I didn’t even know shins could sweat but here we are (went outside)

He’s the DJ, hide the cocaine

This Evan Mulrooney guy… I need to get intimately familiar with, my god

Not pictured: the many many many flies

Patti Lupone at the Turkey border

The transformative power of a cold shower

Mother has arrived! CONFESSIONS II vinyl came early

Happy Birthday Canada! Love you, miss you! 😘❤️

I’m gonna still be gay tomorrow

Will this coffee protein smoothie provide me with the fuel I need, or will it send me running to the bathroom? Odds are 50/50

Lend a hand to a bad knee diva. Donate if you can!

An ugly ass cybertruck had the NERVE to park in front of MY house im gonna vom 🤮

us

Having to indefinitely hold off on buying a new computer until the AI bubble bursts and RAM/GPU prices go down is getting old

Remember to stay hydrated this weekend and don’t forget the sunscreen

Help out if you can And mind the bike path, dammit

Save me deli container refresher

Back in bed, where I belong

Shoulder popped in and out of its socket while making out. My body is a temple and its crumbling

Morning! I cut 9” inseam shorts into appropriate length shorts

Nick doesn’t like the beach so I was gonna take advantage of the day off alone to go lay in the sun but of course it’s cloudy. Guess ill just rot at home

Trillionaires absolutely should not exist and I truly hope this promptly sets off a chain of events to restore some much-needed balance.

It’s Kaytranada weather out there

Wait, has limeade always been this delicious?

Feeling indecisive. What’s you guys’ coffee order?

Oh to be a large lizard laying on a rock

Nick bought the poopsicle dude wipes. The scent is so potent i’m a little scared of them.

June 1st. Happy pride! 🏳️‍🌈

Trans man biking shirtless made me really happy. Get that tan brother!

I’m not upset or offended, but I would like to know why I’m being targeted by “lace girl summer” ads

Snek

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaAaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAaaaaa That is all. Thank you for your attention

She makes the kooky quirky pop the current musical landscape is desparately lacking.

Thought it was Thursday

Will forever appreciate Criterion Collection for being the only streaming service that doesn’t auto shove something else down your throat the second the credits start rolling

It’s a beautiful Tuesday for a bout of depression ❤️

this is the most millennial dad joke ever conceived

anybody have any pink ones

Your fly is down btw

Obsession was batshit (complimentary)

Just captured and released a large wasp from our bedroom with precision and care I feel like Steve Irwin

Going to the movies on Saturday morning >>>

Took a half day :) to go to the DMV :( But I have an appointment so there’s a chance it won’t be too bad :/

reskeet if you’re radically pro-transgender

Shirtless runner season is also thick hairy thighs in short shorts season and I think that’s special and beautiful

Charli, where’s the rest of the song?

I feel like my 2014 laptop. Functional, albeit operating painfully at a fraction of my capacity. Battery completely depleted and unable to hold a charge.

Taco tuesday on cinco de mayo

Laying in your underwear basking in the warm sunlight coming through the window is one of life’s greatest simple luxury

Imagine trying to distract me with number when i’m just here doing it all for love