gonna pitch a show to the abc about a throuple in brunswick who run a hairdressers. it will be called "socialism or barberism"

it's crazy that there's a place in australia literally called "Bob Jane's T-Mart" and it has nothing to do with hormone replacement therapy

if you genuinely care about the brand of tinned tomatoes you use, to the point you are madposting about it anywhere, you need help

always something really gratifying to get a strident, annoying reply on reddit and check their user to see they're the most "online so much that it destroyed their brain" poster in the world

By Jane Fisher Medium Oil painting

who called it "a former australian prime minister wandering around feudal japan as a masterless samurai" and not "ronin keating"

just remembered that the main character in The Left Hand of Darkness is literally called "Genly Ai". what did leguin know

GUY WHO PRONOUNCES "ALBUM" AS "ALBUMN": hey guys wanna listen to an albumn

when we mourn le guin, we mourn one of our greatest writers & thinkers. but we also mourn one of our all-time greatest haters

bagels are an incredible food but the default toppings are just... intolerably shit. what do you have on this? oh a big fucking whack of cream cheese? some fucking salmon? CAPERS? are you insane?

"Late Evening" - my oil painting

have to wear a blood pressure cuff for the next 24 hours and there truly is a specific type of hell that is "something is on you that you cannot take off"

surely he's in the running as the worst federal nats leader?

read through the liberal party review and you really take two things away from it: - they were far, far more gentle with dutton than i expected - the libs are essentially fucked

can someone add the liberal party review of the 2025 election to goodreads? asking for a friend

listening to turnbull's autobiography and it really is striking how dutton - and through him, abbott - destroyed the liberal party purely out of a frothing hatred of malcolm turnbull. one of the most consequential rivalries in australian history

character idea - greg bibs. wears bibs. murderer.

one thing that sucks about living in the north of melbourne is that the banh mi's suck. there's good food here but your only choice for a banh mi is lukes and they're too wet

DOCTOR: I told him he needed to get out to a show, that was how he would cure his depression. CHOTINER: So you learned this technique in school? DR: No, not— listen it was good advice. Pagliacci was in town. C: Right. Is it standard to give advice before learning a patient’s name? DR: Now look

Let's remember Judith Collins for that time Danyl performed the Voight-Kampff test on her to prove it was actually her running her Twitter account.

the nats leaving shadow cabinet finally lets some of the backbench libs move into the spotlight to shine. here's a few of the new faces: - racist small business owner - small business owner (racist) - free market fanatic (owns a racist small business) - sock with face drawn on (leadership potential)

carney has drunk a fuckload of red cordial and decided to simply end the rules based world order as a farce. love to see it

mark carney's speech at davos: i have never seen a politician speak this way in my lifetime. you can see the world order shifting in real time

saw a takeaway place that advertised their dim sims by cutting them in half and showing the cross section. in the politest way possible: what the fuck is your problem?

Imagine having the entire news media, the entire opposition and a bunch of former Olympians attacking you literally non-stop for a month, and the outcome is a poll which matches your 2025 election landslide. #auspol #newspoll

first day back on the low gluten diet, had a toastie from a cafe with gluten free bread. it was only largely inedible rather than completely inedible which seems like a step in the right direction

any wallet recommendations? i have come to terms with the fact mine is gone and now i am open to being hurt again

few things have improved my quality of life more than getting my sleep schedule in order

comedy option: maduro is found not guilty in court

venezuela is being invaded by the US and abc news is showing a documentary about a bamboo bike. surely at a certain point you can cut into this

if you're a bigger guy and want to buy clothes, there are a few choices: - clothes that make you look like a shithead (lowes) - clothes that make you look like a manchild (kmart/big w) - clothes that make you look like a mormon (too many to count) - clothes that do not fit

who called it “barn full of cows that have mad cow disease” and not “cow-loon walled city”

making a new website where perverts can meet each other called kinkedin.com. you can post about... god this is not a good joke

imagine getting sent over to the midwife and someone else gets sent to the goodwife

if i have to age verify i think i will probably stop using this platform

SECONDS BEFORE THE INVENTION OF PEZ: what am i going to do with all of this slightly orange flavoured chalk?

something i apparently missed is that the price per weight of berocca is roughly equivalent to gold

cloudflare down so what

god there's really nothing like a cool change hitting before you expect it

It's become normal now for high-level political figures to argue that an entire generation was brainwashed through fake videos into mass anti-Israel political mobilization by TikTok. Complete conspiracy thinking, rooted in zero evidence, based on nothing

flounder has an unpleasant alec baldwin vibe

upset by chips

if you're the sort of person who puts coleslaw on a chicken burger i have a question for you: what is your fucking problem?

getting a text in the middle of the night and it's just my loathsome vizier saying "Your enemies lie in wait, my lord!!" what am I supposed to do with that. its four in the morning

i want to make a movie called “bad will hunting” about a janitor at a university who doesn’t know SHIT. he’s a fucking buffoon

fun new thing in windows 11: there is no calendar app! if you open it, it will simply open outlook instead. they are really trying to nuke their user experience, hey?

you've heard of The Expendables, now the australian parliament is bringing you: The Unelectables

Seen an ambulance pulling up to the hospital..i hope the doctors are ok