No shit.

Let’s go, it's a couch rot day.

“Play” by Jennifer Lopez is an incredible song, and kudos to @trixiemattel.bsky.social for getting a remix on the 25th re-release. Darkchild, yeah.

And another album I used to rip remixes off of Limewire in my college dorm room turns 25.

Just another Friday morning shedding tears to StoryCorps on @npr.org, nothing to see here.

Holy hollow leg hunger, Batman. I can't satiate myself today.

Welcome to cracked thumb season.

Bumps post-pump for humpday.

I love when shuffle reminds me of a stellar album.

New research shows exercise is as effective as medication at reducing symptoms of depression. And you don't need to run a marathon to see benefits. So how much is enough? n.pr/4pyoy1I

Two Kylie songs, confirmed millennial f@ggot.

Colman Domingo and Diane Lane in a production, when?

Wanda Sykes thanks Ricky Gervais for not being there because it means she can accept the award on his behalf... and he's gonna thank God and the trans community (he won, she did) #GoldenGlobes

Hell yeah, shout to therapists. Go see one, you deserve it.

Paul Giamatti, Holly Hunter, and Tig Nataro in space make it so.

I'd also love to know what millennial or millennial f@ggot did the soundtrack this evening.

From my favorite sweats, JLo’s dress is not great.

“Reptile expo”

The Globes are always such a mess, and I love that.

Everything feels so out of control, so I'm doing something I can control this morning and taking down Christmas decor and cleaning.

Football pants are so f*ggy. Spandex capris that hit above the knee? What are we doing?

Y’all, I've actively chosen to watch the IU football game over Drag Race, or anything else.

At the dentist, the technician starts a scan of my teeth for a new night guard: “You have a very small mouth, but you are accommodating this wand wonderfully.” Me: “Well, I am married to a man.” Tech: *nervous laughter and blushing, “Well, good for him.”

Happy Friday! First full work week of reality in 2026, and we made it.

Dad’s first cupping.

Needed to unwind from the world, so finally started The Pit S1. Three episodes in, and we’ll be done with this in about 4-5 days.

All of this. Take care of yourselves so you can be strong to fight back.

Left Eye (RIP) was literally wearing a condom on her glasses.

How old are yall on this app? She has literally been promoting safe sex since ‘92

Please stop using ChatGPT. But if you can't stop, DO. NOT. FEED. IT. HEALTH. INFORMATION.

Our government functions like a rich nuclear family with an abusive dad. You don’t even have to look too deeply to see it. It’s After-School Special shit.

I left X at the end of 2022 when Musk let Trump back on, seeing where all this was going. I promise you, life will go on If youre scared of losing friends, add on other apps. If you still fall out of touch, they were acquaintances. If likes matter more, see a therapist about that dopamine addiction

I will not look away. I desperately want to, for I am filled with emotions that I can do nothing with, but I will not look away.

This is essentially the Milk Street Persian Barley soup recipe that I have tweaked over the last couple of years.

From Fall through Winter, I make this farro soup with ginger, turmeric and dill about once every two weeks. And I typically serve it with a ginger and scallion turkey meatball. Is it considered a hyper fixation meal with more than a week in between?

The Ryan Murphy model of booking one irresistible diva in one of his shit shows, making it nearly impossible not to watch, strikes again. Isabella Rosselini?!!!

Sexistential. 3/27/26. “I feel like the purpose of my life is to stay horny - it doesn’t even have to be about sex, but it’s feeling sensual and attracted to things that I enjoy, and not letting anything take over that.” inject me!

broken clock, twice a day

Why is work?

Today is my return to real life, cue the Soul II Soul. Happy Tuesday, y’all.

Long day, but make it dapper.

All errands are done before noon on a Sunday. Happy weekend, boys!

And inspired Jocelyn Wildenstein’s plastic surgeon.

And, the adorable @rudenudedudes.bsky.social gave me a little kiss that night. It's fun meeting everyone IRL, and I vow to do more of it in 2026.

Y’all, I got to meet and hug on Phil before the queen took the stage on NYE! Didn't get a photo, but what a delightful and cute human.

Just to be clear, we’re all showering after a flight, correct?

I keep opening the DoorDash app instead of the Delta app on my phone. Am I hungry (always), or do the apps look similar when all color is removed from the icons?

Let’s take a bite out of 2026, kids.

And for a further glimpse into my psychosis, the next day, my parents sent me to school with a duffle filled with clothes and a card for the teacher that read (paraphrasing), “Chinese Proverb says: If you save someone's life, you are responsible for them forever.” 🥴😶🫠