I'm not surprised by the lengths they are willing to go to stop us from seeing the Epstein Files. Just look at how far they were willing to go to stop us from ever hearing from Jeffrey Epstein again.

Okay sometimes guns ARE cool you've convinced me

As a soldier they made me carry the radio coz that guy's first to be shot

Fiancee worried about money I said ‘maybe you’d be okay if you didn’t have a horse’ she said ‘maybe I’d be okay if I didn’t have a comedian’

From The Tiny Vet Podcast S3E77: Vaccine Reactions

Comics take the Saudi coin

The more AI convinces it’s userbase to kill themselves the less of a problem I have with it

Guy came into my partner’s vet clinic with a cockroach said “my pet cockroach is sick” if you have a pet cockroach you’re sick

need people to stop making technology inspired by Star Trek (smooth, sleek, no buttons, all screen, voice activation, extremely minimal, wireless) and start making technology inspired by Star Wars (clunky buttons, indicator lights on everything, ugly, indestructible, fat cables that emit steam)

Tiny Vet Podcast E76 out today. Give a listen wherever you get your pods.

decades of ableist cyberpunk warning us that prosthetics that assist mobility and perception would drive people to cyberpsychosis but instead it's just people with smartphones going insane because they were affirmed by robot texts a little too much into fully detaching from reality

“I don’t use AI for work but I do find it useful for telling me when to breathe in and when to breathe out,” is what a lot of people sound like.

None of these elderly Chinese relatives know where to slot me in the social hierarchy so they end up just avoiding eye contact, which as an autistic is perfect

They say rent should be 30% of your take-home income and at 120% I'm getting close!

Walking hand in hand with a Chinese woman in Singapore is great coz the streets are clean but the looks I’m getting are very dirty

Started today with MRI results that show I don't have cancer then ended with a bomb that made me wish I did my birthday was a rollercoaster

Omg help someone just booked me to do 30 mins “corporate clean” and they’ve made a huge mistake for us both

I wrote down all my material, redacted everything I can't do in a "corporate clean" set and it looks like The Epstein Files

I have Big Snitch Energy

If you’re ever confused about “which famous UK comics were accused of sexual misconduct” just check out some Australian lineups

I just saw someone holding an open can of Monster Energy Drink at 8:30am, and I feel very strongly that that beverage contains Night Energy. It’s only for mornings if you’ve been up all night and you are still carrying the darkness with you.

Running The Light by Sam Tallent

Excuse me do you like to laugh? This week on Murph's Tavern, Murph is joined by the prince of pies @jezwattscomedy.bsky.social and sultan of seltzer @donnacollins.bsky.social to discuss Season 9's Last Temptation of Krust

Last night before I went onstage the whole lineup started reassuring me all at once like I was an anxious dog and I liked it

Yes I will MC your wedding but I insist on doing Slugman

Do Musk next

Fiancée upped my anxiety meds without asking my GP because “I can trust her she has a lot of experience with nervous dogs”

When antipasto meets regular pasto it annihilates

Every time your therapist laughs should be $10 off the session

I have lost track of the number of times I've been backannounced with "is everyone okay?"