Lanco mentioned!!!

Huey, Dewey, and Louie are survived by their rotted uncle Donald

Messi has scored more goals so far than Algeria, Belgium, Ecuador, Haiti, Panama, Scotland, Senegal, South Africa, and Turkiye combined.

Trying to imagine a French tourist group booking the Hoagie Room at Beddia tonight after the World Cup match and only coming up with comically stereotypical visions of feigned gustatory scorn and a laughably dispassionate arousal

thinking warmly this Father’s Day morning of the volunteers I saw at Pride yesterday who were tossing Nerf footballs to queer kids. highlight of the weekend:

Lancaster Pride was a beauty today

It’s Bob Vila’s 80th birthday today, and I think this is a beautiful gift

for better or worse, this game is why I am who I am. like an origin story for the 865th most popular Avenger

"Scotland invades Fenway Park" oh so they can see the Jays sweep the Sox? and remind the Scots how they betrayed Nova Scotia and Canada? go drink another keg of Dirty Water (sam adams boston lager)

him getting smaller and smaller as he approaches it until it becomes clear he could open the handle with his teeth is the funniest perspective trick I've ever seen

Hey Central PA: don't look at the subhed and guess which town did this. No, you won't need a second guess!

LCDS is being sued, righteously, by the teenage girls subjected to AI deepfake nudes by their peers. The suit also lists the two boys (who received only a few hours of community service, no apology) and their parents. www.documentcloud.org/documents/28...

CLETUS SAFARI COMES TO FRUITVILLE PIKE! LANCASTRIANS, THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

Next you're going to tell em that drinking's bad for me like I don't know that from the way it makes me feel the next day. I do it anyway because it feels good. Grow up and make unhealthy choices like an adult occasionally instead of optimizing your body.

Their food is so unreal that Meg wanted to go there the day before her sinus surgery last year just in case they permanently fucked up her sense of smell and she’d never have a good meal again

don’t know if it’s WIDELY enjoyed but eggplant is ass. everyone out there gonna say “buh wuh bout eggplant parm” listen guy, if you gotta Sheetzify your food to make it edible, it ain’t worth it

probably just a couple big rigs returning UFC 250 claw parts back to Tait hit a pothole or somethin

Homemade Lancaster chicken pot pie is undefeated

People on here have been negatively polarized against gifted programs (self-flagellation?) but damn if I didn't meet lifelong friends *directly from* skipping a grade and starting gifted classes with a very talented, caring teacher. Anyway, thanks to Ms. Fike, wherever you are.

Listen to Lauren Rotatingsandwiches, folks

Wu Tang Clan playing at halftime for Game 4 is inspired. "Protect Ya Neck" feels never more appropriate than when Wemby, a man built from neck, is in the building

I know we joke about "but the price of eggs was just too high" as the meta for the 2024 election, but....what if...

There are lovers you forget and sandwiches that haunt you for the rest of your life.

the heroic Blue Jays win against the dastardly Phillies and all is well for one more night

Insane drama happening right now in Peruvian politics! en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2026_Pe...

me watching this OT Stanley Cup Final game in a hotel bar surrounded by dads whose daughters have just wrapped (??) a debutante ball (????)

anyway, fuck FIFA

Here’s a question I have for Dallas: where are all the people?

I am on E. 6th in downtown Austin and no one seems to notice or care that the Longhorns just swept rival Texas Tech to win the softball championship?????

Just stopped at my first Buc-ee’s. This probably would blow the mind of an average person unaccustomed to eating a gas station, but we hardy Pennsylvanians are inoculated, and even strengthened, by such behaviors

Raw milk is a lot like normal milk, if you kept it in open-top containers in the men's room at Heinz Field

it is dollar dog night in Houston so we’re all already winners

would not recommend flying a plane into this, as I have just experienced

please enjoy this assortment

Was Andrew Berry listening to the Ramones or something when he decided on that trade package for Garrett? A second, Verse, same as a first?

RALLY ROUND THE FAMILY

easy to say that when you have millions of peers reviewing your product every day, but not all of us have access to the NYPD

lol this is in violation of the ethics code of Lancaster gotdang Pennsylvania, let alone the Emoluments Clause of the U.S. Constitution. they're just letting the Twilight Zone Boy wish for anything he wants lest he turn them into a jack-in-the-box!

A Q to any Canadian followers: do you refer to Kraft Dinner as such even if it’s homemade? Does it turn into macaroni and cheese then?

Forgot I have to attend an event where Malcolm Gladwell is the speaker. Should I ask him if he still thinks Koreans are culturally dispossessed from being good pilots?

lol the local comments when this was being built off 501 were so unbelievably precious. "maybe it's a new welcome sign for Lititz" sure Mabel, that's what it is, an 80-foot structure sponsored by the Lions Club

Very funny to have Smashing Pumpkins performing at the Salesforce AI conference (I'm just assuming because it's in Chicago???) You're absolutely right, the world is not only a vampire—it's also sent to drain. Here's why you're like old Job:

A friend of mine who was TA’ing for an AmLit course found a copy of Moby Dick a student had left behind. It had only one marginal annotation, around page 100, that simply said “whale is important.”

You can tell 12 Monkeys is a fictional story when a “Philly” cab driver mentions that the “thruway” is shut down when Brad Pitt’s eco-terrorists release zoo animals. I sure hope someone got fired for that blunder.

I see the heroic and lovable Blue Jays are once again trouncing the bumbling baseball Magoos of Pittsburgh. Carry on, then.

just clip the lapel mic on you stop holding your dumb little mic for your dumb little videos free your hand, free your soul

Not wading into bacon discourse but broadly I do believe this country's mass-market restaurants and hotels all overcook the bacon and undercook the scrambled eggs

If anyone reading this by chance has a copy of the Original Magazine vol. 2 (University of Pittsburgh, 2008) that has my interview with Gregg Gillis in it, I will Venmo you $10 for it

Going to Lancaster PA for Churning Man

going to switch up the prompt slightly and introduce myself with ten bands/artists I've seen *for work* The Who The Doobie Brothers Halsey Slipknot Drake Coheed and Cambria Florence and the Machine Mary J. Blige Billy Corgan Father John Misty