Lacey: "What'd they call?" Me: "I don't know. I don't understand enough French." Lacey: "I don't understand enough French or enough basketball."

Truly, the most annoying thing about humans is that every generation thinks they've invented comedy.

Alex Jones, 1996: “The US is ruled by a cabal of satanic pedophiles!” Alex Jones, 2026, with ironclad confirmation the US is ruled by a cabal of satanic pedophiles: “Don Lemon is not bae and has zero swag.”

I have a terrible idea that won't work and nobody would like but it involves super powerful computers using up a lot of electricity so please send me $10 billion at your earliest convenience thank you.

There is maybe one person more qualified that I am to tell you what a good Fantastic Four movie looks like, and Jack Kirby has been dead for 30 years. Anyway, that's a very good Fantastic Four movie. Great even!

linda yaccarino secured the bag more smoothly than maybe anyone else in history. landing a sweet 2 year do-nothing gig to the tune of $20M+ because elon lost a twitter poll about whether he should be in charge makes her a first ballot hall of fame empty suit

Why is Pauline a rock, and then not a rock? What is "bananergy"? Why is there sky underground? Why did the useless sculpting minigame get a chunk of time during this reveal? This Donkey Kong is confusing.

from my upcoming "Era of the Business Idiot" newsletter going out in the next day or two wheresyoured.at

I don't know anything about Sleep Token and I do not care, but metal has always been cheesy and implying that it had dignity, or that it needs intellectualizing or defense from the kinds of people who write for Pitchfork is goofier than whatever this band does.

Everyone is so puzzled about why Kristi Noem was carrying around $3k in cash when her purse was stolen, even though the answer is obvious: She wasn't. She has theft insurance and is committing low-level insurance fraud and that's the most she can claim without documentation. They're all just crooks.

Told my wife the other day how much I hate Gen Z slang, went through examples like "cooked," "it's giving..." etc. She responds "Well, it's not as stupid as..." That's my point! It's not that stupid! What is even the point of having slang if you're going to say boring-ass shit like "we're cooked"?!

Played that AI Quake 2 demo. It's transparently very bad and not worth messing with... So what are we doing? Not impressed that it got trained on Q2 data and sort of remembers level 1 but not always and is like playing a slideshow. Am I supposed to be impressed that it can poorly render a 3D space?

RIP best Batman

my wife was fired this week from her job at a major local nonprofit hospital because Trump/Musk are strangling it to death while my cousin (a veteran nurse at the Alaska VA who helps other veterans all day) texts me to say she's likely being fired while her union gets dissolved

An absolute atrocity. Everyone involved with this should be charged with crimes against humanity.

"They're happily married. And they're both spies! What happens when..." Whoa, whoa, whoa! Let me stop you right there! Please. Let. Me. Stop. You. Right. There.

Dave & Busted

The reason I know big tech has become a morass of rudderless managers who can't find a good idea in a bucket labeled "good ideas" is that nobody thought to make Android's ringer status part of its always-on display.

Bah-dum *static*

I can't believe Paddington industrialized an indigenous tribe

On one hand, I like Jalen Hurts. On the other, I love watching people getting ass mad about a sports team winning too much. It's a win-win for me. I'm probably not watching it.

The funniest thing about the Luka trade is the Mavs front office making the big assumption that Kyrie isn't about to check out on them like he did on the Nets.

Liberal politicians see an immaculate bully pulpit and think "oh heavens no. How uncouth. I would never."

I always say my favorite Dylan song is on a bad Dylan album. And I'm talking about Changing of the Guards off Street Legal. Might be getting old, but I don't think that anymore. The album has a couple duds, like Baby Stop Crying, but songs like Señor and Where Are You Tonight? are absolute bangers.

The President is asking rhetorical questions about what federal government aircraft was doing, as if there's someone else who is supposed to have the answer. This is his responsibility. If he doesn't even know the answers, it's because he and his unqualified appointees are incompetent.

The great thing about the block feature on this website is that the liberals just magically disappear after you criticize the Democrats.

The only hope I have for Doom: The Dark Ages being fun is the fact that all elements of the gameplay have speed and difficulty sliders. Because the gameplay they showed was slow and boring.

Don't even know how to deal with this

More snow dogs. They love it so much, makes me sad we live in a place where it never happens. They're

Snow Dogs

Stop voting for these fucking losers.

The reason for the season

#SteamReplay reminded me that I finally played Sonic Frontiers this year, so here's my review for those of you who have been waiting for so long to hear it: It's bad like every other Sonic game from the past 20 years. Thank you, goodnight.

I've never been so distressed as I was this evening when I pulled into what used to be a normal drive thru line like last week but is now a mobile order pickup line with no way out and no way to order but to download and register through their app and scan the QR code on the sign. Glad we did this.

Newsletter: Our digital lives are unregulated growth-hacked ecological disasters. The modern tech ecosystem's growth-at-all-costs mindset is actively harming billions of people, pushing them toward authoritarianism for profit. We must fight back. www.wheresyoured.at/never-forgive-them/

Holiday Harvey

Megalopolis was the best movie of 2024 and I will shout this into the void forever

Not sure what possessed me to make this

get these socktuckers out of here

Good food? Where?!