They need to start keeping news stories like this under wraps until the tell-all true crime doc is ready to be released because like I need to know everything immediately please

October feels like the only month participating in the group project

show me a man who opposes no-fault divorce and I will show you a man whose no-fault divorce is the only reason he doesn’t know what antifreeze tastes like in his morning coffee

I mean, it didn't hang itself

Prostate Cancer Has A Right To Exist. Biden's Tumor Has A Right To Defend Itself. Biden’s malignant metastatic tumor must be given everything it needs to defend itself from unprovoked attacks by radical oncologists. www.caitlinjohnst.one/p/prostate-c...

“It’s all in your head” Yes that is the issue actually

I'm so used to bar bathrooms with cutesy signs that I had to stop here and ask myself if I was a Mario or a Wario

Need these two to start a podcast where all they do is make fun of other podcasts please and thank you

He ruined everything. He even ruined April Fool's because there's nothing ridiculous I can post today that would be more ridiculous than what's actually happening.

I don’t think anyone is actually an incel. Because refusing to work on yourself is absolutely voluntary.

Looks real to me 😂

They are starting to get it

I’m actually really fun once you get to know me, which will not happen for lots of reasons, but just a big fyi for you

If anyone needs me I’ll be celebrating New Year’s Eve in my blanket fort like an adult

I'm not really a human; I'm three DSM V diagnoses in a trench coat

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think

I love how people think those little cheese knives are for serving cheese, like awwww that's cute no those are for *defending* your cheese, trust no one

Sad but true.

The first rule of might club is no yeah that sounds fun I'll totally let you know

Might be making a more permanent move to this platform in the near future

My peeves are sweaty; don't pet the sweaty things

Honesty is like garlic, everybody always says there's no such thing as too much then all of a sudden nobody wants to finish their spaghetti and I've "ruined dinner again"

Artists and creators on Meta, beware:

If anyone’s wondering what to get me for Christmas this year I’m a size 32 all expenses paid trip to a magical bookstore where the books choose me thanks so much

This July 4th, England celebrates its independence from America.