I was at a very Glasgow wedding yesterday where it felt like they played about eight Gerry Cinnamon songs. I had a really itchy nose all day and was paranoid people would be asking me for coke.

Artemis II was great because it was just scientists doing cool things and no dickhead egos figureheads or profit as the end goal.

Do you know… nobody listened to The Cure 20 years ago. A big lull in popularity. I remember getting made fun of. Ok bye.

A moon mission and the looming threat of nuclear war is very 60’s of us.

I want to be an astronaut.

One of the things I like about Artemis II is the complete lack of capitalism involved. Just a mission. In space.

Watching smart scientists support astronauts break records whilst naming new craters on the moon after loved ones versus “he used to call Biden retarded” all at the same time.

Absolutely buzzaldrining with all the moon stuff honestly.

“I was in Japan for six days. Here’s what I learned… “ Just shut the fuck up and enjoy your holiday.

Biblical hailstones on Easter Sunday in Dublin. Inshallah.

I like how they start a rocket ship like a gas cooker with the spark plug.

I’ve been saying Inshallah a lot recently as a bit, but I think it’s been working 🕋

In the fancy coffee place and startled myself and the barista by saying “Guatemala bean” in the strongest Glaswegian accent. Factory settings restored temporarily.

Some Irishslop for ye

Some nice uplifting reading in my wee holiday cottage.

Japanese web design is the exact same as it was 15 years ago when I lived there which was already the same as it was in 1996.

My wife doesn’t seem to realise that I’m funny.

I’m not into generic marriage patter, but 100% a wife will wait until a husband has *just* sat down to request them to go fetch something like a donkey boy.

Oh baby got myself a big work promotion and a business class honeymoon coming up in the next few weeks. Everything is completely fine and will go according to plan.

Skin melts down my face in a nuclear winter as I watch an AI slop video of Epstein dancing to Espresso.

Going to start referring to Spar as the bodega. Good bit.

Fucking hell got drunk teenagers already pissing outside my door at noon on Paddy’s Day. Back in my day we would at least wait until the parade was over.

Two best actors weren’t even nominated.

Ireland should let Scotland win once.

Playing a fun game of planning a honeymoon as the world ends.

I feel like fucking Nostradamus buying refundable flights a few months back. Do you what else? I fucking picked Finnair over Emirates as well.

15 years ago today I was teaching in a Japanese coastal town, heard the tsunami sirens, and absolutely shat it.

Can’t we just use AI to move the oil?

Oh no who knew Persians were super smart and their beautiful historic land was impossible to invade?

It’s mad that Israelis love taking MDMA and yet don’t seem to have discovered love or empathy in their souls.

Every day there are teenage meme posts of Operation Epic Bacon and yet they still try to deny things like double-tapping a school. Iran is scary and strong, but also weak and laughable. America is good and just, but also so tough and cool.

In the Gin Palace in Dublin on a Sunday and someone put on The Holy Bible by the Manic Street Preachers 👏

Jesus is coming back for some dumb cul de sac cappuccino cunt.

Eating my wee protein yogurt as I check my Slack DMs only for my retinas to be evaporated in a nuclear strike.

I don’t want to be a doomer, but I think we’re truly fucked.

My honeymoon is going to coincide with a nuke going off probably and that’s very selfish.

Embarrassed to be this old and feel so let down by a footballer.

Got my Mother’s Day flowers order in over a week in advance 😎

Fuck Messi and Inter Miami.

Do you know when people make fun of America they always throw in a derogatory mention of a cheeseburger. Well, I fucking love a cheeseburger.

Imagine going to sleep fearing your building might collapse on you.

I’m going to a bit of Okinawa that is basically Taiwan in May lol

India gave Iran the old Glencoe massacre treatment.

What even is the world eh… you’ve got the German Chancellor throwing Spain under the bus whilst Israel carpet bombs Tehran and the US is committing ever other war crime.

I have an American wife and many Yank friends, but the US is a horrible country full of cunts and a menace to world stability.

Being “woke” these days seems to be defending your own wee corner of equal rights.

I moved to Dubai to avoid taxes and benefit from slave labour. I *don’t* want to be involved in politics!

The EU and Carney back in the imperial fold then after Greenland goes quiet.

All celebrities are vacuous by default. All rich people are evil by default.

I don’t think it’s a good thing that one country can remove multiple heads of state of others.