the lord got me too stoned for this

ok www.nytimes.com/2025/09/10/o...

oh you know, just thinking stuff

Post a random picture or everything will go bad in August

great job

I have had a busy week and I don't know what burrito taxi means and I am not going to find out.

During our Teacher Sale on Tuesday, July 8 we had a box of free pens available. We discovered after the event that there were a handful of pens with hidden knives in them. If you took any of the free pens, we ask that you look through them to ensure you don’t have one of these.

the Waymos need to be armed I guess

ok guys can we all just please placate this whining bitch

So. Who's getting catturd2 in the divorce?

the single-arm, non-randomized, open-label study of high-dose ketamine as prophylaxis against Trump derangement syndrome has failed to meet any of its endpoints

JD Vance Returns to the Vatican, a Potential Reset for the American Right www.nytimes.com/2025/05/18/u...

I would like a word with the campaign consultants that advised Harris/Walz dialing back the "weird" line of attack please

OK, he’s wrecking the economy. But at least he ended the war in Ukraine in 24 hours with his secret plan like he promised.

thank u president trump for overseeing two of the largest reductions in humanity’s CO2 emissions in all of recorded history

They've had plenty of off ramps, how many more do you want us to build for them? And why can't they pick themselves up by their bootstraps and build their own?

61% tariff on The Land Before Time

hE's A bUsInEsSmAn

So long, Bluesky. You’re delightful people. It’s time for me to abolish my (admittedly tiny) social media footprint, and tune out until I can stand to tune back in, if ever. This place has the juice, and I hope it does well.

My. Fucking. Sides.

He sounds like Boomhower on quaaludes

oh man, what if, like, Saudi Arabia gave President Harris's brother-in-law $2 billion, or some crazy shit like that. would that be bad, or

Was it though? Was it really?

Following a campaign event in Mt. Airy, North Carolina Lt. Governor Mark Robinson has been admitted to the hospital for complications from autoerotic asphyxia. A spokesman said Robinson had been "chasing the dark nut."

Change in Headline

feeling cute might delete later idk

The NYT actually used the word “racist”

Things present in this AirBnB: enormous ceiling fan; wine decanter in its own cabinet; many 8-cup basket coffee filters. Things not present in this AirBnB: lamps with light bulbs; corkscrew; coffee machine that uses 8-cup basket coffee filters.

be really careful reskeeting this, folks. it's too late for me, i've already made my bed 😔. there is still time for you to save yourself from the untamed legal fury of moral crusader christopher rufo by not repeating the fact that his email address was found on the infidelity site for morons.

👍

I bless the rains in Nude Africa (pornographic)

Great fact check @nytimes.com, any notes on the "BURNED DOWN MINNEAPOLIS" part?

picture of the guy who says shootings are a "fact of life"

Hey @npr.org great story guys, there is actually a more concise and accurate way to say this

Would you like to guess how many Black voters who are "socially conservative Black voters in the South are wary of Harris’s outspoken support for reproductive freedom" are *actually quoted* in this story? You get one guess.

Hottest of takes here

Starting to think this whole RFK Jr. thing was just a fluke of history (like literally a parasitic trematode)

For some unknown reason, The NY Times has not noticed Trump’s cognitive decline. www.theguardian.com/us-news/arti...

i would rather eat pennies than read this

BUT HIS E-MAILS

If Trump stops using "My Heart Will Go On" as rally entertainment, what should replace it? www.youtube.com/watch?v=y25s...

Uncut Grinch for president

#BREAKING: Trump clarifies "misrembered" Willie Brown helicopter story; "it was a small plane and it was Jeffrey Epstein"

there are republicans putting Walz’s face on tampons and I just wanna be like, your daughter didn’t really join drama club she’s just avoiding visitation.

Don’t know why we are mocking this. Everyone knows that Section 230 of the 1994 Crime Bill makes failure to advertise a RICO violation under HIPPAA. That’s just basic First Amendment law.

By NYT standards, a presidential nominee backing out of a debate unless they get friendly moderators and audience is a big story meriting news articles, analysis, op-eds, and asking everyone in their party about it. Wait, sorry, GOP nominee Donald Trump did that. Never mind, just print what he says.

Happy birthday to @JDVance

Utterly unreal snipe, look at that fucking gap. You could get a Funko Pop in there