my worst quality is probably my impatience. not that i'm like rude if someone takes too long on something, but i simply refuse to tolerate the normal passage of time 🧘‍♂️

i'm so tired i could eat a horse

Oshawott has a sword

his prudence has paid off and we found a place we're both excited about! good vibes appreciated for the application. i'm not terribly worried, but i like to be safe

bf has been so mean to me this weekend* *reasonably and responsibly reigning me in on price range while we look for apartments

every 10 year old wanted this.

love the first step of moving: "jesus christ when did i collect all this junk and how do i get rid of it????"

i do not understand what the deal is with this new tcg pocket booster and i simply do not care to learn 😌

matching car license plates: "YARD" & "SARD"

wild claiming tylenol could cause autism. meanwhile i grew up in an ibuprofen household and turned out the way i did, so maybe let's calm it down

realized i never actually showed off the new cut

good morning and happy monday gang! gonna be making this week a good one. or else. 😤😤

currently reaching googling "how much caffeine before dangerous?" levels of sleepy

getting a haircut after work and let me tell you, i cannot wait

forgot to bring my afternoon beverage to the office and the vending machines are broken

he’s doing his best to read

trying to increase weight in my workouts, but at what cost?? (i am very sore)

no matter how often it happens, i am always supremely awkward at office small talk. like what do you MEAN i have anxiety bc a coworker from another department wanted to chat about coffee preferences?? 😭

It Only Tuesday https://theonion.com/it-only-tuesday-1819569397/

disguised as "someone who knows what a quarterly dividend is"

this is the only bitch who gets me 😤

heartbreaking: i ordered ceviche at dinner and the waiter stopped to make sure i knew it had raw fish 😭 i promise i'm cultured! i know food!

the kind of sleepy they don't write books about bc if you tried you'd stop halfway through for a lil snooze

"Be loud for America" is a great line, tbh. I can picture it on t-shirts and bumper stickers, etc.

florals? in my office outfit? it's more likely than you think

nothing more embarrassing than forgetting your badge and having to sadly slink up to the front desk and plead for a loaner guest badge 😭

the perks of having a boyfriend very good at photography 🥰

trying to declutter my apartment and clear out a bunch of stuff i don't use. millennial "but i might need it later" behavior really coming back to bite 😬

Happy Labor Day 🙂

me, if you even care

got the card from this booster i was most excited for in my second pack, today is a good day 😌

big day tomorrow and i'm trying really hard not to twist myself into knots getting nervous. like, nothing bad could happen, but it could mean really good things for me and i really want it to 😭

🚨Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are engaged.

sweaters make their triumphant return to the office outfit rotation

chill in the air as i walked into work this morning! let's fuckin goooooooo! 🎃🍂🍂🎃

bf had a migraine this morning and as soon as he started feeling better i got a headache. i know the witch is hiding somewhere!!

really emphasizing the FREAK in game freak

little cup of yogurt i love u

pulled the trigger on my next trade hardcover 🤩

sometimes i think about owning a horse. wouldn't solve any of my problems, probably would give me lots more, but also! horse! 🤠

heyyyyyy everyone, i'm back from the dead! god wanted me to tell y'all birds are gay now. yep. all of em.

i'm already awake later than i should be and this woman expects me to sit in a queue to preorder her orange sparkles for an HOUR??? 😭

thankfully i do think i lucked out with a pretty manageable case. but i still have fatigue and some brain fog and my god do i need this shit to go away. i did not sign up to live in a fishbowl 🐠

finally managed to catch covid (pretty sure for the first time ever) and hot damn. this shit sucks. symptoms came outta nowhere and it feels like i was hit by a wet bus 😖

What if there were already some sort of contest where people were able to choose between them, I wonder how that would go