Pregnancy hormone status

ICE agents were tasked with storming and occupying a Sea Dogs game in progress

Breaking News: In a surprising turn of events it appears the military has been deployed to Portland, Maine. The White House has released a statement from the President as follows: “What the fuck do you mean there’s two of them? That’s stupid. You’re stupid.”

I will, as per usual, fall for the clever trap Persephone has set for me

I'm so excited to get my body back. And I don't mean "look the same as I did before I got pregnant" bc that's not happening. I just mean being the sole occupant. There's a foot in my pancreas

Spindrift sent me a birthday box of seltzer except apparently it is for Persephone.

LOOK HOW PROUD HE IS

Today in "not everything in the world is awful" www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/t...

I went to a baby parenting class today and the teacher was warning us that a lot of new parents struggle with "the monotony, the routine, not going out and socializing." Anyway apparently autism has prepared me for life with an infant. Thank you autism

Please allow me to show off my wedding dress

I'm not going to put a picture but I'm 34 weeks along and let's just say, I've arrived

I got my flu+RSV vaccine today and I love love LOVE that I can get a shot before my baby is even born and it will generate natural immunity for him against those illnesses for the first few months of his little baby life 🥹

I got "dog breed identification" autism which has proven very exciting for Leonberger owners

Every night between 10-11pm I lie on the couch while a fetus kicks my ass

My column every week

Listen my pelvic joints are separating in the back. I took two acetaminophen an hour ago. If my baby likes trains he likes trains OK

Folic acid? The thing that they recommend every pregnant person take to prevent neural tube defects?

And next up will be tricorders in every PCPs office

Riding the high of getting the last two loaves of sourdough at the farmer's market

A Mainer will immediately look at this Graham Platner ad and go "ah, they told him to dress up"

I've been doing daily prenatal yoga for months and I've just painfully pulled an abdominal muscle sitting down the wrong way...??

Since we’re doing deep cuts, let’s see the Joe Hill files.

T-minus one month until d-day

once a bunch of miscellaneous crap has been put into a neat little pile on a side table it’s not going anywhere. it lives there now.

I got to meet Graham Platner today and I can confirm he passes the vibe check. Just a very normal dude who made me feel relaxed and at ease the whole time

APRIL - 1805 NAPOLEON IS MASTER OF EUROPE ONLY THE BRITISH FLEET STANDS BEFORE HIM THERE IS NOTHING IN NAVAL LAW STATING THAT A GOLDEN RETRIEVER CANNOT SERVE HIS MAJESTY AS CAPTAIN OCEANS ARE NOW BATTLEFIELDS

Baby onesie sizing is as stupid and made up as women's clothing sizing

Low-grade fever: Eat a McFlurry in an ice bath full of bleach. Cramps: Try not complaining. Men get cramps, too, you know. Lightning crotch: Exorcism. www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the...

Great news, friends, we were able to add COVID vaccines to our upcoming flu shots clinic! See flyer for details, pre-registration greatly appreciated but walk-ins welcome as well! October 10, 11am-2pm at 15 Casco St Portland ME Insurance and self pay accepted!

These are the bats they use if the other team field a werewolf

I have taken the Tylenol that was in the medicine cabinet and which they think probably is the reason you like trains forgive me but that’s bullshit you got autism from your dad

when my father tells me he’s having grilled meat and boiled potatoes for dinner for the 487th time in a row because “that’s what dinner is supposed to be”

Folic acid? The thing that they recommend every pregnant person take to prevent neural tube defects?

Listen my pelvic joints are separating in the back. I took two acetaminophen an hour ago. If my baby likes trains he likes trains OK

My column every week

that’s me in the corner that’s me in the spotlight looking for the bathroom

Choose. Your. Fighter.

This is Daegi and Jjigi. Together they share one brain cell, and Jjigi is currently using it to look out the window. 12/10 for both #SeniorPupSaturday (IG: j___d_love)

Every night between 10-11pm I lie on the couch while a fetus kicks my ass

So much of prematurity is related to social determinants of health. And prematurity is so expensive and heart breaking (I have personal experience).

Favor Kabwe struggled to find the words to describe his feelings after being naturalized as an American citizen. “A huge relief,” the 39-year-old Auburn resident said. “Finally, I belong here,” said Kabwe. “This is my home.”

Everyone knows the Edmund Fitzgerald’s pronouns are “was/were”

I'm going to start demanding that everyone refer to me as a "gravity skeptic" instead of "a fucking idiot who refuses to believe he'll fall when he jumps out of a plane"

"You've let me down, you've let the squadron down... and worst of of all you've let yourself down."

I got "dog breed identification" autism which has proven very exciting for Leonberger owners

being trans is awesome and trans people are amazing and gender is a dumb box and anyone who makes their own crowbar to smash it from inside is a hero actually.

This is Rosie and Pancho. Rosie has spent days digging a suspiciously Pancho-sized hole. Did not help the premeditated charges by putting him in it to check her measurements. 13/10 for both (TT: sophie.molkenthin)

Me and @tiffanybond.com

I got my flu+RSV vaccine today and I love love LOVE that I can get a shot before my baby is even born and it will generate natural immunity for him against those illnesses for the first few months of his little baby life 🥹