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I’m ace because most of cells are too. Mitosis is asexual reproduction.

I have to get up early tomorrow to heat-style my hair because I have to dress “business professional”

I think my peak was in 2nd grade when we were all eating Dino nuggets for lunch and I told everyone they’re actually eating Dino meat because chickens evolved from them.

Bsky mod will label my Britney vids as adult content while showing me oomf’s schlong

“So how you been?” I’m like: “the usual and just some liver disease”

The F1 edits of that one coach ok now I get why the girls and gays tune in

Whole skyline turning into F1 now

One of the few things I’m deeply passionate about

I developed a one sided beef with Meghan Trainor at age 10 and I haven’t gotten over it

My mom mixed my good Parmesan with the cheap wet n stinky kind

I accidentally sedated myself into a 16 hour slumber (poison control said it was a common mistake??)

Mark my words 10-15 years from now gymbros will have a higher risk of colorectal cancer

When you say he’s so gay, do you realize what you say?

Bratz is in my top 3 artists

People are actually joking about the Middle East getting bombed as if people aren’t dying brutally like

Spent 40 mins solving question just for the next page to have the answer open.spotify.com/track/0o4SpT...

just opened my eyes and already can’t wait to get back in bed tonight

No matter how much I love what I do I still hate work

I strut like I mean it

I hate when my friends refuse to go to therapy because they “don’t need it” like girl I can’t keep up with you.

I love hitting that report button today like open.spotify.com/track/6ic8Ol...

This is so cute idk if it’s on purpose

DMs are split between ppl accusing me of me shading Britney and others saying I’m defending her too much

Me if TMZ kept embellishing the truth about me

any sharp pain means im about to die and any mild pain means im about to die and any absence of pain means my nervous system must be shutting down and im about to die

I hate how the media keeps bullying Britney. TMZ was like “she got arrested for a DUI” but there’s no proof of that and everyone is running with it as the truth. She could have been driving without a drivers license for all we know. Stop using her conservatorship to make her sound crazy.

she’s kinda the princess of covers imo

Prof mentioned this was a Rolling Stones song and I literally forgot it was

Not wrong born in the wrong generation because I can stream all of Britney’s music

One of her most underrated albums

Reactivating hinge account just to admire my profile again

I love the Greek

Me on LinkedIn:

I’M purplewooper

Britney Spears will be on repeat for the rest of the day 🔁 🎶

My aunt accidentally gave me $500 of Amazon rewards because she never redeemed the cash back when she was using my prime subscription.

the queens and the queers yeah they loving MY SHIT

I do it for the girls and the gays THATS IT

He asked where it was and without skipping a beat I said “near France”

Coworker told the new guy I’m Genovian

Djo:

Showing oomfs picture of my immortalized cells

I hate when I tell people a basic science fact and they look at me like I’m insane. Like yes human cloning is possible, DO YOU NOT REMEMBER DOLLY??

I hate Apple Music and their Dolby Atmos

Oomfies how do I come up with a middle name? I don’t think I’m white enough for Marie even though that eats.

I lost my earplugs so I actually have to talk to people now

Lost the only thing that was keeping me sane