This is gonna sound crazy but I feel like they made that funeral a spectacle on purpose because they know a variety show would risk FCC punishment pointing out how insane it was.

Driving home & this local FM radio DJ really said "Wishing Jimmy Fallon a Happy Birthday. Let's hope he's not next on the chopping block"

What in the Civil War era love letter is this BS?

The last time a white man from Utah prayed 33 hours to see someone with darker skin make headlines in his state is when the Utah Jazz drafted Ace Bailey.

Hey, I was busy helping American citizens get much needed emergency equipment before the money that was designed to help them is taken away and used for concentration camps, so I missed the speech. I assume he still looks like a sack of shit that was hit with a bag of nickels.

My best tinfoil hat guess as to why this announcement is delayed is because it was an AI generated speech that had stuff about Chicago in it BEFORE that ruling on the illegal use of Nat'l Guard in LA, which would set a precedent for expanding any of that nonsense across the U.S.

It's likely gonna be him talking about one or more of the following: A) Venezuela B) Chicago C) Tariffs D) Something else 100% worthy of the guillotine

That Lady Gaga quote "There can be 100 people in a room and 99 of them don’t believe in you but all it takes is one..." doesn't really work for RFK Jr. when 99 of them are former CDC directors and the one person is Trump.

one thing no eighty year old man can say is “never felt better in my life”

Saw a Golden Corral commercial for the first time in forever just mere days after the Cracker Barrel logo kerfuffle and props to them for striking while the iron is hot.

nobody has seen the president in three days [burping and rubbing my president shaped tummy] that’s crazy

So no one's tried wrapping a strand of Trump's hair around a twig and snapping it yet?

give me a bag of these and you don't even have to worry about the money

For the love of GOD please don't let Sinclair take over Tegna. That would mean TWO Sinclair stations in D.C. (WJLA and then WUSA 9 if this goes through). They have made Fox 45 in Baltimore unwatchable (pictured here with standard American flag background)

I'm not saying it wasn't entertaining, but the bar is in absolute hell if the only thing we can bully the president into doing is using sentence case capitalization.

I think this is a testament to my attempts at not doomscrolling every hour of the day because I thought ppl were making a joke about the sandwich dude being part of the Deep State and not DIRECTLY QUOTING PAM BONDI.

For those of you at home that don't know DC, the streets that Republicans are "so afraid to go down because they might get carjacked and murdered" have a West Elm and Jeni's Ice Cream on it. Conservatives are wheely scawed of 2-piece mid-century modern bumper sectionals and end tables. Pathetic.

Kim Davis looks like a woman on borrowed time who believed collecting wedding rings like infinity stones would give her Thanos-like strength to reverse gay marriage.

I just saw video of FBI & DEA agents patrolling M Street in Georgetown and this has to be the biggest waste of money there since the Real Housewives of DC franchise.

If I were president my first move would be an executive order that reverses all of Trump's EOs and my second move would be an EO banning B&W celeb photos until further notice because some random IG page had me thinking Jessie Spano went home to be with the Lord.

Haven't seen this many unforced errors since his golf game in Scotland.

Just curious: What is the end game here? Pardoning her won't make this go away. Her death won't make it go away. Summer recess won't make it go away. Releasing a list that just omits Rs won't make it go away. His cankles literally and figuratively *cannot* kick this can down the road anymore.

If Venus Williams still has to play tennis to get health care then the rest of us are fucked.

The fact I saw a BRAND NEW Tesla on my street is crazy.

Look I don't like being ignorant, but for the sake of my mental health I will not be clicking on any article that mentions "micro-cations."

"Some of you are focused on getting a labubu but if you don't get right with Jesus your life will be nothing but le doo doo." --Probably some pastor this Sunday

Julie Vanloo is a better person than I am bc that would've been my villain origin story. The Bay Area would never know peace.

Bringing this over to Bsky bc why tf not?

I'd like to live in a country where the only thing we go to war over is Tiny Chef.

Can someone tell JD Vance that dogwhistles are supposed to be subtle and not one degree away from calling someone Senator Chicken Quesadilla?

He really just did a "let's circle back!" on war.

Really crazy how our country's most insane atrocities yet always seem to land at the exact time my quarterly taxes are due.

Either Ted Cruz thought he was gonna get a bunch of soft balls or he genuinely thought he'd one-up Tucker bc why would you *willingly* sign up for a beating like this? Haven't you embarrassed your daughters enough?

Wow um...the news is *really* newsing today.

That interview of Vance Boelter's roommate is giving "Guy who initially lies to detectives in 1st half of Law & Order bc he knows too much."

It took an impending world war to get CNN to stop booking Scott Jennings on their shows.

Even in our worst seasons Orioles games *still* got better turnouts than that parade.

The only time I want to hear Elon Musk say that he's "decommissioning the dragon" is when he vows to get a vasectomy and stop having kids.

(After watching Beverly Hills Cop & A League Of Their Own b2b on flight) Me: Wonder what's going on on Bsky & Twitter? ::Logs in:: Bsky & Twitter:

Whoever decided to put an &pizza in Dulles airport gets a TSA PreCheck fast lane into heaven. Absolutely criminal I get this much pizza for the price of a Hudson News parfait cup.

(Reading the Internet) Me: The head of FEMA didn't know there was a hurricane season? Mom (unfazed): That sounds about right.

We are like six months from them outlawing seatbelts.

Allow me to address the elephant in the room: The decades-long outsourcing of domestic manufacturing to China was not an insidious Chinese conspiracy for dominance but the greedy strategy of the American ruling class to explode its profit margins by exploiting global inequality.

How about my wife have full human rights before the plagiarism robot?

so many people publicly engaged in anti-human projects and then surprised when that makes them unpopular with humans!!

You would think after the way JD broke that trophy that they wouldn't let him around the damn Pope.

Is anybody else watching Deli Boys? Because it’s really funny and I feel like it should be getting more attention.

Stop making those little AI image generator memes of yourself as a Barbie or a Ghibli character you are enriching evil companies and destroying the planet and this is like one of the easiest things you can just not do