What in the ever loving fuck.

Today I have spent two hours shoveling snow and four hours working. I’ve also managed to do five (five!) loads of laundry. I really miss way back when Sundays were simply for going to the pub.

The hill that everyone is gonna die on today at school is whether hot chocolate should be made with milk or water. I had no idea this was such a point of contention. It’s milk. Should be milk. And yes, I will die on that hill. The water folks just don’t know how to live.

Today’s elf is holding onto some oversized chopping boards we have hanging in the dining room. 8yo: Why is he holding onto those things? Me: So… so he doesn’t fall off?”

I’m not a musicals guy. However, Moulin Rouge is top ten. A literal masterpiece for me. Had those songs stuck in my head for *days* right now.

There’s a quiet campaign by the students in my class today to make “surprisement” a word. “Much to my surprisement…” Gotta say, I’m kinda here for it.

The Thing (1982, John Carpenter)

How I know I’m old and irrelevant: Watching the Macy’s parade with the 8yo, and I wanna say 75% of the time they announce the next singer, I’m like “Who?”

I think Shrek might have ruined me a little bit. Whenever anything I’m doing or anything that happens to me is *just* good enough, the same phrase runs through my head. Often, I’ll say it aloud, if only to myself. “That’ll do, Donkey. That’ll do.”

Out of context fourth grader, maybe a half hour ago: “I like it when lots of people touch stuff. It makes the stuff taste better.”

Saw the police report for my rear-end accident. This muh’fucker told the cops I “stopped suddenly” - I didn’t. I was slowed in a yield lane. And that he “didn’t know he hit me”. Yet he ran. Neither of those things are true. The lack of responsibility is staggering.

In reading class. 4th grader (reading): Mr. Fletcher, what’s a crow-bat? Me: A what now? 4g: A crow-bat. Me: I’m not sure. Sounds pretty scary. Lemme see the book. … Me: Ah. That says “acrobat”.

Apparently one of my fourth graders saw me talking to the cop by the side of the road after my accident this weekend. He came bounding up to me yesterday morning. Him: “Mr. Fletcher! I SAW you!” Me: “What, out in the world?” Him: “Uh huh.” Me: “What was I doing?” Him: “Getting arrested!”

The end of Daylight Savings always brings the same question. Do I let the clock in my car be wrong for six months, or do I dig out the manual?

Just got rear ended on the way home from work. Nothing serious - a minor fender bender. Impact unseated my rear bumper. However, this motherfucker FLED. Why yes, officer. I did get his plates.

Not that anyone asked, but. The new Fun Lovin’ Criminals album absolutely fucking rips.

4th grader: Mr. Fletcher, my calculator is broken. Me: How so? 4g: This says 9 minus 7 is 2, but that’s wrong. It should say 3. Me: Should it? 4g: … Oh. It’s 2. Is… is it Friday today? Me: Uh huh. 4g: That’s good.

I often wish I lived in a world where Firefly ran for four seasons.

Gotta say, this “6-7” shit is absolutely tiresome.

Unsolicited Glick pic.

My Wordle today sounds like the title of a children’s book.

It’s a teacher training day today, and our trainer is a question-talker. “Is this ideal? No.” “Can we find better ways to address such a situation? Yes.” “Should you seek assistance of this happens? Absolutely.” Not gonna lie; it’s a little much.

Ooh I can play this one. I’ve never seen the Godfather movies. Or The Wire. No actual reason. I just… haven’t.

I have always championed the Xbox. Always. Hell, I even loved my Windows Phone. But a 50% price increase to Game Pass? And for what? Adding old Ubisoft games and some Fortnite shit I’ll never play? Fuck that. I’m done. Cancelled my subscription. #gamersky

October 3rd is World Smile Day, apparently.

I hate it when we lose the good ones.

“For the love of potatoes, can you please listen?” - A teacher this morning in fourth grade. I fell the frustration, I do, but I’m also a little confused.

Th Xbox Series X, a five-year-old console, is gonna be $150 more expensive than when it launched. That’s fucking ridiculous. I have a Series S, and I’m a devout Xbox gamer, but I won’t be upgrading anytime soon. What the actual. #gamesky

I wonder if tomorrow’s Rapture will be as successful as the last few.

What in the ever loving fascist fuck.

One simple sentence and I suddenly and quite viscerally miss the Nineties.

“Hurry the hell up, dude,” I yell to my 8yo. “We’ll both be late for school.” VO: But, as every morning, up he certainly did not hurry.

That moment before jumping in the shower where you just… don’t wanna get wet.

My 8yo watches a bunch of different animated shows. I can’t keep track. Invariably though, at some point I’ll walk past and say “Hey, that voice is Clancy Brown.”

I was Day One on Borderlands 1, 2, Pre-Sequel, and 3. I don’t have Borderlands 4 yet. Not because I don’t wanna, but because I’m working seven days a week. Adulting sucks.

"Still punk as fuck" I whisper as I slide a new pair of orthotic inserts into my chuck taylors

I’m so tired of this timeline. We’re overdue for something good. Like, literally anything. Something good please.

My sister’s wife passed away last night after an eight year fight with brain cancer. She was 48. She didn’t lose her life - I think that’s the wrong phrasing after all her effort. She fell. She fell in battle. That’s more accurate. #fuckcancer

My elementary school has shifted me from kindergarten to fourth grade for this year. Bit of a paradigm shift, but I’m here for it.

Headed home tomorrow after a hard week in England. It was good to see folks, and for my 8yo to meet family he’d not seen since he was 2yo. It was really hard to say goodbye to someone we love. We came for her, and I’m happy we made her smile. Oh. And #fuckcancer.

If you see this, post a robot.

A genius

Via Variety: 'Guillermo del Toro refused to make #Frankenstein with too much visual effects and green screens: "I want real sets."' variety.com/2025/film/fe...

Working with a teenager yesterday, looking at a passage from Heart of Darkness. He’d never heard of it, so I quizzed him. Catch 22. Scarlett Letter. Slaughterhouse Five. Wuthering Heights. Moby Dick. Treasure Island. 20,000 Leagues. Never heard of them. The fuck are they doing in schools.

I’m reminded that Harvey is one of my all time favorite films, and an absolute must watch for anyone with a pulse. Saying that, I’d love to write a horror reimagining where Elwood is as pleasant as ever, but that invisible rabbit just murders the fuck out of a ton of people.

#15MoviesToGetToKnowMe Withnail & I The Crow (1994) The Fifth Element An American Werewolf in London Shaun of the Dead Moulin Rouge Back to the Future The Thing High Fidelity Serenity Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back Bladerunner Labyrinth Snatch Mannequin

It's not a career. It's not a calling. It's a terminal hobby. You will die doing this. Become a writer.

“My reader may well feel that goodness is already the most familiar of all the thoughts we employ, and yet he may at the same time suspect that there is something about it perplexingly remote.” George Herbert Palmer, The Nature of Goodness.