what a humiliating way for don jr. to find out his dad sends birthday cards.

Been doing a lot of my writing at the library recently, and I'm reminded of how truly remarkable these places are, and Jesus Christ do I ever miss Shelved.

Oh girl!!!! Eatin' good this Canadian Thanksgiving!!

Hell yeah, Tropical Malady and Asako I and II!

Chris got a Crunchyroll subscription, and he's been watching explosive action and shonen shows, while I've mostly been watching BL. We are challenging traditional notions of seme and uke.

Everyone's talking about the Rizzler, whom I assume is Risley from E.M. Forster's MAURICE, that deliciously chatty fop!!!!!

Just watched The Lion King and saw how Scar was struggling. I wanted to yell at the stage, "Baby, you don't need to pretend you need a queen - be your OWN queen! You live in a gay steam bath with hyena go-go dancers, and that is your truth! Smash the heteronorms of the dynasty! You are seen, bb!"

Have we talked about Sex Education season 4? Because that was a bad season, yeah? Am I alone in thinking this?

At brunch and a group of young millennials are talking about the gameshow "Uh-Oh" but they don't even remember "It's Alive" smh

New glasses, new haircut, new orthotics, new computer, new CPAP mask & hose - got me feelin' like:

Wish me luck 🤞🏿

Man, I've got Darshen mania.

Karaoke but for old Simpsons episodes.

I don’t mean to brag or toot my own horn – because most of the time I feel like I "don’t got 'it'” – but today I forced myself to list my accomplishments, creative and professional, over the last couple years, and, for the briefest moment, I felt… really proud of myself.

In my grade 6 history textbook, the artwork in the chapter on the Olympics included old paintings depicting nude men flexing and competing, only edited so they were wearing thin black briefs, but I figured it out, and anyway 26 years later I have a B.A. in Classics.

dating app for twains to meet

Can't decide if coffee shops now calling them "Canadianos" is entering "freedom fries" territory, or

Another one of my favourite - I will be delicate here - Adult Film Performers has come to Toronto and he has just been spending all his time eating in Scarborough restaurants and that is a bigger turn-on than the p*rn he has done?

Love using "as it were" even when I know it literally were.

Choose 20 books that have stayed with you or influenced you. One book per day for 20 days, in no particular order. No explanations, no reviews, just covers! 1/20 Watership Down by Richard Adams #booksky #bookchallenge #20bookchallenge

Every morning I wake up to the nightmare that America exists.

*Terminator hands you a collection of Joan Didion's nonfiction writing* "We tell ourselves stories in order to live if you want to live."

Hate when the crossword clue is something smug and vague like, "Hmmm, they daren't, dare they? 😏"

I feel like the expression "dogwhistle" oughtta be retired and replaced with "racist hog call"

Baldur's Gate 3 is kinda genius because the only way you can get laid is if you learn Dungeons and Dragons first.

I find myself stuck writing an idea I've lost all confidence in, but have to complete. I can't wrap my head around what it's trying to say, and it's become this albatross around my neck. It's sapped my confidence. Any writers dealt with this before? More just looking for assurance.

Probably shouldn't have gone on twitter dot com right before I checked my blood pressure

The existence of France Gall implies the existence of Canada Audacity.

Hit snooze not because I was sleepy but because I was dreaming about an argument and didn't want him to have the last word.

[handing a picture of a very healthy person to my doctor] so I was thinking something like this

Putting together my sexy playlist (just the opening theme song of "For Better or For Worse")

I'm sure I'm missing something, but it feels like the whole Republican strategy to ruin Joe Biden's reputation via association with Hunter is to expose the President as someone who... loves his son

Twitter broken as hell today

Maybe I should get back into stand-up. Can anyone tell me what advances have been made in "tops be like this, bottoms be like this" comedy?

I keep thinking I'll be fine without Vyvanse, but then I take it and can literally read *BOOKS* and write *SENTENCES* and what the *FUCK*???

Ten films to get to know me: Happy Together Tropical Malady Nope Blade Runner Royal Space Force The Rocky Horror Picture Show Hedwig and the Angry Inch Phantom of the Paradise A Brighter Summer Day Funeral Parade of Roses

Not quite sure what to post on here yet, as I'm still too new to post my brand of tragicomic self-effacement, so I'll start with something simple and corny: [To the tune of Aerosmith's "Don't Wanna Miss a Thing"] MAN COVERED IN CHERRY JELLY: ... 🎶And a doughnut's a messy thiiiiing🎶

Nice to be here! Here's what I look like! I'm a Toronto-based TV comedy writer & performer!