Half a mile inside a mountain in the north of Norway, the UK is preparing for war.

2025 has not been kind to arrogant, entitled men born into privileged families and named Andrew.

A 15-point win for VA gov. A 5-point win for VA AG in a race he was expected to lose. A 13-point win for NJ gov, in a race that was expected to be close. An outright majority in NYC in a three-way race. A 30-point win for Prop 50 in CA. #BlueWave #Election2025

In the face of an embarrassing election loss, the aspiring autocrat doubles down on the autocracy. Because if elections aren't going to go your way, then maybe there don't need to be elections at all. Watch the Pantone Menace in the coming days.

Establishment Dems pushing Janet Mills—who would be 85 after her first term—to run for Maine Senate.🤦🏽‍♂️ We HAVE a stellar candidate in Graham Platner (40), who rejects AIPAC, condemns Israel’s genocide in Gaza, demands universal healthcare, & is people funded. Donate $5 here: actl.ink/grmpltnerbgi...

LMAO @ Democrats saying they oppose Mamdani because he would be "deeply unpopular" as mayor. They oppose him because he will be deeply POPULAR as mayor and it scares the bejesus out of them.

"We're all going to die." -Senator Joni Ernst True. But sometimes our careers die first.

The Harmonic Multiverse is the idea that all possible universes exist like notes in a vast cosmic symphony. Close realities differ slightly, like instruments playing a note sharp or flat, while distant ones are whole new tunes. Reality is harmony: fractal superpositions structured like music.

Sometimes I don't want to be perceived. Sometimes I want to be the center of attention. The fun part is that even I don't know how I'll feel at any given moment.

Alaska is the perfect place for a meeting with Putin because, like Ukraine, it used to be Russian territory but never will be again.

Why do they call it Mobile, Alabama when it hasn't moved in years?

Just to be clear: 47 doesn't hate war because he abhors violence and killing. He hates war for the same reason that he hates kids and animals: because they take attention away from him. He only wants chaos when HE orchestrates it.

Current NYC mayoral polling: Zohran Mamdani 44% Andrew Cuomo 25% Curtis Sliwa 12% Eric Adams 7% Hizzoner should probably start packing.

Can you only see your children on weekends but don't? Did your mom cosign for your truck? Are you not allowed to buy Sudafed? Do you still talk about the time you almost met Kid Rock? Do you not wash your butthole because it's "too gay?" If so, ICE wants to hire you!

Ghislaine Maxwell will name names, who will coincidentally be mostly Dems or MAGA enemies. She’ll claim 47 is a righteous man who read the Bible in his spare time and tried to get Epstein to change his wicked ways. Then she will get a pardon for her "bravery."

BRO DO YOU EVEN LIFT? Squirrel of the Day for August 7, 2025 #sqrlpix

If you want to boycott Dean Cain shows I have good news for you: he hasn't been in any for years.

Thinking about how if I were Paul Atreides none of the crazy stuff would have gone down because no effing way would I have stuck my hand in that box.

Hulk Hogan’s Spasming Cadaver Body-Slams Mortician theonion.com/hulk-ho...

Fantastic Four: First Steps was good but should’ve been weirder. Best FF movie by far, but it felt like too much was cut. Cast is great. Reed & Sue dominated; Ben & Johnny deserved more. A solid B+, but played it too safe when it could’ve gone wild. Didn’t grab me like Superman did.

My last living musical hero is still my hero but unfortunately no longer living. RIP to the great, great Mr. Tom Lehrer.

Laundry: the price we pay for not being cartoon characters who wear the same outfit every day.

Baby grey squirrel, about 3 weeks old.

Gaza has 24 miles of coastline. The United States should be storming the beaches with aid shipments. If Israel doesn’t like it let them file a grievance with the Navy.

Israel will raze Gaza, then scapegoat Netanyahu. Off to The Hague he goes! Then everyone else will feign shock, cluck disapproval, and pretend they were "against the violence" all along.

CNN is reporting that Attorney General Pam Bondi met with the President in May and advised him that his name appears in the Epstein files. In that same meeting, she also advised him that it is dark at night and that the ocean is wet. It's all in the No Shit file.

This is, without question…my favorite post from 2025:

This is not a chicken nugget. It is a solid clump of nacho cheese powder found in a freshly opened bag of Doritos. Truly the gods have smiled on me this day.

Alligator Auschwitz. Not Alcatraz. Auschwitz. Make no mistake: they put it there so that when they murder people they can feed the bodies to the gators and disappear them. No ovens needed. #AlligatorAlcatraz #AlligatorAuschwitz

Relaxing Tea Better Fucking Work theonion.com/relaxin...

@jamesgunn.bsky.social #Superman was fantastic and just what the world needs right now. Corenswet nailed it. And Fillion stole every scene he was in. One tiny quibble: we need more Krypto! MORE!!!

You know who thinks Superman is woke? Supervillains. #SupermanMovie

Nathan Fillion as Guy Gardner was chef's kiss casting. He steals every scene he's in. #Superman

Things are going well.

I miss the original Jardiance® lady.

It is well past time that Captain Kangaroo was posthumously promoted to admiral.

If adopted, this model could replace gerrymandering with a fairer, more democratic system—one in which voters are represented by geography, not political gamesmanship. /end #Redistricting #Gerrymandering #PolicyReform #ElectoralFairness

This approach treats redistricting as a civic duty, like jury service. It limits partisan influence, increases transparency, and builds public trust in the outcome. /9

The jury votes on a final map. A supermajority is required to approve. Judges confirm legality. Once approved, the map becomes law—no further legislative or executive input. /8

Deliberations would be public and recorded. Criteria include: - Equal population - Compactness - Contiguity - Community integrity - Legal compliance /7

Political parties could each strike a limited number of jurors during selection, similar to voir dire in court. This adds balance without handing control to any side. /6

Jurors would receive training and nonpartisan briefings. Experts provide demographic, legal, and geographic data, but have no vote or authority over the jury. /5

Judges would oversee the process, ensuring compliance with the Voting Rights Act, state laws, and constitutional requirements. Their role would be legal, not political. /4

This “Apportionment Jury” would function like a legal jury: - Random selection - Screening for bias - Balanced representation - Guided by legal standards - Transparent deliberation /3

One reform proposal: use a jury system for redistricting. Randomly selected citizens, not politicians, would draw district maps—overseen by judges and informed by experts. /2

Gerrymandering allows politicians to choose their voters instead of voters choosing their leaders. It distorts democracy, protects incumbents, and weakens public trust. /1

TIL that Kentucky was almost named Transylvania and I am deeply, deeply disappointed with our forebears.

@smerconish.bsky.social You say we should "get out there and mingle." With WHO exactly? The MAGA crowd cheering on as ICE becomes the Gestapo? Or as they elect a dictator? Or who think certain people's lives are of less value? I am not interested in "mingling" with monsters. Sorry not sorry.

Elon Musk is now promising to fund primary challengers to any member of Congress who votes for the Big Ugly Bill. So now I can add "making me agree with Elon Musk" to my list of grievances against the Republican party.