The [paid, out-of-state] signature gatherers in Washington have complained about harassment as they gather signatures to take away the rights of trans kids and make them afraid to go to school, and let Christians prevent other people's kids from reading books they don't like. Boo fuckin hoo.

The soccer cartel made up a peace trophy and gave it to Trump as he's about to start a war So here's what that looks like

Dear peasants, We're cornering the market like Disney before us. Please don't call your Congressional representatives to complain about media consolidation, and rest assured the poorly lit content paste will flow (courtesy of unpaid humans and AI slop). Fuck you. -Netflix

Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷

RIP to a great one, Udo Kier, who passed away today at 81.

MTG is a foul little Nazi garbage rat, and I am rather looking forward to her falling on her face when she realizes that the left isn't buying her stupid rebranding and the right doesn't put women in charge of anything

In any just world, RFK Jr would be sharing a prison cell with Andrew Wakefield and Elon Musk for the incalculable harm they've done to children.

Received a Dem fundraising text just now: "WOW: Hakeem Jeffries SUED Donald Trump!" That's your big pitch, eh What happened next

"Head or gut?" is as much debate as this question should require

One of the least costly and most effective military options on Venezuela would be for him to fuck off

I've never blocked someone faster

This man belongs in prison along with everyone who carried out his illegal orders, and I will vote for the first presidential candidate who promises to make it happen.

Hey Dems I found your new slogan!

"Mamdani is not a warning shot; he is a sign of things to come. Dem voters everywhere want transformative change. They’re furious at party’s leaders and suspicious of candidates backed by an establishment that gets everything wrong," writes @alexshephard.bsky.social. newrepublic.com/article/2027...

Hey, Republicans? You made this happen. You stole the Supreme Court and legalized voter suppression and partisan gerrymandering and sent literal soldiers into California to stand around holding their dicks so you can pretend there's a riot everywhere that queer people live. Fuck. You. Own this.

All day, many of you have been asking for a Cheney obituary from me. Get ready:

But I don't understand They released big dumb dork glasses that can talk to you badly about how to take the ingredients you've already purchased and prepared and set out onto your counter and then pour them into a bowl How can the public not see the immense value in such a thing

The nice thing about this is that any future president who feels like naming it the "Donald J Trump is a Criminal Who Can Get Fucked In Hell Room" may do so, based on the "cuz I said so" doctrine. Or take a shit on it and knock it down. There's no reason why any of this has to "stick", really.

This rhetoric also collapses in the face of suggestions to tackle childhood hunger, industrial polluters, or lack of access to healthcare (including vaccination which prevents disease). It always boils down to: -"It's okay if other people's shitty inferior kids die" and -"Buy my supplements"

I genuinely do not care that Trump wrecked part of the White House. It's a musty old building. It's not special or important. AS EVIDENCED. BY TRUMP HIMSELF. LIVING AND WORKING IN IT. Making the White House look like what he's done to the office and the Constitution is A-OK by me.

Hey, kinda seems like the Constitution is dead, doesn't it? This robber baron prick is stealing our tax dollars and denying them to us because we didn't vote for him. Under his oath of office, he does not have this power. And if he takes this power, then he's the President of jack shit.

the president using the office to punish americans that didnt vote for him should really be one of the biggest scandals in americas history

House Speaker Mike Johnson can eat my entire ass at the STP finish line where there are food trucks and he has better options available

One of the most persistent annoyances of Google's voice keyboard is that it corrects "gonna" to "going to". I use both. They convey slightly different meanings. Who is the audience for this? Let me say what I want to say, you pedantic fuck

As if a cop has ever arrested a conservative shit-stirrer who didn't leave them literally no other choice. Cops absolutely engage in viewpoint discrimination, but it's not against Republicans.

This man is a multi-billionaire who could spend his time on literally anything, and he is such an obsessed crybaby bitch that this clickbait headline can only have one possible answer, which is that he fell into a K-hole and became aware of a trans kid

Overnight, Trump and Republicans in Congress shut down the federal government. They shut it down because they’re determined to strip healthcare from millions of Americans, to enrich the billionaires they serve, to continue the assault on our rights. We must fight back.

Taken just a few minutes ago outside the ICE facility in Portland that Trump claims is under siege. My message to Donald Trump is this: we don’t need you here. Stay the hell out of our city.

at this point it feels like the president is just harassing various american cities

Sinclair and Nexstar caved. I don't give one single wet shit about the specific show in question, but what I took from this is that conservative media is vulnerable to the same kinds of advertiser pressure campaigns they've been inflicting on us for decades.

I get that the news cycle is packed right now, but I just heard from a colleague at the Smithsonian that this is fully a GIANT SQUID BEING EATEN BY A SPERM WHALE and it’s possibly the first ever confirmed video according to a friend at NOAA 10 YEAR OLD ME IS LOSING HER MIND (a thread 🧵)

Far as I can tell, Robert Redford was: * successful at everything he tried * genuinely intelligent & insightful * desired by women * envied by men * an absolute mensch to everyone he dealt with * a tireless, lifelong philanthropist ... and he died peacefully in his sleep. 10/10 life. No notes.

Glad to see the young people have discovered the joys of Numberwang

Politics reporter at Deseret News says the Utah Speaker has confirmed Charlie Kirk is dead.

Had to repeat my mantra today: Political violence is bad even when it happens to [I don't trust myself to finish this sentence today] It's bad. It's all bad. It's bad because it escalates and never ends.

This means the part of his brain which allows him to give a shit doesn't function well He's also lying

A great and ubiquitous character actor. RIP sir, and thanks for everything.

Fucking abolish ICE. This is obscene. We're breathing in the wildfire smoke that these MAGA jackals are trying to make worse right now, and these ICE pricks should pick up a bucket and do something useful.

Whoa, Hogwarts Legacy is on sale for $12 if anyone wants to continue not buying it because JK Rowling is a Nazi. And I'm speaking my opinion hyperbolically because she's also a litigious little shit who weaponizes her country's stupid legal system to stifle criticism of her transphobia.

Yeah it's pretty bad that an opportunistic amoral sociopathic war criminal piece of shit like John Bolton is being persecuted by the Trump Administration but like- I'm not gonna pretend like I'm any more worried today than yesterday. This has been happening to normal people for months.

Focus on the Fuck Off, ya won't be missed, James Dobson, you monstrous piece of shit.

As a cis and (more het than not) dude who also happens to be a Swiftie, I wasn't expecting to find this article so relatable. At its core this is a trenchant piece about one's relationship with popular and political culture and how it intersects with the most fundamental feelings of being human.

It is so easy to say, "Well I haven't heard about that, but it sounds like more baseless right-wing bullshit" The Republicans literally never acknowledge a scandal in their party. Just.... Don't engage in attacks on other Democrats. It's so fucking easy.

A "high-velocity air rifle" firing "metal projectiles" is a BB gun, and if this guy plink-plinked even one "projectile" in the cops' direction, then they fucking knew it was a BB gun and they killed him anyway. Way to go, Bellevue PD.

Not safe to be Big Balls anymore because of woke

Wow. They actually printed a sign with that name. And right behind it: a sign that says "Private Property"

My daily-carry Leatherman uses: * Open package/envelope (60%) * Tighten loose screw (15%) * Cut more precisely with tiny scissors (10%) * Ply or hold thing w/pliers (10%) * Open can/bottle (3-4%) * Thinkin about that '24' ep where Jack Bauer orders a Navy mechanic to slit a baddie's throat (1-2%)