Word of the day, should you be feeling a little huffish, is ‘apanthropy’ (18th century): a love of solitude and the desire to be away from other people.

I’m in a pub, reading my book in front of the fire with a glass of wine. It genuinely doesn’t get much better than this.

Just getting in the Christmas mood...

As a disabled person, I aspire to be the person the DWP think I am.

This picture shows how excited I got when I saw flamingos yesterday. I love flamingos 🦩

Good morning Madeira!

I feel like I don’t want to leave my bedroom ever again. If I could just hide here and not engage with the world, that would be great. Thanks.

Hammie has become very much a part of our home. We’re only hamster sitting while our niece is on holiday but she’s so cute and we love her!

I’ve just spent all morning cooking the blandest roast of all time. I honestly shouldn’t have got out of bed.

Day four of a splitting headache. This bastard needs to fuck off or start paying rent.

I’m dreading today. It contains a board meeting and a therapy session and I honestly don’t know which is worse. There may be a requirement for an alcoholic beverage later. And a hug.

I’ve just finished the cake for my friend’s 40th birthday tomorrow. This one is so simple but always goes down well.

For all of our babies who we never got to meet. #BLAW

We’ve had a stunning week in Crete and I think it’s very unfair of you all to make me come home.

Possibly my favourite thing about a hotel buffet breakfast is seeing what other people eat. Yesterday may have peaked with a woman eating a fried egg on a chocolate donut.

We’ve been upgraded in our hotel to a room with a private jacuzzi. I’m not coming home.

If I ever go on #SaturdayKitchen, Greek Salad would be my food heaven.

My husband doesn’t do shots so I have to do them both! It’s a struggle.

You know you’re in an airport when a full English breakfast has an accompanying drink of choice of a pint.There’s one guy tucking into the works with a pint of Guinness. And some classy bird has a wine with her sausage sandwich.

I have NEVER been so stressed!! But they got it over the line. Europe wins the #RyderCup on American soil. Superb.

I am genuinely so excited about the golf later. It’s too long to wait until 5pm! #RyderCup

4 1/2 to 11 1/2 Ole ole ole ole! #RyderCup

I’m very much looking forward to the rapture today. Does anyone have an exact time? I don’t want to start something that I won’t be able to finish. That would be silly.

I’m drinking on a Monday because it’s my birthday. I shall be drinking next Monday because we’ll have checked into an airport hotel prior to our holiday. I shall be drinking the Monday after because we’ll be on holiday. I shall be drinking the following Monday as it’ll be a normal Monday.

Two excellent birthday cards.

Dutch late night TV has its take

I’ve just remembered the classic tale a colleague told yesterday. “I had a dream last night but I can’t remember what is was.” It’s this kind of brilliant banter that makes me so glad the company owner won’t let us work from home 🙄

Some of the symptoms of depression can include sleeping a lot and loss of appetite. Or the opposite. I’d like to thank my brain for fucking me over once again by ensuring that I am firmly in the knackered fat bastard category.

This cannot come quickly enough. I am broken.

I’m just wondering what time it’s acceptable to start drinking? We normally try to stick to 6pm but at 4.39pm I’m getting a bit desperate. If I have now one but promise to be in bed by 8pm, is that ok?

If someone could slap me around the face for checking my word emails at 8pm on a Friday night then I’d be very grateful. Ta.

it's real support from actual racists

We went to a supermarket this morning that didn’t have a scan as you go system so we had to go to a checkout, unload the trolley and load it all in again. Plus interact with a human. It was awful. 0/10.

Always love a slice of the Great British Bake-Off! A new collection of culinary characters to get to know! @channel4tv.bsky.social #GBBO

I’ve done all the prep for a roast including the yorkshire batter, creamy leeks & carrots, picked & chopped runner beans & prepared the rest of the veg. I’ve also picked a load of tomatoes & roasted them to make a tomato sauce. Then I made a lasagne & a chocolate mud cake. Please can I sit down now?

I’m very much looking forward to the next two days as they will be make up free with minimum bra requirements.

Well, if we can't trust the word of the imprisoned sex trafficker, then the world really has gone to pot.

We’ve officially opened the new drinks terrace in our garden. I can confirm that relaxation occurred.

Bursting into tears and screaming at the tele was not on my list of tasks for today but that’s where we are.

I’ve had the most manic of weekends with late nights, drinking, entertaining and generally running around like the proverbial. As an introvert this is exhausting and I have to host a BBQ today before I finally have this evening all to myself. I’m counting the minutes.

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened! Thanks for the memories. #Sonny #Sunny #COYS

I would do pretty much anything for a tit bun.

My therapy homework requires me to buy stationery. I’m positively giddy!

I’ve just done age verification on here via the face scan thing and now I really want to know the results of the age estimation.

I have perfected the art of ruining our entire weekend being stressed from the week before and anxious for the week ahead. Thanks mental heath. Another win for you.

I had a really shitty day at work so I took myself to the cinema when I finished to watch the new Jurassic Park film. Much needed brain floss. I’ve never been to the cinema on my own before but it was fab. Two hours in a dark room, no communication required. Bliss. And popcorn all to myself.

People think money has ruined football but the sight of a rapist dictator standing next to a corrupt football official in front of a big gold trophy at a competition bankrolled by Saudi Arabia reminds me the game still belongs to us.

A nice swim and then bubbles on the beach with my mum and sister. We’re so lucky to have each other and to live here.

BBC Breakfast have just said that the king is doing something “at his own expense” and I’ve lost it 🤬 Unless he’s been putting in a shift in MacDonalds on the sly, every penny he has is by virtue of who he popped out of and taxpayers money. This may be my earliest rant.

Left the house at 7.15am this morning and I’ve just got home. I’m knackered, in pain and generally done. I’m too tired to even eat which I don’t think has ever happened to me before.