I know there’s some sound tech at play here but her crescendo’s and sotto voce’s on this album are just outstandingly impressive

Me logging onto Facebook for one reason and one reason only

i hate to say it i hope i don’t sound ridiculous butttttttttttt my adderall is kicking in and i’m about to go ape shit on my tiktok shop cart

being forced to quit vaping* (it’s ruining my health) so i’m going to be even bitchier than normal *except on weekends/benders

Gwyneth Paltrow I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan

Trainer cancelled on me for second friday in a row and i’m having leftover pizza for breakfast AMA

Lapin en croûte (rabbit pot pie)+ tarte à la normande (apple tart) was tonight!

I’m using LUX as a taste // u can sit with me indicator btw

I am working with a team of scientists on creating a cigarette flavored low fat yogurt.

This is how I talk to my husband when he says “huh?”

Rest now sister. We have the kente. I'll see you in Wakanda.

As the holidays approach this is my 2nd annual bluesky reminder that Honey Labubu trades his mac and cheese recipe for A+ backshots

Me about people who aren’t Disney adults

Me about people who don’t back into parking spots

[through gritted midwestern teeth] congrats nyc

My two favorite restaurants in town (already really hard reservations) just got awarded michelin stars so im ready to jack knife off a church steeple

I hope they do a reboot of Will and Grace and replace her with Ellie Kemper

I fucking love being a hater

Glenn Close could have been in The Accused and still snagged a nomination. Jodie Foster didn’t have the emotional bandwidth to deliver the final scene of Dangerous Liaisons. Never not pissed about this snub

This is a social media app. Post or don’t post babe. This ain’t a train station we don’t need arrival and departure announcements

Update: the rebels have lowered their weapons and all is right again in pug world

Not even 48 hrs post time change and ready to give up (feed my dogs an hour earlier)

I haven’t left tyra banks hot ice cream and I think we’re letting a lot of distractions keep us from asking more questions

well

i’m obsessed with buying shit on tiktok shop like i cant stop.

well

sometimes when my adhd meds first hit, i have the urge to drop the craziest true lore stories about me and then i remember several irls know about this account and i’m like let’s put that back in the vault mmk?

Look it

Me on a random saturday morning

it’s swalloween and what are you doing today to celebrate

seine angst ist meine angst

Tipsy and blasting berghain on repeat and doing payroll. it took me 4 (four) tries to spell the surname Adams 🤭🤭

What a time to be alive (rimmed)

yeah this timeline is awful (thorn) but i am alive during the Mustache Renaissance (rose) and that’s not nothing

They gave her the tan mom special

Como de obsesionados con Berghain estamos la @jorgemorris.bsky.social y yo:

me when i watch a vampire movie:

i think oomf is smelling toast rn

Arnold Schwarzenegger in the movie Junior (1994)

5, 10, 15, 20: 🚨you are releasing f*cal matter into your sheets🚨

big booty

Vulcans have a fondness for five letter male names starting with S and ending with k, in honor of Surak, founder of Vulcan logic. Examples on screen include Sarek, Spock, and Sybok. This means that a perfectly logical and appropriate Vulcan name would be Shrek.

one attention pls

The only thing more maddening than trump cutting off trade negotiations with canada is that not one single US dem politician was smart enough to use the reagan blurb about how awful tariffs are

Yooooooo this trans woman who did 5 years in a men’s prison said not only was she in triple digits (“well into triple digits; like u could fill an entire prison dorm”), had seven men tattoo her name on their body, made several call wives and b/u ANDDDD HAVE THEIR KIDS SEND HER A MOTHERS DAY CARD 👑

Bluesky needs to find its Dr. Roberta Bobby or it’s curtains for us

It gets worse… they ozempic’d david harbour 😭