Just farted away a tummy ache

If you're taking your shirt off to run on a treadmill in a public gym you're a fucking weirdo.

It's just occurred to me that I haven't shared that I'm working on a cruise ship until September. Anyway, here's my view from this morning.

If I had £1 for every time someone thought I was Scouse I could buy a house in zone 2

Dad had a haircut.

Sweaty Big Bro here to bully you

Happy 80th birthday to Tim Curry who has always, *always* understood the assignment.

Pov: I'm tired and you're asking me what coffee I want.

✋🏻🛑this is a pit stop! 🛑✋🏻 Quote with your pit pics 💪🏼

Show me a non-selfie that shows how sexy you are

Happy Easter from this lapsed Catholic

Grindr is the most glitchy, shitty non functioning crap app ever. Just fucking work!

First day of rehearsal done.

Wes Streeting is one of the "heirs apparent", he's certainly got the financial backing to launch a leadership challenge.

Do I have any blooms in the Ft Lauderdale/Miami area? I'm going out for work and it'd be good to have a friend?

This is the best press ballet and opera has gotten in America in years

Chunkiest I've been in years but feel hot as fuck lately. Dad era loading.

Working on my "big bro" body, how am I doing?

You know I really thought that pedophilia would be the one thing that all humanity could agree to draw a line in the sand on. Like, the rape of children? You'd think that would be the spark that would ignite a real sociopolitical fire. And yet... Humanity isn't worth saving.

POV your big bro went to the gym and now you're staring

Here's to being young (relatively), sexy, childless and stoned on a Saturday night 🥂

I don't know why but when a straight man calls tattoos tats it really gives me the ick

ICE is murdering people. This is government sanctioned terrorism.

Help us make hope normal again. Join the Green Party now.

Quote post a gif with a clue of where you’re from

God this is so fucking cool

When she was slimmer 🍆

🎉 Green GAIN from Reform! 🎉 💚 Congratulations to Lian Pizzey on being elected in Horsley division on Derbyshire County Council!

Feet are KILLING ME after that pub shift 😢

Starmer says he does not think Sauron would use an Orc army or unleash the Nazgûl to seize the one ring.

Fuck yeh 🤤

Can we all please fucking remember that Austin Wolf is a convicted pedophile and any reposting of his old content is a direct endorsement of his pay per view content that he still operates. When you repost him you're helping a child molester gain subscribers. Please engage your fucking brains.

Whatever happened to "hello"?

Being a good Christian must be measured in deeds, not symbols.

I am once again reminding you all that the UK government introduced an Online Safety Act that is effectively a porn ban on most adult porn websites, but is dithering over banning a website that is actually creating child porn.

*Reform voter

Not my house, but know my way around.

one takeaway from the grok noncon porn thing is that much of the media just isn't interested in an issue they can't pretend has two sides or that doesn't give them an opportunity to shit on the left. Also it would be uncomfortable to justify remaining on twitter after acknowledging it

If I was your bartender would you tip me?

It seems like all the hottest guys on the planet have tattoos. It makes me want to get some!

Throwback to when I was living in Manchester and this amazing mirror that I took so many thirsty traps in 😂

I did it.

I think I'm gonna give Intermittent Fasting a go. Anyone got any experience, good or bad?

I fell asleep with my radiator on and woke up to a 27°C room. Fuck me.

We've just put the extended cut of Lord of the Rings on. Happy Betwixtmas.