This is what you get when you follow this thread all the way down and that is because it is the right answer.

My father is peeling potatoes and I asked if I could help. “No I’m in zen right now.” I want to live in this moment forever.

HOME ALONE (2026): After Harry and Marv are released from prison they find Kevin’s house and burn it to the ground. His trademark “Waaauugh” is heard for miles.

So I can't stay on your bullshit island but you want me to get Santa, who hates me, to come here and save all those shitty toys?

Thanksgiving. The one day a year when Everything they say about Americans is true.

Wizard of Oz(1939) Dorothy immediately jumps to the conclusion she has traveled over the rainbow based on nothing. Zero evidence is given in the film to indicate that a rainbow is used in the measurement or orientation of the distance between Kansas and Oz.

I’m cool.

What I'm seeing every time someone is in the Criterion Closet.

As far as I'm aware, no superhero has a rogues gallery quite as consistently *bald* as Superman's ferocious flock of follicly-challenged foes. Dozens of chrome-domed criminals have made Superman the ire of their depilated deviousness over the decades, so let's meet SUPERMAN'S BALDEST FOES!

“Looks like tonight’s bath night.” [clicks shut down and restart]

June Squibb's Criterion Closet picks absolutely rule.

Holy crap. I made this happen with my mind!

Stop paying Jared Leto money.

Original multiverse

Every Boomer should be buried in Arlington National Cemetery.

Hey! Everyone younger than me! Your mustache looks gross! Shave it off!

HEY DC I'VE GOT A BETTER IDEA FOR SUPERMAN Crash landing in Crime Alley, Infant Kal-El is discovered by a pair of petty thieves who grow to care about him deeply, while simultaneously using him as a brick in their storefront smash-and-grabs.

If I reply to someone I don’t know and they don’t respond within a few hours, I delete it. Because I’ll be gd if I’m gonna let them use it to reach out to me someday when the cash comes in.

How is it possible that the number of people who must be tripping is so much lower than the number of people who are tripping?

The weight of the word 'if' becomes a little worrisome once you consider the expectations set by the rest of the lyrics to "Wouldn't It be Nice??"

A: You know, Jimmy used to be a poet. He started writing a book, but just never got it finished... B:Oh, is that right? Jimmy: Yeah, I...*finger gun*...Poe-tried.

You get to witness the colonoscopy of one person, living or dead. Who is it and why?

You know who comes up with new slang? The people who just say weird shit all the time.

A time travel movie where everyone communicates in meme based phrases. The hero has to remember all of today’s hottest memes in order to mimic baby talk and escape the eggplant gestapo.

He’s not the boogeyman. He’s the one you call to snuggle the boogeyman to sleep.

We are talking about a thing we both like a thing that person said made me smile I say something about the same thing that makes them smile I try to talk more than them because I want to make them smile more than they make me smile there’s no way they can make me happier than I can make them they wi

I don’t care whether it’s by an inch or a mile. Winning is winning. If it’s under an inch though, you can go fuck yourself. That’s a tie.

*reviewing medical records* It’s as I expected. Hulk Hogan died from being racist trash who diarrhea’d his guts out.

Child’s Play 2 is a relic of its time because it depicts toys, possessed and non-, being made in America.

*reviewing medical records* It’s as I expected. Ozzy died from being Sick as Hell.

When you make a surprised face the wrinkles under your eyes go away. This is a fundamental detail of the economy right now.

Anybody else read this magazine (aka Penny Power) as a kid and now find it impossible to spend money on yourself as an adult? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zillion...

The older I get, as my skin loses elasticity and my features droop, the more I realize how fucking cool my skull is going to look 1000 years from now.

Now. More than ever.

A Mythbusters episode about the physics of the table in the wedding episode of “The Bear.”

MAKE OUT! MAKE OUT! MAKE OUT!

I hate to say it but, the confidence I once had that I could land a plane safely if I had a dedicated air traffic controller talking me through it, has really been shaken by recent events.

I know it’s a show. You know it’s a show. Ray Wise is a real person and actor. The house was only used as a film set for a year or two, three decades ago. Under NO circumstances would I go into that house with Ray Wise.

[i show up late and miss the text scroll at the beginning of Star Wars] What’s an empire?

Anybody else finding themselves checking in with their conclave more frequently lately?

Remember, he only got resurrected on account of who his dad is.

Shout out to "Warriors of Plasm". Kings of the dollar bin.

Comic books were meant to be read and enjoyed.

Here's something I think the bsky hivemind could help me with. I was at an estate sale a while back and found this, a copy of ElfQuest Portfolio 1 from 1980. It's a set of 6 art plates done by Wendy Pini. I didn't know anything about @elfquest.bsky.social but I knew it was cool.

A tariff is really just a wish your heart makes.

Just because no one else has called this particular challenge out, I will shake his hand until he drops.

When it finally turns and looks at you.

Learn to show more appreciation for the boys who never left town.