Ah! Well. Nevertheless,

Told my partner that when I go I want to be burned or buried in my Frank Reynolds hospital gown lying face down with my arse out in an open casket

Just apologised to a ladybird for calling it a fucking idiot when it got stuck on its back but then cleverly recovered by briefly opening its wings to push itself back over

Absolutely do not give a flying fuck about that perverted posh cunt

Just been bollocked by a male blackbird we are so back

What if I put creatine on this pizza what then

Every time a new person arrives from twitter

Ryvita being horny on main is it

Millennials will literally get a full sleeve of tattoos and enquire about adult beginner gymnastic classes rather than go to therapy

Absolutely delighted to announce that I made 16p before tax on redbubble yesterday so never stop dreaming ✨❤️🥂🤑🙏

Feel free to use this image of trifle if you need to upset an Italian

Abolish years

If you get married in England this is where you have to consummate it otherwise it doesn’t count and you’re killed for treason

Asking the manager of the spar to bar me so that I can't buy maoam pinballs 4 days a week after the gym anymore

Oh him? No that’s just Misogyny Dave, he’s actually a good leftist and a great comrade. Yeah everyone likes him and all his ex girlfriends said nothing bad to me, his best friend, when I asked them about it while he was, oh, several feet away.

Petition for someone to pay for me to travel to Ireland to see their remaining gigs of 2025 and also arrange for me to be in the sticky pit at the front so I can bounce around and get sparked the fuck out for being engl*sh

FUCKIN KNEECAPS ELECTRIC BOOGALOO 2 FURIOUS

Just met god (had a butty from tib street ad maiora)

FUCKIN KNEECAPS

Is this a Cold Sore Stevens thing

FFS was going to do maximum adhd respecting but doesn't even arrive in time for the big day

They should do a remake of the gunpowder plot where the other guys win

The problem with listening to lots of kneecap while learning Irish is that I don't yet know how to introduce myself but do know how to politely ask for a small bag of ketamine

The cure to being very very tired is bouncing round the internet on your phone for several hours in bed

every day is vacillating between everything matters too much and lol nothing matters

white house has joined bluesky click here to block all official us government accounts instantly bsky.app/profile/did:...

It's yer fella with the nike air shoes

How to mute Starmer's stupid ham face

Good

Not on commission or anything but if you fancy contributing to the survival of an endangered language it is currently free with Mango (I'm giving Irish a spin)

No advertisement has ever been as effective as this advertisement I have never used a synth but now own thirty Orchids

Talking in Avril Lavigne lyrics over on upscrolled and you're telling me bluesky is better??

If you have accepted my upscrolled follow request but opted not to follow me back I am slagging you off so hard on there rn to my enormous audience of 28 people lmao owned

Can't even be arsed trying to figure out what's happened on here so I've simply joined upscrolled instead just tell me on there or whatever idk

Oh my god there are things to do today can there not be a day without things it's just not on

The bees have discovered Brutalism

Any engl*sh person who retains rhotic rs should be given the choice to opt out of being ruled by and considered engl*sh if they so wish

Rethinking this

Oh millennials aren't cringe? Explain why I just used the phrase "it was a meme before the internet" while talking to my oldest child then

Me: The other guy in the yard: Me: Other guy: Me: Third guy (walking up): Me: Other guy: Third guy: Me: You here for the-- Other guy: Milkshake yeah Third guy: Yeah the milkshake Me: Yeah

In light of today's news I would like to reiterate that

Hello insomnia my old friend I've come to scrap with you again

autism: hey guys... guys... GUYS LISTEN - you need to know everything about this new thing adhd: ok but what about that thing? or that other thing? holy fuck there are so many things dyspraxia: ... we need to, right, hang on a sec just... sorry what? i don't get it can you say that again

DM if you look like this xx

Has this freezing cold relentless large piss rain considered shutting the fuck up and fucking the fuck off just a thought