Also frightened if I go to sleep my face will blow up with Lisa Rinna lips like today

I’m hungry and there’s no snacks and a 19 year old cat guarding the kitchen and it’s 2am and not my house and halp

Absolutely furious I am now watching CNN in the night before bed YES I KNOW

Finally some news I can get behind

So, the land of the free is just running round killing their own citizens here there and everywhere.

I am stunned that Jacob Elordi got a nom for grunting and Mescal missed out for Shakespeare

Sinners is far and away the crowd favourite here

Say what you will about Hitler, at least he knew which countries he was invading.

The choice is impeachment and removal or calamity for the United States. I don't see how anybody watching Trump's speech in Davos can draw any other conclusion. He's a senile madman.

Why is everyone listening to this quietly??? Someone yell something. Where’s the shoe throwing dude?

If he’s going to pretend this isn’t in the speech he should probably not read it off the fucking autocue

Oh Christ he’s got his eyes on the North Sea oil now hasn’t he. He’s going to invade us next.

What the hell is happening to Rory Stewart on Newsnight??

Every - and I do mean multiple - attempt I have made to get out of London for a few days this year has failed miserably. Yet another instance has just crumbled a day ahead of leaving. I’m getting a little tired of this.

Politics live has gone weird

The 4 people who did this 'Led by Donkeys' were arrested for this as 'malicious communications' But it is just facts.

“I don’t give a shit about the Bayeux tapestry tell Macron to give us the £45 million back” we’re TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE YOU ONE TRICK PONY

I feel like I only open this app to yell about how much I can’t stand Zia Yusuf and here we are again. Absolute fucking plum.

The chalamadingdong ping pong movie looks good

Just if anyone was enquiring; No fans allowed (not me) in the bedroom so am relegated to the front room There is a police helicopter overhead The cat has lost her fucking mind and decided to choose parkour So feeling FUCKING RELAXED Good thing I don’t have a job interview in the morning. Oh.

At the centre of the unassuming A-roads linking Vauxhall, Oval and Stockwell, @bronmaher.bsky.social reports from the chemsex core of ‘The Tina Triangle’. www.the-fence.com/the-tina-tri...

Adam Fleming really proving himself to be a boys boy in this interview with the Masterchef contestant. Twat.

@thangamdebbonaire.bsky.social good Lord well done on your composure this evening. Not sure I matched it.

Zia Yusuf isn’t a bright fella hey

Never had the privilege is quite the statement

The concept of just lying down on the street a la the Radiohead video clip is not unappealing right now

Honestly, as the Z’s would say, the millennial urge to just give up

Fuming at having to go to bed for being a grown up fucks sake

“why would someone need pre-boiled eggs” “why would someone need grocery delivery services” disabled people exist ! anytime you see something that makes life easier its probably beneficial for disabled people !

Mmm Frogface Farage is on telly blathering about ripping off Giuliani’s broken windows policy. He’s very shiny. Like he’s wiped his face in Crisco.

I could be doing so many other things right now. Like. Making more St Marks solution. Measuring my stoma (length of little finger to thumb AMIRITE LADEEZ) Trying to get the Rosie O’Donnell treatment from #1 Epstein guest

Where is this goddamn thunderstorm I am lying down half asleep drinking goddamn DIORALYTE to ensure safe passage though this hellscape

It is 2.15am. If there is not some FUCKING SIGNIFICANT weather action shortly I am going to really lose the plot.

At what time can I yell at people on the balcony on a Friday

YES PLZ. Continuing my quest of seeing everything this guy has ever made with abandon. Without abandon? What’s the saying? Ah fuggit.

Christ that Wallace Guy’s a cunt. Signed, someone who’s DM’s he slid into asking me what hotel I was staying at around 17 years ago.

Hahaha well that ended well. Fucking hellfire.

Call HMRC they said. They’re really nice they said. This hold time is up there with the DWP. Do no government bodies work in this country?

The mushroom jokes will follow me around for the rest of the my life thanks to this bloody woman.

PS squid game 3 was dumb don’t bother

Looks like it’s about to pelt with rain so I’ll attempt to go lie quietly in a place intended to be lied in quietly. Fuck you brain! 🧠

Well sleeping the entire fucking day appears to have been a false economy

So the brothers play their first gig today. Do we actually think they’ll make it through the tour? Based on the fact this entire thing is financial in nature, and the fact they have arranged a fee from EVERYTHING associated with the shows (Inc food/drink) I think they’ll do half of London and quit.

I have to be up soon

Thank god, a backup plan

Kemi proved herself to be an even bigger cunt than originally thought today