On this episode of 'Headlines That Aged Like Month-Old Milk'... Got any comment on this @thehill.com?

Brave of @claytoonz.bsky.social to risk cancellation for telling the truth.

I love this one from Mike Luckovich (@mluckovich.bsky.social). If you've studied how the Constitution was written in the summer of 1787, you know the founders never imagined the other branches of government being totally unwilling to stop a tyrant.

Savage take from Rick McKee (@rmckee.bsky.social).

Same fucking guy: Portland is "War ravaged" Windmills cause cancer Mexico will pay for the wall "They're eating the dogs, they're eating the cats" in Ohio Stealth fighter jets are literally invisible Frederick Douglass is still alive Drink bleach to cure Covid Etc... etc...

Dispatches from "War ravaged (sic) Portland." It's a nightmare.

#Satire(?) "Donald J. Trump’s latest use of the military against US citizens backfired spectacularly on Saturday after Federal troops arrived in Portland, Oregon and immediately formed indie bands." Two new bands were named The Kristi Nomads and Hegadeth. www.borowitzreport.com/p/federal-tr...

What I expect next: "And then I was watching TV and saw this island with Americans doing a nasty witch hunt where they just decide they don't like someone and kick them off. It's done with a vote... it's very tribal and you know it's rigged."

This asshole said 11 months ago that he will deploy federal troops to keep we "radical left" people from voting. Don't think he won't do it.

OK, which one of you radical-left domestic terrorists did this?

I'm with Justice Sotomayor.

Trump will shut down the government to prevent the release of the Epstein files. It's just as simple as that. www.msnbc.com/news/news-an...

Stephen Colbert on the Republican party's exemplar of strength, toughness, and machismo, Donald J. Trump: "Usually, when a drama queen throws that much of a hissy, at least Andy Cohen interviews them after the show."

And Mango Unchained says the world respects us now? After the insane UN speech, the London Daily Mirror headline says it all. And the headline at Hamburg newspaper, Die Zeit, translates to "With every minute the accusations became more insane." Both seem fair.

Lalo Alcaraz (@laloalcaraz.bsky.social) for the win on Chief Trump Flying Monkey Brendan Carr.

I live in deep-red Nebraska. The local newspaper is as unbalanced as Fox News but, in an article today detailing why Trump has labelled Antifa as "domestic terrorists," this sidebar description was the best they could do. Being against Nazis and white supremacists. Man, bad people there, right?

Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem (center) doesn't take a dog to the gravel pit without backup.

Trump Translated: Nobody has ever asked him about the life and times of Amelia Earhart.

President Shitshow has announced that he will now send troops "to protect War ravaged Portland." The shocking images below show how dismal conditions have become in Oregon's largest city. The horror.

I'm sure nobody is surprised that the current president of the United States advertises for highly-addictive substances on his social media page. You Trump voters just keep telling yourselves that this is totally normal.

Hey, President Molest-a-Lot, speaking of you and 12-year-old children... where's the Epstein files?

Look, gang, Melanoma Trump has announced her new line of Christmas ornaments. (No, not a joke.) This one's only $90 which means it will surely be on trees in well-appointed, upscale MAGA homes throughout the land.

On today's episode of 'The Grift Never Stops'... Failed Trump Vodka is making a comeback. "Trump Vodka: One sip and you'll hate Black people and immigrants" "Trump Vodka: Don't attend a cross burning without it" "Trump Vodka: The only way to toast siblings marrying" Yours?

This headline will make more sense to you then anything else you see today: "Judge Who Killed Wife During Financial Dispute Donated to Trump" meidasnews.com/news/judge-w...

See, it's funny because Jasmine and Davy have the same last name... Get it? And look at that lineup of guffawing stooges with the Feeble Felon.

As I say so often, we can always count on Newsmax to bravely chase the toughest stories.

I just hope when this all comes to an end, Frau Miller is in the bunker with Stephen in those final moments.

How long before these "accidents" start happening here in Gilead?

Real doctors probably don't misspell hepatitis like President Nitwit.

Pete Buttigieg after Trump Monkey Tucker Carlson called him a “fake gay guy.” “I cannot think of a topic I would like to discuss less with Tucker Carlson than that. “I suppose it’s a sign of progress that their idea of a conspiracy is that I am actually secretly straight.”

The cringiest, most embarrassing occupant of the White House since... Never mind. There's never been anything close.

I was on a stopped escalator once. I'm just glad to be alive. Rep. Greg Steube (MAGA-FL): “Thankfully the first lady and the president had their hands on the rails or they likely would’ve fallen down and injured themselves. It seems to be intentional. I don’t know why we’re still part of the UN.”

#Satire(?) Stating that he was “horrified and deeply ashamed,” country singer Morgan Wallen issued an apology after a genealogy report revealed his family had never owned slaves. “Obviously, I’m not my ancestors, but nonetheless it’s just a terrible thing to learn." theonion.com/morgan-walle...

Jesse Duquette (@jesseduquette.bsky.social) nails it exactly.

In addition to a Nobel committee member making it clear that they don't like being leaned on, Nobel historian Asle Sveen, also dismissed Trump’s chances, telling Reuters the president has “no chance to get the Peace Prize at all." www.thedailybeast.com/nobel-commit...

Consistently, Vladimir Putin does everything but get Trump in a headlock, give him noogies, and say "Think, McFly. Think!" www.thedailybeast.com/putin-trolli...

Netherlands late-night host Arjen Lubach took on Disney/ABC's capitulation to Trump in suspending Jimmy Kimmel with many old Disney favorites reimagined to appease Trump. These include Aladdin now being snatched up by ICE and... www.buzzfeed.com/kelley_green...

Memo to RFK Jr. and Trump: Before the polio vaccine was developed, hospitals had entire sections dedicated to iron lungs and treating polio patients.

Seth Meyers: “In a post yesterday on Truth Social, President Trump said that his speech this week at the United Nations has gotten, quote, ‘excellent reviews.’ “It's true. He got five stars from Muttering Barfly Magazine.”

Jimmy Kimmel: “Trump is an old-fashioned ’80s-movie-style bully, taking your lunch money ― and if you give it to him once, he’ll take it again. Two things he loves, lunch and money. "Rooting for this bully... I don't care what side you're on. It's like rooting for Biff in 'Back to the Future.'"

Taking medical advice from this guy is like getting mental health counseling from Charles Manson.

First, Brazil's Bolsonaro gets 27 years and now France is putting Sarkozy away for five years for financing his 2007 campaign with funds from Libya. Other countries know how to deal with their criminals. Here, 77 million of our worst make their crime boss president. www.cnn.com/2025/09/25/e...

And Velveeta Voldemort’s retribution campaign rolls on unabated. www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddo...

It's 68 years today since Black students simply trying to attend Little Rock Central High School in Arkansas had to be escorted to class by the U.S. Army’s 101st Airborne Division. If this happened today, every one of the people attacking these children would be Trump supporters. Guaranteed.

This just in: The suspect in the Dallas ICE field office shooting has been identified as a radical-left, trans, immigrant, person of col-- Hold on... I'm terribly sorry, we're now being told he's actually just another white, American, male with a gun fetish. We regret the error.

This Day in History... September 26, 1960: John F. Kennedy and Richard Nixon square off in first televised presidential debate. TV viewers think Kennedy won, while radio listeners believe Nixon prevailed. Neither whines that the debate was "rigged." www.history.com/this-day-in-...

"How odd that these ill-educated rubes believe it patriotic to worship a man violating every principle we established for the nation." ~ The ghost of James Madison (1751-1836)

It's 68 years today since Black students simply trying to attend Little Rock Central High School in Arkansas had to be escorted to class by the U.S. Army’s 101st Airborne Division. If this happened today, every one of the people attacking these children would be Trump supporters. Guaranteed.

#Satire (Maybe) The committee considering applications for the Nobel Peace Prize has asked Donald J. Trump for “clarification” about remarks he made during a funeral eulogy on Sunday in which he declared his undying hatred for his political opponents. www.borowitzreport.com/p/nobel-peac...

Such a great face you Trump voters have put on our country. The weakest, softest, whiniest president in American history considers a stopped escalator and a malfunctioning teleprompter to be "𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨" at the United Nations.