Be careful out there!

Today I'm interviewing Andy Samberg and the man whose penis they used to stand in for Willem Dafoe's in Antichrist. Quite the day.

When I'm on trial for murdering a dozen people, it will be because I wrote a piece for an American website and they asked me to file an invoice.

Feeling blessed. Thank you, guys, for following me on my fitness journey. #fitnessmotivation #blessed #gym #gymmotivation #gyminspo #workout #workout #fit #fitness #exercise #sausages

Feeling blessed. Thank you, guys, for following me on my fitness journey. #fitnessmotivation #blessed #gym #gymmotivation #gyminspo #workout #workout #fit #fitness #exercise #sausages

IMPROV. OXFORD. WEDNESDAY. www.ticketsource.co.uk/atomic-wasp-...

World's first trillionaire, you say? www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNc5...

Been running a murder mystery improv night for ten years. Here's the last London show, featuring @rosieisaholt.bsky.social, @edwardscrivens.bsky.social, Tom Skelton, and me old m8 Joel Gatehouse. It's gooooood. www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GKE...

It's happening. I'm starting a character comedy night, in London, in 2026. If you're someone who wants to do SOLO CHARACTER COMEDY - not sketches; not stand-up - slide me a DM.

At last, a sketch we can ALL relate to.

How did no one at the Times notice that Micah’s dick was out in this pic

Goddamnit

At last, a sketch we can ALL relate to.

Playing a demon barber on the Blenheim Palace Halloween Trail, I realise I’m playing it as a Cockney version of my Captain Hook, really. But am I having a fabulous time? Yes. Yes, guilty as charged.

I have a strange career. It's sort of hard to describe. I loved trying to get into it all for this gorgeous podcast - Drewling Samantics. LOOK HOW HANDSOME THEY'VE MADE ME LOOK. drewlingsamantics.buzzsprout.com/1696714/epis...

If adults behaved like babies.

If adults behaved like babies.

What does a karate burglar do? just karate, why?

*Charlotte and Emily Brontë:* "He has no clue which one of us is which."

It's toniiiiiiiight! Tom Skelton as detective, and @rosieisaholt.bsky.social, @ruthbratt.bsky.social, and @edwardscrivens.bsky.social as suspects in the murder investigation of PHIL PRIBBINS. It's our LAST. LONDON. SHOW. wegottickets.com/event/676413

Ran a half-marathon in 95 minutes today. Yes, I'm quite proud because that's THREE MINUTES FASTER THAN I DID IT TEN YEARS AGO.

For 10 years I've been running the best improv murder mystery gig around. On Wednesday, our London life comes to an end - how appropriate. To celebrate, we've got @rosieisaholt.bsky.social, @ruthbratt.bsky.social, Tom Skelton, & Ed Scrivens. Oh MAMA it's gonna be good. wegottickets.com/event/676413

I'm watching Mad Men at the moment and I absolutely cannot stand it. Repulsive bunch of arseholes, all smoking 8,354 cigarettes an episode. But why - why?? - do I find these arseholes more unwatchable and less fascinating than the Sopranos arseholes? ...Anyone felt similarly?

👨‍🍳💋

If you can spare any money - hello - I'm running a half-marathon this weekend for an extremely worthy cause. www.justgiving.com/page/ralph-j...

Fuck off Kate. You have a nanny for grown children, cleaners, don't have a job, assistant, personal hairdressers, and are loaded. You know what does damage family life more? Poverty. Put your literal money where your mouth is then I may take you seriously.

Overlooked yet again.

10 years today I started as a staff writer at ShortList, where I visited about five different counties and profiled people like Paul Rudd, Jack Black and Mark Rylance. Just the most astonishing job, full of joy every day. Changed me life, m8. What a time.

This article manages to name her husband before it names… her.

Sean Bean, ladies and gentlemen.

Annoooooouuuuuuncement: we have the fabulous @rosieisaholt.bsky.social at our final ever London Criminal. That is a STONKING lineup because it also includes @ruthbratt.bsky.social, Tom Skelton, and Scrivens. Come see us off in style, BABY! wegottickets.com/event/676413

Sean Bean, ladies and gentlemen.

My favourite Barry Cryer story is his account of Nicholas Parsons asking Ross Noble who his favourite comedian was. "Richard Pryor" Noble replied, "Genius! So sad he set himself on fire while freebasing crack cocaine". Parsons, visibly upset, asked Barry later: "did you hear about Richard Briers?"

Absolute beaut of a piece. www.newyorker.com/magazine/202...

man, it sure would be cool if 223 of you downloaded the latest episode of noncensored, our very silly, fully-independent satirical improvised character comedy show that's been nominated for best comedy at the arias in the past, by the end of today. or if one of you could download it 223 times.

Me, turning up to the funeral of an editor: Hello. Just wondering if you were...interested in that pitch at all-?

Got to play a cracking weirdo in this one!

Jimmy Carr? An arsehole? Surely not. www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio...

editing this was a bugger but well worth it, because @rufushound.wtf is a funny, funny man please listen to our silly satirical aria-nominated* podcast Podfollow.com/NonCensored *2023 but it still counts

Mad. Found out today that one of the original auditionees for The Spice Girls was also called Melanie C. There was a brief moment, in other words, where three-fifths of the people in the band could have been called Mel B or Mel C.

John Lennon was THIRTY when The Beatles split up. Fucking HELL.

If you look very closely, you can see that this is me playing a swan. It's true that swans are being snatched from the Royal Parks - but it's not migrants doing it...it's someone else...

sometimes satire is just asking someone to pretend to be a swan, you know?

I love planning what I'm going to do in improv scenes, ultimately ruining the point and the joy of the entire exercise.

New headshots have come back. I have to be honest: they’re absolutely fucking shit.

I am not shy to say when I disagree with Sadiq Khan. But I also think it's important to say out loud when other politicians get it right. This is exactly what the leader of a diverse and vibrant city like London should say. Thank you Sadiq.

Little glimpse at our future here.

"When it comes to science, I don't side with anybody." Brilliant. What a brilliant mind.

"The school is named after the Astronomer Royal who first identified Uranus. Today, its most famous graduate is Lily Phillips, the OnlyFans star who recently offered subscribers the chance to “go in [her] back door”. dispatch-media.com/inside-the-o...

Hello. I've been running an improvised murder mystery night called Criminal for 10 years. On October 15, we are hosting our last ever London show. Genuinely, it's one of the most fun nights out imaginable, and we'd love to see you there. Absolutely banging cast. wegottickets.com/event/676413