"Is this Boots actor gay irl?" *sees we have 150 IG friends in common: all hot thotty men, Jan Sport, and Cat Cohen* "Ohhhhh."

The whole of Greek mythology:

💁‍♂️

I've been microdosing Boots and I only have 2 episodes left to edge to 😭

This timeline...

Pick a hole, idgaf if its the same one

All it takes is wearing a hat to make me like myself a little bit more.

LMAOOOOOO www.rollingstone.com/music/music-...

We really drove this man into hiding

Still here.

why would you need chatgpt erotic content when this exists

Call me HGTV - blow out these fuckin walls. Call me refund check - rip me open with abandon. Call me Dove for Men bodywash - I'm about to have 2 in 1. Call me an extra in The Pit - have me on a slab, insides on the outsides. Call me Kelly Rowland - can't do it solo, need to be a trio.

NYPD cops are worried about someone who's not a white, christian, conservative becoming mayor? should we tell everyone? should we throw a party? should we invite bella hadid?

Just remembered its a three day weekend and I have one more day to alternate between wanting to die and beating off non stop

Need every male cast member of Netflix's Boots to pass me around like a common cold

They'd rather you be an uncut gooner than be neurodivergent?????

Jean Grey:

My whole staff is furloughed except me wheeeeee

Doing a little inktober for myself where I doodle formative crushes and today is Tom Everett Scott in That Thing You Do.

I hope we all survive long enough to call Bam Pondi a cunt to her face.

Desperate scare tactics from these ghouls. That motherfucker is an embarassment to our name.

Baby I know the law. Out of their fucking minds. www.govexec.com/pay-benefits...

Blonde flop using clockable AI in her promo videos we have to laugh

Can't wait to see her get the Nobel Peace Prize.

Greta continues to be one of the bravest bitches out here.

Taylor Swift is Bright Eyes for girls who liked English class and asked for a pink hair straightener every Christmas for six years in a row. (Album is trash. Mama go wax that man's back and plan your Beatrix Potter/Gatsby/Atonement themed wedding or whataver for a few years. You've lost the sauce.)

Shifted my dick to the left side today just to feel something different and it's changing my whole day.

unfortunately I will be getting a lot of use out of this

An aspirational story for all the vile, talentless, boot-licking cunts out there. One day, you too can rise to the top by being a brain-rotted, trash bitch!

Taylor/Charli

bouncing on it is not enough I need you to punch me in the face

So horny I could lick the screen

Is...is this a reference to...?

Its be very funny if tomorrow I started working through a shutdown and started Locktober. (Yet to find one that doesn't make my foreskin feel like its being shoved through a pasta maker.)

I gave up panicking about the slow-motion destruction of my career a few months ago as best I could. Not in a virtuos way - more like a "I have to, otherwise I'm gonna wind up in grippy socks very soon" way. That said - I am going to go full manic for the next 24ish hours. Send good vibes.

Wig glue industry in mourning.

Call me oil because they're saying I'm essential sis

🙃🙃🙃🙃

Praying for a shutdown tbh

So close to finishing 🥲

😪

huge slut for an autumnal cocktail.

WIP 👀

Jesus Christ did not die for me to have a job, he died for me to have illicit gay sex

Not my brand of humor but Jimmy Kimmel...absolutely would, raw.

🌸🌸🌸

I had a dream we were wandering an empty mansion, calling for each other. The roof was rotting in, moss and crows nests tipping into vaulted hallways with dirty marble floors. A piano crashed through the music room into the kitchen some time ago. Roaches and ivories crunched underfoot.