Was it a business association? A lobby group? A labour union? A reguatory branch of government? What exactly did the Lollipop Guild do?

if elected i promise the floor WILL be lava

exciting news: it seems i'm almost finished setting up my pc

Jimmy's a bitch for returning

I think I finally no longer like comedy or comedians.

I believe the world is flat in certain areas.

long ago, there was a little girl who loved gersbermps, and her name was ermagerd

Sleep well on your estate tonight @shamas.bsky.social The help have been duly reprimanded for their transgressions

Decided to live by the sword. Fingers crossed!!!

ACAB includes these two

i had a dream where i started using the word "merk" a lot

*car crash* surgeon: i can't operate on my son nurse: wait why not? operate on your son! holy shit

how were millennials supposed to buy houses when they were always throwing up in their mouths a little

if i hear one more x is like if you drew y from memory joke i'm going to throw victor off the roof of absolute

oh yay yay yay i get to do one of these! ok ready? ahem: i NEVER liked snoop dog! 💕💕💕

I have decided to inspire all of you losers

I tried listening to music and let's just say no thanks

acab includes the boyfriend who's back

acab includes lifeguards

ugh the way gen zs just stare at you when you ask them the dumbest thing ever

dog people just want unconditional love from a weapon

When someone likes me for who I pretend to be and not for who I really am, that is such a fucking win.

She's a 10 but 10:30 in Newfoundland

I can't explain it but as someone born in 1975 I feel like I shouldn't have to hear a song from the '60s ever again

Thinking about dinner, deciding between Fat Shithead Burritos, Fuck You Burger, or Why Are You Like This? Korean Fried Chicken

of all the euphamisms in the world, the "productive" cough has to be number one

I can't solve every problem and I'm not very articulate so unfortunately I have to specialize. If you are anti-Indian or anti-trans please contact me so we can fistfight in the alley of your choosing. [email protected]

22 year old coworker was picking something to play on spotify and asked me if I like Nickelback. So of course I laugh and say no and was so surprised! Like he couldn't imagine

This guy was telling me I HAVE to visit Costa Rica, great vibes, great parties, beautiful bitches everywhere. I was taken aback until I realised he said beaches.

thinking about taking umbrage with something

me: i need a guided meditation to relax guided meditation: relax me: ah yes

avant-garde antacid made of saltwater called Brine Eno

what level does second city teach you to place your fists on your chest to make it look like you're wearing a backpack

a snack for junglists called almond break

Someone threw garbage on me today but don't worry it wasn't personal; she was throwing garbage all over the place

all i know about air conditioning is it's a hot as hell 21°C outside, while remaining a cool, fresh 23° inside

I'm out here begging comedians to stop holding the mic by the button that disconnects the cable. 90% of a microphone is the handle, hold it by that.

I had plans for tomorrow that I was so excited about but they fell through and now I'm so excited

one may surmise a robot's favourite meal is beep boopguignon

i know the top of my foot like the back of my hand

of all the balls you could come in like, you chose wrecking?

my family wants to have brunch at pickle barrel so i'm thinking of going non-contact

well, it happened i shazam'd a song and it was harry styles

people should be their true selves accept who YOU are *except

a bubble tea party is a boba fête

your mom 🤎

benjamin entertainment hana

recorder groupies are called hot cross bunnies

imagine you and all your buddies die in a storm and everyone is like wow The Perfect Storm

It’s very weird when transphobes try and throw me scare stories about what trans women would like to do to me when I literally have trans friends and we mainly talk about films and people we think are dickheads.