Overheard in the prescription pick-up line: “A vulture walks onto an airplane with two dead raccoons. The stewardess says ‘I’m sorry, sir, but you can’t have more than one carrion.’”

A Single Man, which _begins_ with ‘bury your gays’ and then continues with ‘Colin Firth will make you ugly cry until you can’t breathe.’ Incredibly good but, uh. It’s a lot. I ended up writing a fix-it story for Yuletide the following year.

No luck with Taskmaster tickets - looks like everything sold out in the piss-ass organized presale yesterday. If anyone local ends up with a spare or two, lmk. In the meantime I will mourn and resume my obligatory capitalism.

Near and far, near and far I am happy where you are

New iPhone update hideous and annoying, water wet, bears shitting in woods, etc.

I’m gonna need the weather to simply increase its digits, please and thanks.

Just came soooo close to saying ‘motherfucker’ during a vendor training before I remembered I wasn’t muted. 😬

"Sometimes I worry about a society shaped by superheroes rather than muppets" is a sentence I just found in my book draft.

“Oh no, are you gonna shush me now, lololol?” 🙄 Or, if I go more specific with my initial introduction, it’s “Aren’t lawyers the worst???” (They’re really mostly just people, alas.)

“Now you see me, now you—“

we are supposed to get 1 trillion inches of snow this wknd -- please enjoy a 15% off coupon code STAYCOZY at roomofonesown.com to encourage you to stay home and browse our website (and brand new holiday cat-alogggg) from the comfort and safety of home! roomofonesown.com/catalog/2025...

Hey friends, who wants to pose for me?

Introduce yourself with five concerts you’ve seen— Fall Out Boy Arlo Guthrie Wardruna The Eagles The New Pornographers

Tryna watch some Dropout post-pie but it’s buffering AF - presumably all the nerds in the US are avoiding their racist family members by hiding in the laundry room and watching old Game Changer episodes. I wish you luck.

Friends can I give you a hot fucking tip which is cater your thanksgiving. Because we ordered a dinner for two, precooked, all you gotta do is heat it up, and omg it was fantastic. Includes gravy and cranberry sauce. Stick it on a fancy plate and light a candle and it’s like you’re classy.

Grateful for all of you, pocket friends. Getting through the world is a lot easier with y’all in it.

Alright fellow absolute deviants, what are we writing and posting on Thursday? www.tumblr.com/dduane/80094...

I am a calm ocean.

The words “hmm, actually, this is a plot hole in the Star Wars universe…” coming out of your brain are an inescapable sign that you must stop and Go Do Something Else. I’d go touch grass except it’s 9 pm and I’m in my pjs.

I smell an IgNobel Prize winner

Just messaged tech manager with ‘yo’ and he messaged back ‘oh no’ 😂😂😂

I have just learned the acronym STABLE (Stash Acquired Beyond Life Expectancy) in reference to craft supplies, and it is so rude of the English language to call me out like that

If anyone wants a strong cocktail in Boston I have a rec.

This might be an unpopular opinion but what this baby seal is doing is very special to me, personally.

I could try to accomplish something sensible tonight or I could go home and hydrate and watch some people play a stupid video game.

Aaaaaand restaurant table overbalanced and I spilled wine all over the damn place. Such a graceful motherfucker.

Okay so like, SHOULD I see Eraserhead or am I just in a weird film place?

Must revise email to my boss so it doesn’t say ‘if you make me do this I will lose my mind.’

Misread Lyft driver’s name in the app and greeted him as ‘Merlin’ instead of ‘Metin.’ 🤦🏼‍♀️ At least I’m _aware_ of how middle class white lady I am?

Took A to see Bladerunner tonight and a) oops I forgot some of the really visceral violence but b) damn it really is a fascinating fruit cobbler of a movie.

Every time I read a Poirot mystery I find myself wanting to punch Hastings in the face more and more.

Friends, where do you go to buy CDs that isn’t Amazon? Local Boston would be great but I’d take an online place if it’s not evil.

Overheard on subway platform, from person with suitcase to person without: “How did you pack all your stuff in one backpack? Do you HAVE skincare??”

My friends, I ask you kindly to tag your politics posts.

Me answering the phone to coworker: “Hey, happy Monday.” Coworker: “Ummm, how are you doing?”

I’ve created my voting lists for both City Council and School Committee! I get a gold star! If anyone talks to me about third grade algebra or the politics of the bike lane on Garden Street in the next 48 hours I shall scream!

With ranked choice voting between 11 people there IS a certain point where you just gotta do it on vibes.

@cnoocy.bsky.social I’ve had Hoobastank stuck in my head all damn day and I know exactly who to blame.

Waffles eaten, it is time to return home and begin the depressing process of determining which of the 20 city council candidate chucklefucks I’m going to vote for. Keep me in your thoughts.

Someone in the waffle place is describing how “What’s My Line?” worked to a bunch of college students.

Have just seen a man on a dinky motorcycle with a white sidecar. In sidecar, buckled in, a grey-mottled dachshund. Sadly was not fast enough to get a picture, but today will forever be a good day.

YouTube has a lot of great karaoke tracks, including a bunch of really obscure songs you won’t find in most places. This is the best one m.youtube.com/watch?v=LPJI...

Highlight of karaoke night so far is a rendition of Hoobastank’s The Reason that had one audience member raising a phone flashlight.

Get you a woman who spontaneously looks up academic interpretations of your Yuletide canon.

I know it’s not reasonable to be mad at myself for failing to anticipate all the ways a state government data entry system might be shitty but dammit, I like being the wizard who anticipates things!

Today hard day, dealing with a miscommunication with A that is making me have feelings, angry at coworker The Dbag and at boss for not doing anything about it which makes more work for me except that the thing he should be doing would make more work for me so ugh. Tired.

I heard Subway was hiring too...

Yuletide assignment matched on ‘I probably won’t get matched on this but it would be a fun challenge’ so anyway this will certainly be a challenge! Must re-imbibe canon shortly.

Words the NY Times Spelling Bee unexpectedly won’t accept: FLOOF

this headline hums with ancient autumnal dread