Stop the escalator. Glitch the teleprompter. Release the Epstein files.

Earth's most notorious criminals sat in the high-backed chairs of Dr. Soros' lair. The diabolical plots to stop the escalator and glitch the teleprompter had worked. Yet the World's Biggest Hero had survived! Red buttons were pressed. Dr. Soros' sharks dined on incompetent minions that day.

If an escalator wants to impress me, it has to wait until he's at the top, and then the steps all flop down flat, so he goes tumbling diaper over elbows. Cue me, I'm ready on the drum set, ba-dum-dum-dum BOOM.

If the turd had a mild headache, and his choices were to put up with the headache, or take Tylenol, he'd take Tylenol, if it meant grabbing it out of the hand of a pregnant women in serious pain. Then he'd brag that he bravely prevented eleventy cases of autism.

There are many things I don't understand. One of them is why the members of the UN didn't start laughing, booing, jeering, and yelling, "Shut up, you ignorant cockwomble." That would have been far more dignified than letting the stupid turd ramble unchecked.

If there was another pandemic, and bodies were piling up, and a vaccine was developed, the orange turd would have his thugs kill however many people as necessary to clear a path for him to drive his golf cart to the head of the line for the vaccine. Then he would brag about it.

It's not that Homan is corrupt. That's a given in this cybercoin clown circus ballroom of an administration. What makes that ham-faced ape notable is that he's so easy, and so fucking dumb, taking fifty grand in cash in a bag.

Immediately afterward, they played "YMCA" and he jerked his forearms back and forth like he was working two slot machines. He then received an enormous trophy and a check for $1 billion.

They're right up to the line and nerving themselves to cross it.

We must end the deadly conflict between Elbonia, Kombucha and Abuburgundy! They must send peace voyeurs to conference or there will be NO MEATLOAF ON TUESDAY'S MENU!

Who would have thought that the beady-eyed, ham-faced, mealy-mouthed booze hound who boasts about violence and discarding due process would be the dumbest of crooks who took a fat cash bribe from FBI agents on camera? Except everyone, I mean.

People get giddy with anticipation of a blue wave in '26, and then 95 Dems in Congress crawl on their knees to kiss the ass of the golden idol of Charlie Kirk. Only 58 (less than 1/3) have the courage to vote no. 60 vote "not here, man" or didn't vote. Don't expect much from these bleating sheep.

Gold spraypaint's got electrolytes. It's what plants crave!

$100k H1B fees that can be waived at Stinky's discretion. So if your company is facing $100m in fees, and you give *him personally* $10m, he'll waive it. Of course, you'll need to make a new "deal" again in a few months. Or weeks. Or hours.

"We throw tear gas at you. If you throw it back, we swarm you." Clearest example yet that they're trying to provoke violence, so they can respond with violence.

Everywhere he goes and everyone he sees is a glassy-eyed toady, and he knows it. They're all looking to kiss ass so that he'll do what they want. Nobody finds him interesting or admirable or anything else. Just a mark. Congrats, Stinky, you've played yourself.

Prediction: Within a month, somebody will ask him something about Charlie Kirk and he'll say, "Who? I'm not familiar."

BREAKING: Hitler invades Poland, vows to build casino, golf course, teen modeling agency in Danzig as cornerstone of a "thousand year Reich." In response, CBS fires Edward R. Murrow. Hitler does chicken dance at Berlin Stormtroopers soccer match.

By the head of the Federal Communications Commission, in 2022:

My first thought was: They didn't get Stinky to do this. I bet he insisted he *would* host the show, but his people know he would be a rambling, babbling mess, and would throw out multiple threats of violence in every sentence.

The *very same channel* that shrieks about the radical violent left states that homeless people who don't stop being homeless should simply be murdered--"involuntary lethal injection"

Imagine that Roosevelt had news of Pearl Harbor suppressed so he could announce it on a radio show. Imagine if, during that show, he had blamed the attack on China. Now imagine if, years later, he dozed through a memorial service, then went to a baseball game where he was loudly booed.

"We have radical left lunatics out there and we just have to beat the hell out of them." This is why tens of millions of Americans' first thought every morning is, "Check the headlines, maybe he's dead."

"Maybe he should have been roughed up, because it was absolutely disgusting what he was doing." "Just knock the hell—I promise you, I will pay for the legal fees. I promise, I promise." "I would bring back waterboarding. And I’d bring back a hell of a lot worse than waterboarding."

Immigrants are "poisoning the blood of our nation."

He thought his *own Vice President* deserved to be hanged by J6 rioters.

"When you see these thugs being thrown into the back of a paddy wagon, you just seen them thrown in, rough. I said, 'Please don’t be too nice'".

"Can't you just shoot them, just shoot them in the legs or something?"

Melissa and Mark Hortmann. John and Yvette Hoffmann.

The National Guardners

Is he dead? Yes: Then release the Epstein files No: Then release the Epstein files

On June 6, 1944, the beaches of Normandy were choked with weeds, brambles, and litter. And the carjackers! You could hardly drive your Dodge RAM a hundred yards before some punk blocked you with a rainbow-colored crosswalk.

Republicans and other American Nazis jerk off with joy. They're finally killing PBS.

If I try to imagine just one year from now, I have no idea what to expect. He's dead? Citizen rage forces fascists to back off? Martial law and mass executions? Internet and press shut down? Election cancelled? Moon spray-painted gold?

It's long, and has a couple of ad breaks in it, but it's good, it's honest, it's not slanted and it's relentless. Also pretty funny at times.

Not a democracy

Not a democracy.

The Humpty Dumpty of American democracy lies shattered in pieces. There is no putting it back together. Either the future is darkness, led by creeps like this, or we build something new. What we once thought we had is gone.

I suspect we're maybe a month from an EO that says that anyone insulting the dignity of the office of the president is to be put into a concentration camp.

BREAKING: President declares two months of national mourning for Hulk Hogan, signs EO that says news outlets may discuss nothing else during our nation's dark hour. Plans underway for Hogan's final resting place in the pro shop at Bedminster, when taxidermists are finished.

I like moonbeams and kittens and fresh strawberries and lightning bugs and holding his swollen feet to the fire while he squeals!

He has forgotten that he ran against Biden in 2020. www.mediaite.com/media/news/t... "But remember this, Obama cheated on the election, and we have it cold, hard, blue, and it’s getting even more so because the stuff that’s coming in is not even believable." LOL I agree with "not believable."

BREAKING: Ghislaine Maxwell named new head of White House Intern Program.

Stinky is terrified of: Rosie O'Donnell Stephen Colbert Jon Stewart Jimmy Kimmel That is one big hunk of alpha male right there.

Every morning I wake up, and every morning, I am disappointed. But one day, Rusty...one day soon.

Small (2-3 acre) preserve behind our house is alive with monarch butterflies today.

Imagine Saul Goodman undergoing a psychotic episode and becoming a malevolent, vengeful prick, rather than an opportunistic amoral grifter. Multiply that by 1000. Give him a glandular disease to make him look like a vampire. Ta-da, Emil Bove.

Birthday parade a miserable flop Ran from G7 like a clucking chicken Rebuked by Liberian president Booed at FIFA Polls underwater on *everything* Cult screaming about Epstein But at least he palmed the FIFA trophy, I guess.

We will never, ever cut Medicaid. Ever. We will only make Medicaid better. We're throwing millions of lazy bums off Medicaid. Everybody dies. Don't eat carrot cake.