previously, on Quantum Leap

my parents have a lonely neighbor who does laps in her garage and stares out the window most of the day. i am horrified of that being my retirement.

Every Reels video is like "the number one predictor of longevity is __________" and it's always a different thing

I'm gonna haunt your ass.

Would you push your children into the youth sports pipeline so hard if you knew the military had helped craft it over the last 90 years to be an integral part of their recruiting efforts?

rock tumbler grinding away in the cellar

What if the hubcaps are made of wood?

Millions of drivers just want a simple car where the only innovation is battery power. Why do so many EV companies be like "let's replace the steering wheel with a joystick!" and "what if the doors only unlock when you lick em?"

You're invited to my estate auction 40 years from now.

How do you tell if somebody has dementia when their behavior for the last 70 years has been demented?

just ate like 20 pounds of fajitas

I feel like someone could really sell the sh*t out of a $20k ev with no gps or internet enabled bs in it.

i gave Trump a trophy and it has a secret microphone inside

napping on a beanbag chair full of my ancestors ashes

Don't you love all the power being in the hands and wallets of crusty old shitbags?

Mitch McConnell’s staff have declined to answer basic questions about what work he is doing—37 days after he was loaded into the back of an ambulance and vanished from public view. His staff refused to even say if the senator had spoken to any of them in recent days.

It's concerning that she knew how lucrative the power can be, and knows all the tricks to getting the power.

Why should I care if China is tracking me? I'm already under surveillance by Flock and Google and every other fascist corporation. I'm getting watched no matter what. At least give me a cheap EV.

checking Ivana Trump's golf course grave to see if they put Mitch there

MAGA didn't make this country more bigoted. The frustrating part is that we were starting to fix some of that centuries-old crap and MAGA shut us down so hard that everything else broke.

Somebody should pull the fire alarm in whatever hospital Mitch McConnell is supposedly in. See what happens.

The fun thing about the cancer causing herbicide we call Roundup is that you can actually farm without it, but it's harder and less lucrative than spraying toxic poison on everything. You can sit in your house most of the year when normally you'd have to be out working fields.

I've invented a gigantic Scrabble board where you get 130 tiles and you have to write sentences instead of words.

You can get a predatory college loan or go straight to a minimum wage job, you can buy processed food with inflated dollars or buy fresh produce a corporate farm sprayed with rancid diarrhea, you can be sick at home or go to the hospital and get wallet raped. This country has so many freedoms!

Somebody should pull the fire alarm in whatever hospital Mitch McConnell is supposedly in. See what happens.

We were talking around the bonfire and agreed that the best way for it to happen would be a lightning strike on live camera. There'd be a tiny group of conspiracy nuts who say the liberals have a weather machine, but the vast majority would be unable to deny it was natural.

Love seeing a post that's the headline of a news story, and the link has the same text, and the link description is that same text, then I click the link and the article starts with that same headline, and the first paragraph is that same text, and the next thing is the social media post embedded

It's sad to think that as time goes on, people will stop watching My Neighbor Totoro, stop feeling it, stop having nostalgia about it.

I don't know who needs to hear this but a ton of your heroes in the sports world are toxic rapey men.

TMZ will do anything to get a coochie photo of Brittney Spears but they won't lift a finger to get a look at Mitch McConnell's dead body

Republicans don't want things to get better, they just get dopamine hits every time somebody suffers. It's a fundamental miswiring of their brains to and hearts.

last night you were in my room now my pancakes smell like you

Turned this post into a meme.

If Mitch McConnell is dead but still collecting a paycheck, that's fraud for whomever is doing it.

Republicans are liquidating this country. I don't know what they plan to do after they've pocketed all the money but that's clearly their goal..

I pay for the unlimited showers plan in July.

Every decision is crafted to make the Trump family money. Any side effects from those decisions are irrelevant to their decision making process.

Seems important

They should have photoshopped Mitch McConnell into it lol

Did Andrew Tate get the prison broomstick justice yet

The president is holding us in a silly deadly war which makes his family billions of dollars, not secretly or in conspiracy theory, but in plain sight, on paper.

Asia is innovating. America is stagnating.

They should have photoshopped Mitch McConnell into it lol

Trump bet nobody would check the math on his library fund. Warren checked. Up to $21 million is missing. www.dworkinsubstack.com/p/we-read-tr...

Jimmy Carter had to gave up his peanut farm to avoid any conflicts of interest while president. The Obamas were forbidden to refinance their home while he was in office. Donald Trump has made over 21,000 stock trades while in office, often using his office to manipulate markets.

Citing Callais, appeals court vacates Native American redistricting win in North Dakota Citing Callais, appeals court vacates Native American redistricting win in North Dakota 1/16

sitting and watching tallgrass blow in the wind it's a shame tallgrass can be hard to find these days i highly recommend it

those hot summer bowel movements just hit different

those hot summer bowel movements just hit different

It's almost like all of this is connected somehow to a... cabal... of wealthy sex offenders.