Legal realizing that the contract they’re supposed to review already has a signature

Sales waiting for legal to finish reviewing a 100 page MSA after sending it to them 3 minutes ago

In house lawyers overhearing the sales team’s conversations

Kirkland associates right now

Me watching White Lotus and hearing one of the characters mention “K&E”

HLS grads when they get asked what law school they went to

Sales vs Legal

This is the last TikTok that TikTok will let me watch @heyitsalexsu.bsky.social

The lawyer you pay $2,000 an hour talking to the other side’s lawyer

That’s him, the guy who billed 300 hours to “attention to discovery”

When your extended family asks how you like being a lawyer

Feeling thankful for yet another social media platform for me to post bad memes and promote my Substack

Serious post warning: The biggest thing holding you back in your career might be that you’ve chosen the wrong game to play. Here are some thoughts on what you should do instead. www.alexofftherecord.com/p/game-selec...

Hello again

When the long weekend is finally over

Biglaw partners tallying up their hours for the year

Biglaw partner, legal tech founder, general counsel

Keeping my phone off today because I heard that good lawyers are hard to find

Anyone else in legal/legaltech just go to @heyitsalexsu.bsky.social ‘s followers to find folks?

Just wanted to honor all Americans who will be out celebrating Independence Day this weekend by drinking and using fireworks. Torts hypos wouldn’t be the same without your sacrifice.

Before you follow me here just know that I’m going to be far more annoying than I was on that other platform

Unblocking all my nemeses on Twitter so my posts count against their daily rate

If you followed me for law related content bc that’s what I post on Twitter…hang in there. Just let me talk my shit first.

I should block this one dude but how else am I gonna be able to track how many times he’s crossed me?

What do you call a subtweet when it comes in Tik Tok format? Bc I just made one of those.

Need to keep reminding myself to avoid getting pulled into Internet fights, especially on Twitter

When they find out I’m talking shit about them here

The worst part about legal tech is legal tech twitter

Posted a risky tweet, now just waiting for legal to reach out to me

Me: *opens Bluesky for a quick sec All of my friends from Twitter:

Full disclosure

Collecting just a few likes per skeet

Why I’m not allowed to conduct employee investigations anymore

Fuck yeah I’m recycling jokes, I’m trying to gain some clout over here ok

Meanwhile, on LinkedIn:

Just made a caption contest on Twitter, and promised to give away an invite code to whoever gets the most likes. So far the responses are absolutely hilarious. Need more invite codes so I can keep doing this.

Me when I finally got a Bluesky invite

Pretty sure AI will replace shitposters before the lawyers

Wonder how long I have to wait until it’s cool for me to promote my Substack here

They should require invite codes to join LinkedIn too

Honestly the “what’s hot” tab is too much chaos for me

Me last week: Well the next time they make a new social app I’m sure they’ll call their posts something better than “tweet” Me this week: Oh

Someone claiming to be the CEO of Bluesky just followed me. Not sure if it’s legit. I mean she doesn’t even have a blue check.

Humbled and honored to reach this milestone of 60 followers. Doesn’t matter that 57 of you are bots.

Alright we got @jdotj.bsky.social , @heyitsalexsu.bsky.social, and @lizcgil.bsky.social - the band is almost back together

Me: This app is great, wonderful experience so far. What’s that? Oh yeah I used to see that show on TV when I was a kid. Some alien or animal living in someone’s house. Why do you ask?