Loomer would def eat a squirrel.

Benny Botox gonna sue the shit outta Ohtani first thing Monday morning.

where. tf. are. the. lawsuits.

the most Portland shit in the history of Portland shit.

— fuck it mask off

"check it." lmao

Clearport.

Me: *existing chaotically* Lizard brain: Time for a nip Me: ??? LB: ... Me: a nip of what LB: A NIP OF FUKN CHEESE YOU DUMB IDIOT Me: ... LB: ... Me: we just had cheese LB: why you bringin' up old shit

those other words do NOT apply here. lol I'd have no prob being some lucky lady's "dollop" tho.

We'll know it's about to drop when Capt. Cankles starts to empty the clip in all caps.

His Eyes Were Watching Daisy

If anybody can pull off Wine Dad rap as civilization crumbles, it'll be Señor Knowles. I'll hear him out.

LMAOOOO.

Man Japan just needs to go ahead and dump all those treasuries like fuck it. Let's get this show on the road. We're tired over here.

Elon is only back bc he got a taste of the rallies. That's the drug the dictators & wannabes can't get enough of. He just wants to strut around on stage doing Nazi stuff in a lil crop top.

I gave at the office.

bro we will commie this bih up so fast

Some of these electeds (Govs, mayors, state reps, congress, etc.) Need to be showing up with their own muscle to *AT LEAST* protect themselves from these no-badge, non-uniformed, masked ICE jabronis.

when Big Balls roll into work tomorrow.

A micropenis melee

Katie Miller been playing Boer on the Mf'ing Floor, y'all.

When did they give The Count freeform locs?

the very next day.

they better let her wash them jeans.

In 2016, @slate.com created a package called Wonder Week (16 pieces total) for no other reason than to give Stevie Wonder his flowers while he can still smell them. As we celebrate him on his 75th trip around the sun, we also examine what made him such a visionary. slate.com/culture/wonder-week

JD Vance has been VP for three months and he's already on his second Pope who thinks he's trash lmao

nah Petey Patrón selling them out the back.

And honestly, if you're somehow not this kind of person, we don't have anything to talk about anyway.

Free story idea: how the tariffs will affect Black beauty supply stores and Black-owned salons. I'm interested in reading about changes to prices for packages of hair for braiding, bonnets, silk pillowcases, nail polish, press ons, weaves, wigs, eyelashes, silk press combs, and hair trimmers.

Stomach exploded in the woods.

subdeal these student loans bih

Heart Eyes opened with $8.3 mil and has done $32 mil worldwide. They not like us.

Linn Washington Jr., a Temple professor and former reporter at The Philadelphia Tribune and the Daily News, serves as a guide through the podcast, airing April 22. (2/3)

why did JD choose papacide? and how did Noem fuck up a dead drop this royally? Hegseth's lettuce watch begins today. oh, and stock market. Happy Monday! Go see Sinners.

Spamming war plans to all the chats w/ poop fingers.

bout to do card tricks in a coal mine.

Bringing this over from Reddit: I've seen these lil guys around Philly so many times over the years. They are the work of Philadelphia-based street artist, stikman. Some may have seen them in other cities, too. More here: streetsdept.com/2020/12/10/p...

'Let them eat cake." *skips onto dick rocket*

This is the good/bad/worst breakdown of the bond market scare I've been waiting for. Good looking out, Data Bear.

so 11 then.

China is completely fed up w/ white shenanigans, y'all.

just made a Costco "Gallon-sized Toiletry Purchasing Plan" for my single ass.