I'm sure the White House Faith Office will issue a press statement shortly, announcing this to be the vengeance of their lord against us, sinful, radical left heathens.

Q: Why did the Texas National Guard cross the Columbia River? A: To get shot on the other side.

I love this idea people have that when I try to read or watch one thing, they can decide to show me something completely different and expect it'll make me want to buy their shit rather than just pissing me off and making me a never-ever-customer.

Look—I don't have RFK Jr getting p0wnd irl by some pissed-off incel loser with a sharpie fetish, over fucking up Mountain Dew, Gatorade and/or Cheetos, on my bingo card for this year. If he makes it through the next few months, perhaps I should consider it for '26?

Okay, for reals though people. I might *actually* have to pay stuffed crust pizzas to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to beat Stephen Miller's lily-white tuchus if this shit keeps up.

This, is an official communique from AntiFa Space Warz Directorate:

I'm going to pay the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to beat up Stephen Miller.

See what happens when you don't potty-train your bitch? Off to the gravel pit with this one.

TGI(stfu)F. Learn the script.

Nevermind that Punisher is a vigilante who goes after people like Patel and the rest of the regime. What a fucking stupid idiot. He must have a bent vienna sausage dick or something. This is a product of years of telling mediocre wannabe alphas to be their own douchebaggy brand.

Chute all ice agents in the hed.

All those years of seeing Danica Patrick in GoDaddy commercials and being mildly confused, never having heard of her as a noteworthy driver. Turns out I was hearing it wrong this whole time. Racist car driver, not race car driver.

BREAKING: Our client Mario Guevara, an Emmy-winning journalist detained by ICE in retaliation for livestreaming law enforcement activity, will be deported tomorrow to El Salvador. Mario and his family are being punished for his reporting. This cruelty is meant to stifle our free press.

What a classless piece of shit. And really, napkins for drinks on the Resolute Desk? Couldn't at least get little presidential coasters? He just shits on everything.

So with government shutting down, does that mean the gestapo ice raids will cease for a bit?

Ever go to swallow a cool and refreshing mouthful of water, only to have your esophageal muscles seemingly fire out of sequence, resulting in the instant and unyielding sensation of ripping and burning, as though you'd swallowed a bit of brimstone? Yeah well—fuck, that, noise.

Kash Patel's Wikipedia page should be updated to include international arms trafficking under his work experience. What kind of idiot gifts ghost guns to gov't officials?

Breaking News: Bug-eyed dark skinned foreigner caught smuggling & distributing illegal 3D printed ghost guns internationally. Oh—wait—that's just our idiot FBI director conducting his version of diplomacy.

Nothing to see here. Just us not sending our best to New Zealand. Just our woefully unqualified and bug-eyed podcaster of an FBI director smuggling illegal weapons into sovereign allied nations. Just our criminal regime members distributing ghost guns in peaceful countries.

Dear Amateur Electricians of Planet Earth, A ground wire coated with paint under a wirenut is grounding exactly fuckin' nothing. Thank you. #howthefuckhasmyhousenotburneddownyet #whothefuckdidthisshit

ABOLISH ICE. What more do Americans need to see?

Being a network engineer means I can do shit I only dreamed of as a child. Like wiring PoE cams under bed and in-closet, to ensure from the comfort of my phone, there are no monsters. Being an adult means not bothering, because I'd prefer being eaten by monsters over enduring this fuckaas reality.

Can we normalize finding shitty New York mobsters folded up and stuffed in oil barrels and trunks of cars again?

Ruminating on this song while working on some art.

I can see it now: "Introducing Tesla Full Self Driving 5.0! Tesla's FSD handles the risky business, so you can get down to risqué business."

Everyone loves a slinky!

Who really, genuinely, loves you the most?

Can we not refer to writing on ammo as "engraving" when not actually engraved? Ink, grease, crayon, blood, whatever—is writing and contamination. Accurate marksmen don't foul their rifles with garbage. If someone etches legibly into a cartridge and is dumb enough to fire it—then call it engraving.

So I see the UN building's flea comb tripped up a couple of louses trying to get in.

He did nazi the consequences of being on Schindler's lift.

Goodbye Blue Sky has never failed to evoke emotion since the first time I heard it as a child.

Kimmel’s back—proof that public pressure can make a difference. But folks in our region won’t be able to watch tonight because KOMO’s owner, Sinclair, refuses to air the show on its ABC stations. It’s corporate cowardice to censor programming just because the president doesn’t like it.

"You go to Hell! You go to Hell and you die!" - Evil Mr. Garrison. www.reuters.com/world/us/tru...

I teach science. Tylenol does NOT cause autism. Tylenol which was not produced until 1950. Most important, SHAME on the charlatans making this completely false claim. Imagine the thousands of mothers who are ridden with guilt because they gave birth to an autistic child and they took Tylenol.

IMPEACH CONVICT REMOVE THE HEAD OR DESTROY THE BRAIN

The University Democrats at UT-Austin, a longstanding student group, has been told that no guests, candidates, or speakers can speak at their meetings unless the administration approves them. Submitted speakers' lists have been ignored or summarily denied. Please HMU if you know a good 1A attorney

A lot of people don’t want to admit Charlie Kirk was racist because they would have to admit they are racist too, and that truth cuts deeper than they can handle. I will not mourn a bigot.

Nothing to see here. Just Mark Fuckerberg's company Meta, stealing, torrenting & seeding content from ethical feminist adult content producers to gain an edge in training their AI for their own financial benefit. Billionaires are thieves. www.wired.com/story/meta-l...

I am so tired of getting the shit scared out of me by National Guard waking around randomly in the dark in the middle of neighborhoods

Hey everybody! @hakeem-jeffries.bsky.social is a complicit sympathizer who pretends to oppose fascism while voting to honor a dead nazi. Fuck you Hakeem.

Hey @housedemocrats.bsky.social, FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU FOREVER.

democrats literally decided to shit all over their two most loyal voting blocs. Black women and the lgbt+ community. they’re completely done.

I am proud to be born a Muslim. I am proud to be born in Somalia. I am proud to have become an American. None of you can change that no matter how much you rage tweet. Drink some water and touch grass.

fascism has one tool and it's a stick and they hit you with it and when you say stop they say no and hit you harder and when you look like you're gonna fight back, they hit you again and when you give in they keep hitting you until you're dead there's no middle ground with fascism

Robert F Kennedy Jr is a bigger freak than Captain Howdy.

In Puget Sound WA this is Komo.

@housedemocrats.bsky.social you dumb feckless assholes. It's really very simple. DO NOT 👏 HONOR 👏 DEAD BIGOTS 👏 Can you manage that, you fucks? We'll fucking convict and hang you for treason right alongside the magats. www.axios.com/2025/09/18/c...