On the weather app, days where there is a small chance of overnight rain but it will otherwise be sunny during waking hours should not be represented by the little rainy cloud thumbnail. Bad for morale.

The To-Lotto Maple Leafs. (shut up, don’t care, this is so funny and great for me, Pennsylvania’s one and only Leafs Boy)

Dutch is just not to be taken seriously

with a guillotine!!!

Stop making video podcasts, tbh. Those are just videos, not podcasts. The whole point of podcasts as a medium is that it is an on demand audio format.

The problem with Futurama is that Philip J. Fry is likely too smart to represent 21st century America

America's foremost intellectual

fried rice, while delicious in theory, has never existed and cannot be made by human beings. it requires rice to be pre-made and refrigerated in advance and we as humans lack the capacity to plan that far ahead. in the future, computers may be able to help us do this

Megan Thee Ohio Stallion University

"Hail Mary?" Coach chuckled. "Not 'round these parts."

anti-shoplifting, anti-smoking, Bluesky is working hard never to be adopted by the French

Just heard there were 30+ mph winds for Sick New World in Vegas last weekend, and I cannot imagine a) standing in a dust storm for a festival and b) how annoyed all of the audio guys were at trying to keep that sound in phase

shoutout marisa tomei

*jon bois voice* watching politics

Even as a critic who has tried to write about MJ’s legacy with nuance and grace, I appreciate the clarity the director of Leaving Neverland brings to the table

every hip check is the same as a drone strike to Matt. stop laughing! stop laughing at War Crimes on Ice!!!

$13.09 + $40 ($1 x #40, WVU's best placekicker ever). H2P baby suck it forever McAfee

"Porkin' Across America" remains one of the funniest hours ever produced. "It's times like these I thank God I'm not an observant Jew" and "You ever have pig's blood? I used to hate it, but now, mmmm" maybe the 38th and 15th funniest lines

Living in a world where the Philadelphia Keystones are hosting the Pittsburgh Crickets

Which is funnier, Tim Allen saying More Power and then doing the Jabba the Hutt laugh, or Jabba the Hutt talking in Huttese and then making the Tim Allen noises

not a wild fan of F+tM (I only know the hits) but she 1000% earned the torch from Stevie Nicks for “vibrato witch” for arena shows. great production, super-invested crowd

Jake Mangum spots kid in the crowd, tosses the ball, and her brother catches it and gives it to her. Dudes rock.

posting this again because I stress to you it will make your soul 10% lighter

Uff doesn't undersell this. I think this might be the best thing written all year. It's definitely got me thinkin' bout those breads

I am furious no one told me about the (permanently sold-out) Homer Party Sub Phillies hat

Grant Wolfram should wear No. 74

you can close out of this app anytime. you have the capabilities and motivation to do so. it's for the best. RT for awareness

re Geese/Wired: Now, is Cam Winter of our Diss Content?

My coworkers never should have introduced Angine de Poitrine to me. Now I fervently believe every band should dress like Harlequin monsters and play music best described as "video game level where the left side of the screen is disappearing rapidly." Talking (Paper) Heads. Shove Montreal. Slipdot.

the STRANGLEHOLD this had on my childhood pantry

this is doubly crazy because I doubt the president can even draw a clock rn

PBS is one of the best Poasters around and that's with Jeff Capel "cooking." Can you imagine the power if Pitt were ever good at anything

Scott Weiland voice: "I am I am I am, I said I'm gonna get red on you, wouldn't want to have to eat it too"

now would be a great time for the fourth-dimensional stalk aliens to commune with a frazzled but determined linguist

Not for nothin but I don't think "horse error" should slip by unnoticed. These equine goofballs out there just making mistakes, causing car crashes lancasteronline.com/news/local/h...

happy 30th birthday to Pitt alum Jack Stauber, creator of the best 30-second earworm

This is the only day you can play this banger (just kidding, you should make it your alarm clock)

“Take thy shoes from out thy sale, and take thy form from whence thou born!” Quoth the Baby: “Never worn.”

I tried to wake my wife with a gentle, “It’s time to get up and provide value to your employer!!!” and she was so rude to me

moby-dick, his eyes enormous: from hell's heart you STAB at moby? for hate's sake you spit your last BREATH at moby? oh! oh! the great shroud of the sea for ahab! the great shroud of the sea rolling on as it rolled five thousand years ago!!!!

happy he zhi wu day

Fat Head's on Carson was the 1st place I went after transferring to Pitt (well, 2nd, after the Quality Inn on Zulema since I didn't yet have housing). It was my 18th birthday and I ate 18 wings to celebrate. Dad let me have some of his beer. Very bummed to see that, once more, nothing gold can stay.

Anyways if you’re in the Lancaster or berks area, I am throwing a whole entire fair about how you gotta Go To Stuff called The Stuff To Do Fair! You can rsvp here. It’s totally free!! April 26, 1-4 pm 🫶🏽 www.eventbrite.com/e/northern-e...

new GY!BE album when

laughing at this phony static ad I never noticed from the OG 17776 landing page

Also, happy REAL Opening Day (Blue Jays play today)