First day back at work after 3 weeks off and I might as well be dead.

I was so fucking cold outside the pub yesterday afternoon. Ah well only two weeks until the solstice.

It’s fun that every few years I need to completely relearn Japanese for a holiday, start to get comfortable, start to dream in it… and then… packed away again never to be used 👍

This is me being back in Dublin city centre after 3 weeks back in Japan.

Dublin airport is telling me they’ll deliver one delayed baggage but I’ll need to come get the other because that one turned up eventually. What the fuck…

Just landed in Dublin after a long holiday in the sun and it is why can only be described as summer suicide weather.

Got airport lounge access for the first time in my life and I just left it because Japanese airports are nicer in the common area 👍

I’m not even a smoker, but a big aura loss about Japan (as the kids say) is the post-Covid restriction on smoking. It used to be so cool and now you need to find a wee box in the corner. Boooo.

At my first proper foreigner heavy tourist site in Japan and everyone is such an animal compared to the Japanese. It’s embarrassing. Two big population countries in particular…

Just ate this fucking delicious Kobe beef

I lived in Japan 15 years ago, so what’s it like going back now it is super popular and everyone hates foreigners? Still fucking great 🍻

I’d design rockets that don’t blow up

The Japanese have a saying about relationships that roughly translates as “as strong a bond as a white woman and her matcha flavoured drink”.

Back in the rural Japanese prefecture I used to live and my wife is seeing me thrive in my natural environment (sweating profusely as I struggle with basic grammar in a 6 seater izakaya in someone’s shed)

I speak decent Japanese, but my wife thinks I can book dental procedures with 10 seconds notice like I’m ordering different yakitori skewers for us.

Went for a sunrise snorkel with my new pal Kento and we both saw a massive stingray. Nearly shat myself.

At a beach in the middle of nowhere Okinawa. All the Japanese nice and quiet and relaxing. One fucking American couple at the end of the beach projecting their shite talk for miles.

I was in an airport lounge for maybe 25 minutes and when I went back out into the common area I was disgusted by everyone.

Not the best time to be travelling to Japan with the surname ハンター (Hanta)

Should I Marry a Murderer made me embarrassed to be Scottish.

You want your patient zero to be an introverted Gen Z or millennial. Sick note for 40 days off work and food delivered by deliverWHO? Sign me up.

Maybe I’m turning into a boomer, but they should have locked those fucking cunts on that virus boat for 3 months instead of sending them all over the bastard world.

Oh yeah forgot to say I nailed it 11 years ago

Got a fun new bit on the go where I say my wife spikes my cortisol. She hates it.

All those Reform councillors are going to drown in expensed gravy.

If you’re experiencing a high fever and intense nose bleeds then PLEASE head to Heathrow, Charles de Gaulle, and JFK airports!

It has been very stressful trying to plan my honeymoon around WW3, fuel shortages, natural disasters, and a new pandemic.

Hey so I visited a place with a deadly virus and now I’m not feeling well. Time to fly through every major transport hub in the world.

I tell you what… people infected with a new strain of hell love to take a flight.

craghantavirus

We’ve had a decade of Trump and yet there’s so many people on here that are like “this time he is done for sure”

This corridor of sinks fucked my head

I’m at a wedding rehearsal next to The Pitt hospital. I’m going to go walk there. Stay tuned.

I was at a very Glasgow wedding yesterday where it felt like they played about eight Gerry Cinnamon songs. I had a really itchy nose all day and was paranoid people would be asking me for coke.

Artemis II was great because it was just scientists doing cool things and no dickhead egos figureheads or profit as the end goal.

Do you know… nobody listened to The Cure 20 years ago. A big lull in popularity. I remember getting made fun of. Ok bye.

A moon mission and the looming threat of nuclear war is very 60’s of us.

I want to be an astronaut.

One of the things I like about Artemis II is the complete lack of capitalism involved. Just a mission. In space.

Watching smart scientists support astronauts break records whilst naming new craters on the moon after loved ones versus “he used to call Biden retarded” all at the same time.

Absolutely buzzaldrining with all the moon stuff honestly.

“I was in Japan for six days. Here’s what I learned… “ Just shut the fuck up and enjoy your holiday.

Biblical hailstones on Easter Sunday in Dublin. Inshallah.

I like how they start a rocket ship like a gas cooker with the spark plug.

I’ve been saying Inshallah a lot recently as a bit, but I think it’s been working 🕋

In the fancy coffee place and startled myself and the barista by saying “Guatemala bean” in the strongest Glaswegian accent. Factory settings restored temporarily.

Some Irishslop for ye

Some nice uplifting reading in my wee holiday cottage.

Japanese web design is the exact same as it was 15 years ago when I lived there which was already the same as it was in 1996.

My wife doesn’t seem to realise that I’m funny.