Aunt didn’t visit this year

Me choosing to gain 10 pounds tonight

Me identifying as queer:

My aunt flight got delayed and she can’t ruin the turkey now

Ik im that girl cause one of my antidepressants is HOT PINK

Reminder

remember when chris brown had beef w tinashe and was like “name 5 tinashe songs?” sir name 5 women you haven’t put hands on

Poetry:

“But just because all her friends are Trump supporters doesn’t mean she has the same beliefs…” Have any of you stayed friends with someone you morally disagreed with? No

My classmate was like “you got something on your head” then he pulled out a white hair

“What’s your skincare routine” 3 rounds of Accutane

fuck you bitches that live in urban, walkable places I hate you because I am very jealous

Yes, have you met babies?? They’re one scream away from shattering your ear drum

Accidentally made a chemical bomb on my test…again

Is it bad I bought an 8 year old the first twilight book? They’ve already seen the entire series

I got too many tests this week

Ok now can we restore the abortion rights

Dear god, thank you for dove soap.

I wanna be like my dog and sleep in all day while barking at anyone who tries to wake me up

And I wish it were George Clooney

I can’t watch ER because that one doc looks like my ex

Me instead working:

I sang and my dog started crying.

It’s so embarrassing reading Plato in public, just hand me a smut instead

I found a blonde guy attractive

The BlueSky Algorithm to me at this point

Behind every baddie is this album

Thanks, it’s jaundice.

having a crush has been actively ruining my life for months

I slept in today

Unironically reading philosophy for fun has me feeling like a pretentious man

It was actually freezing cold today

I ate a lot whole bag of Chester’s fries

good morning it’s sunday morning

My gaydar:

Asking my therapist on Monday why Sabrina keeps giving me a pop quiz in my nightmare

I hand-whisked whipped cream for my strawberries

Why is DIVERGENT at my doctors office??!

“I DON’T WANNA BE LIKE CINDERELLA”

“Hilary Duff is a fake ally” DO YOU NOT REMEMBER THIS??!

How I find this news

It’s too cold out

Worker bees:

How is it the 18th anniversary of this pop perfection?!

Currently

Oops I did it again

Drank 3x the daily limit of caffeine

I’m vaccinated asf and my republican family is losing it rn

I got my 2025 COVID Vaccine against RFKs wishes