Look, some contractions can't be used at the end of a sentence and that's just how it's.

I can listen to these shows for about three minutes at a time, at which point the casually appalling racism is too much. Very much a product of their time. Series written by the first Gene Stafford.

Everyone can relax. They're bringing in Jared Kushner.

I hope there's a cannabis law firm somewhere called The High Counsel.

Flight Attendant: Is there a doctor on board?! Doctor: I have a PhD in Existentialist Philosophy. Flight Attendant: This man is dying! Doctor: Correct.

Flight Attendant: Is there a doctor on board?! Doctor: [rising dramatically] I have a PhD in Theater. Flight Attendant: This man is dying! Doctor: He's got to EMOTE!

PROPHETIC. Do I have the gift of second sight? Do my perceptions pierce the veil of reality itself? I'm just asking questions.

Fuck. That’s what I was worried about. Makes sense, though - the Warthog pilot would naturally be open to more risk if trying to keep a downed crew member from being captured

They call me whatever names they want. I will never stop fighting for the right to vote and against voter suppression.

Iran has claimed to have shot down an F-35 and has posted the following images as proof. This is *not* an F-35, but rather an F-15 of the 494th Fighter Squadron. I will explain how I came to this conclusion below.

It’s almost as if this war in Iran is being run by a drunken frat boy and a geriatric drug addict who wants the world to keep pretending he’s not a senile pedophile owned by Putin.

If someone sincerely regrets voting for Trump, the correct response is not to shame them. It is to offer them a way back into the conversation.

100,000 people in Boston on a cold March day! #NoKings

MySubpoena

The tactics FTC Chair Andrew Ferguson decried as jawboning in Murthy (weaponized investigations) are, of course, precisely the same tactics he's used against Newsguard, Media Matters, and gender-affirming care providers over speech he doesn't like (ad boycotts or trans care). It's always projection

Maybe Tiger Woods should just stop driving altogether.

Apparently grandpa used to party with Gale Gordon. That must have been LIT.

I like to say "baboon" like David Attenborough. B'boon. It also works with b'foon.

Get him to tell us more, Mark Hamill. If you have to go there in Jedi robes and induct him into the order to get him to talk, then do it! Hopefully he doesn't accidentally fall on a lightsaber shortly afterward. Also there is a reasonable chance the mind trick would just work on him.

"I want a long, protracted war." -No leader ever It's almost like these people are incompetent or something.

I bet Barack Obama smells amazing. It's probably not even cologne, he probably just wakes up smelling amazing.

what birds yell

Zoomers who grew up playing their older sibling's copy of Battlefield 3 and voted for Trump in 2024 getting sent to Kharg

I’m at ICE HQ

ZUCK ON IT.

A retired Major General told America that Pete Hegseth’s words are “absolutely the words of potential war criminals.” The Secretary of Defense. Of the United States.

The bus is running right on schedule.

I choose to believe.

Her do-nothing job has a boss to make sure she does nothing.

Grampa was a legendary radio man. Literally. Half man, half radio. His legs were made by Philco. By the end he was more radio than man. It was terrifying. But I digress.

I don’t think of Bannon as a part of the news media, but under my own definition, he is. So good point. I wrote about him several months ago.

More creamy Free League goodness has arrived.

NEW: Trump now open to funding DHS without funding ICE. This would: 1. Force republicans to fund ICE without any help from democrats via reconciliation 2. Allow Dems to vote to fund TSA, FEMA, Coast Guard, CISA etc www.politico.com/news/2026/03...

Denmark, our literal and official ally, is making preparations to defend itself against us.

Any questions about things that might be birds? I'm your guy.

I keep thinking about this.

Yeah but here's the good news: only 37 more years til the Vulcans get here.

Fun fact: The #2 position in the Iranian government is the Superior Leader.

Flight Attendant: Is there a doctor on board?! Doctor: I have a PhD in Theoretical Ornithology. Flight Attendant: This man is dying! Doctor: Maybe it was a bird.

Flight Attendant: Is there a doctor on board?! Doctor: I'm a Florida pain doctor. Flight Attendant: This man is dying! Doctor: How many Vicodins to make this go away?

Flight Attendant: Is there a doctor on board?! Doctor: I have a PhD in psychology. Flight Attendant: This man is dying! Doctor: *scribbling notes* Mm-hmm. And how does that make you feel?

Flight Attendant: Is there a doctor on board?! Doctor: I have a PhD in philosophy. Flight Attendant: This man is dying! Doctor: Is he, though?

Flight Attendant: Is there a doctor aboard? Doctor: I have a PhD in history. Flight Attendant: This man is dying! Doctor: *nodding* That happens a lot.

Irony Man.

"I ain't never been one for your fancy book learnin', but I reckon resectionin' a prostate ain't no more difficult than firin' a six-shooter." -Worst urologist ever

"Ethics waiver" is the modern version of the sale of indulgences. It's Reformationin' time.

Insanity. They are laughing at us.

"Foolish lagomorph, Illusionz are for offspring!" -alien replicant of the Trix rabbit