seeing some posts about Loli porn. I think if you're into that, if you're discovered to have any of it, you should be drafted into the US Marines. Infantry. No chance to be any other MOS. Deployed whether you pass the PRT or not. Bye.

I think anyone with a knicks ticket tonight knows there are more important things to be doing than watching the game 🫡

Swan Boy -> Ray Rona -> Roast Beef Noel -> Pat (this a thousand times, without this the comparison is really lazy) Cassie -> Molly ? Octopus guy -> Lyle ? Showbiz -> Todd ? I'm too lazy to think about this anymore, I should be working

Once Elon Musk did an apperance at a Dave Chapelle show in San Francisco and was booed so fiercly that colleagues called the cops for a wellness check and if New York doesn't out-do that tonight, then what are we even doing here.

Was playing this on the way home from the grocery store with the family and my wife said it sounded like “vampire music” (complimentary) m.youtube.com/watch?v=l1Uy...

Hambreeze Middleston

That’s right

Someone needs to get rid of this guy. Get him off the internet. Scrub it. Wipe it. Banned for life.

Anyone remember that “Space lord mother fucker” song? If you’re hearing about it for the first time, you might think it’s some Powerman 5000 shit. But it’s not, it’s by a man named Space Lord, and that’s what his parents named him.

Preemptive post:

Playing Marathon during the free week and I'm liking it more than I thought I would. But also, the menu music sounds like "Days of Mars" by Delia Gonzalez and Gavin Russom. That's not a criticism. If you like the menu music go listen to that album.

More and more in my life as an adult I am asking myself the question “why are fireworks going off?”

The Craprooms

Temporarily excited for the Big Geoff Show tomorrow

Used to youtubers and podcasters taking a minute or two out of their *whatever they're doing* to talk about Nord VPN, but I was completely floored when someone posted a jokey skit in the discord that clocked in at 3:43 minutes, and that extra 1:43 on the end is a Nord VPN ad delivered in character

My job? I get paid to write internal emails to all employees, vaguely praising all of them and encouraging them to continue working hard. No one has ever studied whether my role is actually effective at anything, but I'm glad to be able to do it. Thank you for your dedication, grace, and fortitude.

when trump dies I hope his grave sets records for desecrations

wish I knew a guy named "Gabriel" so I could call him "Garbield"

*Robert Palmer voice Fiscally Irresponsible

Parading around outside the pickle factory all by myself, with a sign that says “put more olives in the hot mix” I don’t work there, I’m just mad

We need to bring back medieval torture but only for these guys

this just has me thinking about brass players trying to suck dick like they play their instruments--lips pursed as tight as possible going "pbbbt pbbt"

Forza Horizon series

So I guess if you put a mechanic in your game where the amount you heal is based off of how many enemies you hit, it just makes every game reviewer/journo go "this is a lot like Bloodborne" even if the mechanic is slightly different, and nothing else about your game feels like Bloodborne.

you ever feel like you've just witnessed someone's first AND last day on the job? Just went to a gas station I go to all the time, and saw a new guy. RANCID vibes. Tried talking to me about how he had to put printed signs on the doors and counter about reward points not working and customers asking

it is in absolutely everybody’s best interests to develop some hobbies aside from Phone

Trump: The whole time I'm saying, what is this? There's three Hugh Jackmans. Then at the end you see this tree, maybe the weirdest tree you've ever seen, huge, and then it goes to black. That's it. Ingraham: And just to be clear, this is a movie you saw. Trump: Well, I don't know.

My Neighbor Scrody

My superpower? I can eject my brain from my skull at 200 mph. But I can only do it once, so it better be for a very important reason.

incredible things are happening on tiktok

I LIVE for cozy games

Just put on Bear in the Big Blue House for my daughter and I am floored by how much this bear sounds like Rick Steves

If I had a soundboard, one of the sounds would be Jonathan Richman hollering “tonight I’ll meet you on the astral plane!”

Look at this low grade AI Bullshit. What does this improve? You made the album cover move and it looks like shit. Wow, everyone’s turning their heads to the right. BRAVO! Fuck off, give me a crisp still image of what it actually looks like. You want to improve the service? Include the liner notes.

Neighbors put out a free Orb Pedestal or whatever, come get it

Mixed up some hummus anf chili crisp and eating it with pita chips like a total piece of shit There’s like nothing wrong with that in practice, I’m just doing it piece-of-shit style

Pitching my new idea, “nachos dinner” to my friend I just made on the train

being a full time contractor for a major company is pretty cool because I don't actually work for them, so I don't have to deal with their office culture, or their little events and whatnot and working full time for them means I can ignore my actual employer 99% of the time, and I get a free laptop

the hosts of the new podcast 5'4

Shallow Gravy was not asked to perform at the Freedom 250 state fair but Dermott has some solo stuff he's been working on #VentureBros

Hell Yeah. Keith David fucking rules. Always has.

these girls called it a long time ago

oh wow here's the internal Friday newsletter email that gives me a rundown on the most popular posts on the company's Microsoft Teams social channels I can't wait to read it

The Mormons got this new thing where they let you drink beer if it’s 50% milk

Planting some dense foliage bushes in my yard in a tight horseshoe pattern so I can just walk in and take a piss in broad daylight

Sixteen years ago today, I was cruising Orlando Craigslist, and somebody had tried to post a "Horned Up!!!" ad, but they made a typo and it came out "Gorned Up!!!" Theirs went away quickly, but I replaced it with one of my own

Personally, I'm not getting excited for any lib/dem project unless it's called something like "Republican Bloodbath," or "The Impalement of Traitors" just a suggestion

Some souped up piece of shit behind the school bus was revving their engine like they’re gonna drag race the school bus. Buddy, you’re stopping again in 100 feet.

would like to finish watching Shogun. Too bad it's hosted on the worst mainstream streaming service. Do they even try to support this thing? Feels like we've reached a point where huge tech companies have dumb unfixable errors like this and just don't even bother doing anything about it.