I probably definitely got hit on maybe but they didn't literally say "I want you to put your dick inside my ass" so I'm not actually sure.

Weird how I can be simultaneously terrified of all human interaction but also painfully horny at the same time.

I'm not assertive, and I'm autistic AF so basically you're going to need to be like "can I come over and get railed?" And then I'll be like "yes please" and once you're here and naked I'll potentially figure out that you want me to do the sex on you. But I'm good at it, if that helps.

If you see this, post a robot

Barbie girl parody about Tariffs when? I'd do it myself but I'm not talented enough.

"WOKE Barbieland has gotten away with abusing us for TOO LONG. Some of those Barbies aren't even cis white blonde women like my incredibly sexy daughter! 100% TARIFF!"

Progress pics

Borny

Update: they still actually hate each other.

I still don’t now what I was do with this thing. I’m trying, please be patient.

In case you thought I was lying

They hated each other until yesterday.

Before you get in my DMs just know I’m built like this:

I’m late because:

The saga continues

Cats have adapted well to the new place (except for Goomba) and are getting along just fine with their new brother (except for Goomba) so everything is great there (except for Goomba).

Wild to think at the start of this year I would have had no bingos. Hopefully 2025 will make it 3, maybe even 4. Midlife crisis who?

Early 2000s me working a cash register and the total plus tax comes to an even dollar amount Customer: “oh wow what are the odds of that haha” Me: “about 1 in 100” Customer: 🤨 Me: 😬

Give me a single screenshot from a video game that immediately makes you great the soundtrack in your head.

Age yourself with a movie you saw in a theater as a kid

Idc what he looks like or what he tweeted about, we should not be defending murderers. And by murderers I mean the organized crime ring that collects our money and leaves us to die so their shareholders can get even richer.

Wondering who will be my first non-monogamous experience in my new place 🤔 Ok so yeah I’ve had non-monogamous experience in this place before but it wasn’t *mine* yet

By the first 2 weeks of December I’m already tired of it because people have been acting like it’s “the Christmas season” for an entire month already.

Yourself, but as a cartoon.

Some progress pics. Still have lots of bats and skulls to put up but is coming along.

I’d still fuck Todd Pipes

Redemption

Was reflecting on childhood media and have come to the conclusion that I would bang both the Kratt brothers into a catatonic state and the lemur can watch idgaf

Tfw his load goes down the wrong pipe

It me

“Oh look, a lil thing some people seem to enjoy. I’m gonna go wreck it, lol.”

Post a 3-10 second video of yourself.

2025/2015

Well that was short lived… Anyway I’m almost a Columbus gay.

I don’t wanna spoil it but there was a cute surprise in mine this time.

#humpday I don’t generally take pictures of my butt so this is the best your gonna get 🤷🏻‍♂️

This polish is insane. If it comes back for PPU Rewind I’m getting a backup.

My 40s feel less old than my 30s because I no longer remember what it was like to move without something making a noise and hurting a little.

Random confessions: 1) I’ve never been inside a gym 2) I bought my first and only jock strap at 40 years old. Worn twice. 3) any part of my beard that isn’t white in my pictures is dyed 4) I have never been on an airplane 5) I’ve never lived more than 165 miles from where I was born.

My dick is a little bigger than most people are comfortable with but a little too small to absolve me from the burden of having a personality.

Show your pet and who/what they are named after

A visual demonstration of my BUTT CLOCK technique to open up your hole or your partner’s hole before fucking. This has revolutionized making anal sex easier for people all over the world! #anal #analsex #butt #buttstuff #top #bottom #vers

For those going home to visit family this weekend: • Samsung calls it Auto Motion Plus • LG calls it TruMotion • Sony calls it Motionflow • Roku calls it Action Smoothing • Google TV calls it Motion Enhancement • Vizio calls it Smooth Motion Effect.

When I post things that aren’t my dick it seems to kinda flop 😅

Not quite #monochromemonday but almost, definitely still #mancrushmonday though. Why we always do this color scheme and never put @stryderwilde.bsky.social in the middle though?

I did a typo and deleted the post and I’m not repeating myself 🫠

Imagine having 3 cats and laying in bed completely alone. THIS IS A CALL OUT (of my cats, who have abandoned me)

“I have a boyfriend” okay? I can kiss him too?

This timeline would’ve had the rizz