There's going to be a lot more on-street parking spaces in London soon.

Southend looks like the inside of a carwash today. Winter is coming. I doubt we'll see sun until April.

Don't know where we'll be living at Christmas so we're not bothering with a tree or decorations. Feels almost liberating.

Boss fights.

Pint of the old peculiar on the Costa del Essex. Please ignore the bags of rubbish by the road. They'll be collected later.

Gumo. Made it.

This year I am prepared. aspland.fit

Went to Lidl and the shelves were bare. Had to trek to Sainsbo's and I'm not thrilled about it.

Look at these urinals at Chalkwell station! Probably original.

Fuck me, are they still flogging this horse? www.theguardian.com/politics/202...

Nice to see you, to see you...

Today I am thankful for tea and cake. Photo unrelated.

All those little Khaleesis and Daeneryses will be hitting their teens by now. I wonder how they're all doing.

I say "thank you" all the time. Don't need a special day for it.

This is ten years ago and, though I say so myself, I don't think I've aged a day. New glasses though.

I just apologised to a robot.

omfg Ante made parkin

Listening to this and let's just say UNDER-RATED.

Taking a benzo and turning my alarm off. See you in two days 👋🏻

Honestly though. Which part of "tax the rich" and "close tax loopholes" does Rachel Reeves not understand? It's not hard!?

I wonder how much of my brain is put over to remembering song lyrics.

Make sure you're covered up outside. That wind is bitey. hevy.com/workout/Mvyx...

I have the words "Gary Barlow's Garibaldis" swimming back and forth in my head. No, I don't know. Maybe he should make and sell biscuits.

Absolutely not. STOP

This really is going to turn out to be just another rich kid getting what he wants through no merit of his own, isn't it? I thought Russell was better than that.

Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey. hevy.com/workout/2wWM...

A m̵o̵v̵i̵e̵ TV show that takes place where you're from.

What is this faggotry? RTD's new bit of fluff? www.instagram.com/reel/DRaFhhd...

I need to tell the Alex that there won't be a Dolly in December, and that I am unconvinced there will be another Dolly there at all. Not the right venue. There's too much mingling between the queers and the Very Heterosexuals downstairs, and my kings and queens do not feel comfortable, or even safe.

Saw two of my gym boyfriends in Lidl just now. They saw me, too. So now I have no excuse, and I have been shamed into returning tomorrow after my week-and-a-bit off to have an existential crisis.

"Is he gay or is he just 'from Essex'?" is a question I've been asking a lot more recently.

Google telling me it's been eight years since my last sunny beach holiday. We've been shoveling all disposable income into a high interest savings account, and I really can't wait to treat ourselves once the Important Financial Events are out of the way.

Just got back from my old gaff.

The waitress gawped at me as if I were an alien yesterday when I asked to pay the bill. I had to ask her again. Ante then explained to me the Gen Z Stare. Yes I am an old man complaining about the youth. We're doomed.

We went to Dunelm (Mill) and I bought a blanket.

Literally just ban Isn'trael, it'll be easier.

Patient presents with chronic under-recovery secondary to sustained caloric deficit, heightened psychosocial stressors (notably occupational load and property acquisition), circadian disruption due to seasonal light reduction and excessive stimulant reliance.

Teachings Ante how to say "walnut roll and water" in the Most Essex Accent.

It turns out that yes, I would make a better chancellor than Rachel Reeves. www.theguardian.com/politics/ng-...

"Wills and Harry dressed in drag, standing over the sodomised body of their mother, would make a beautiful poster in Athena" is quite a lyric. Manic Street Preachers were punk as fuck.

🚨REMINDER🚨 I have an ancestral island off the coast of Antarctica if any of you want to stop the world and go off-grid.

Visited a new client today, a family-run construction company in Leigh. They said I had a voice perfect for reading bedtime stories on children's TV, and of all the ways I've been called a faggot, that's a new one.

Another friend has had a baby, so that's another friend's social media posts I can mute.

Sometimes it might be better to just not know.

Christ, people joke about sneezing and putting their back out, but I just sneezed and put my back out.

CLOUDFLARE'S DOWN

Heartwarming how Labour have radicalised an entire electorate.

Watched the Long Walk last night, and then dreamt Ante and I had been placed in a reëducation camp in North London. The officers were being horrible to Ante.

Buckling down for a seaside winter already, is it?