Mike Johnson has now had the House adjourned for 73 out of the last 85 days. Epstein Shutdown.

Cartoon by wolvertoon.com.

I'm starting an online boot strap shop. For only $100 - sent directly to my bank account - rural MAGA voters will get the fix they've assured us is full proof.

Tim Walz: "It's almost unimaginable that he's got Milei in there, giving him $20 billion, so that they can undercut us and China can buy their soybeans from them. And now China has learned they can replace our markets."

Topics Mike Johnson thinks are serious: - Super Bowl halftime entertainer - getting a Nobel Prize for Trump - terrifying naked bike riders Topics he thinks are not serious: - Epstein Files - domestic violence - being able to keep the govt open - the neutering of Congress

Mike Johnson, fake Christian, doesn't think a Republican congressman beating up his girlfriend is "really serious."

Ironic that a guy named Johnson is afraid of seeing penises. (Or, more likely, he's afraid of his deeply repressed desire to see penises.)

DJT: "Today I'm announcing a complete and total ban on all Muslims* entering the United States." *Except those who bribe me with a $400,000,000 747. Those Muslims will receive a military base in a U.S state with a de minimis number of electoral college votes.

Happy New Year to all who celebrate.

I would love to be part of the conversation on MSNBC related to the Kimmel story and it's chilling effects on first amendment, but unfortunately I was terminated by MSNBC for stating that "hateful thoughts lead to hateful words which lead to hateful actions".

After years of complaining about cancel culture, the current administration has taken it to a new and dangerous level by routinely threatening regulatory action against media companies unless they muzzle or fire reporters and commentators it doesn’t like.

The fact that they’re afraid of Colbert and Kimmel tells you how important mocking them is. Our megaphone certainly isn’t as large as late night hosts, but we can all do our bit.

Never has there been a wider gap in looks between an actor and the person he's portraying than Robert Redford playing Bob Woodward. Belated RIP to one of the great thespians of his generation.

I just got fired for not mourning Robert Redford enough.

I really expected farmers to have a better understanding of the whole reap-sow relationship. “'The whole thing is screwed up,' said John Painter, a three-time Trump voter who runs an organic dairy farm in Westfield. 'We need people to do the jobs Americans are too spoiled to do.'”

A whole bunch of guys named Tyler Robison should probably turn their phones off today.

But not freedom of speech? Let’s start with that loud foul mouthed freak in the WH then.

“awful people don’t deserve to be killed, but they don’t deserve to be praised, either” is apparently a thought too complex for the pundit mind

Two things that are true at the same time: 1. Violence is unacceptable. 2. Violence is the natural - and foreseeable - consequence of actions taken by the right, making it difficult to feel empathy for the the people being forced to live (or die) in the world they created.

Deeply worried that the American Troubles have begun.

They warned him not to hold the event so close to the book depository.

He was shot in the throat while answering a question about mass shootings. Cue the Alanis…

Oh, so guns *do* kill people? Gotcha.

So now we’re blowing up ships without provocation to distract from Epstein?

She seems nice... "A funeral director has been banned from working with hospitals in Leeds after a mother said she was left screaming when she found her dead baby propped up 'watching' cartoons at the woman’s home."

Donald really puts the dick in dictator.

Can we PLEASE stop interviewing children who've just lived through a shooting?

#ONEV1 #Pinks 🌸 #Voices4Victory

Insiders sitting on information so they can write a book are complicit.

Greenland is Trump's Sudetenland.

It's possible ... hear me out, here …. It may well be that these people lie their asses off whenever they exhale

They'll do anything to avoid gun control. Anything.

Florida spent $250,000,000 to inhumanely imprison immigrants in a swamp for a few month. Thank goodness Florida doesn't have better uses for that money. On top of being utterly immoral, fascism is just plain old expensive.

America has killed thousands of children to appease the blood soaked delusions of white men who imagine themselves crossing the Delaware with Washington, but actually have trouble crossing the Walmart parking lot. (1/2) #itstheguns

I can’t wait for the Big Beautiful Obituary

Schools Theaters Concerts Malls Churches Synagogues Mosques Parks Nightclubs Offices Festivals Stores Military Bases Bars Post Offices Yoga Studios Super Bowl parades Nowhere is safe from the scourge of gun violence in America. You can't tell me we must simply accept it.

RULE ABOUT AMERICAN FLAGS: If you burn the fabric part, you're looking at jail. But it you use the pole part to assault a police officer, you get a presidential pardon, praise, and some cash.

Turns out some of the “we want small government” people kiiiinda wanted the government to be just one guy.

Today would be an excellent day to release the Epstein files.

Being pro Trump is like being pro bacterial infection.