if one of your stuffed animals doesn’t have a devil-on-your-shoulder vibe, get more creative

that kind of kicks ass actually

if none of your vampires are bisexual it's not a very good vampire story

our country is so FUCKING embarrassing dawg

i’m mad how much wallace takes gromit for granted

considering radically changing my relationship with my mother in a single text message by sharing some choice tumblr posts shipping father jud/benoit blanc

what the fuck are we doing here

i wonder how many witches/sorcerers/etc across time just had ocd

practicing in front of a mirror saying “i would like to watch all of the Venom movies imminently for very Normal reasons”

Free speech is more than me being allowed to say what I want. Everyone also has to like it and tell me I'm a smart and handsome boy

i don't even like guns, but everyone in the Scream sequels should definitely be walking around with a gun at all times, right? or at LEAST a taser

me when things don’t happen how i planned them ahead of time

been getting up earlier and it’s mostly been good except apparently the alt rock radio channel i listen to has a guy’s show in the morning where he talks and does not play alt rock. i don’t know why this is the same channel. enjoying alt rock does not make me interested in this loud man’s thoughts

video evidence

fucking crazy that i go off birth control and my hormones have me feeling like a teenager, and that’s when dan and phil decide to hard launch

People assigned female at birth be shopping

playing with my hair isn’t enough i need someone to paint my face

A quick note about money and comedy and power. www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/st...

i’m emotional about when Challengers came out and a divided world came together to agree that we all like the horny tennis movie

my evening plans? i’m going to eat a full chocolate bar then immediately fall asleep, and if there are any repercussions to this i WILL be indignant

I GOT MARRIED TODAY!!!!!

email formatting is my passion

it would be cool if we had more options for governor than one absolute fucking lunatic and one person who is refusing to point out how much of an absolute fucking lunatic the other one is in an attempt to appease moderates

Update: Civil War cancelled due to shooter being demographically uncooperative

i can’t ever leave social media because i couldn’t bear not being able to understand chris fleming’s niche references anymore

every time i go to my internship i pass a winsome earle-sears sign that says “LETS KEEP A GOOD THING GOING” and i am stunned at the idea that anyone regardless of political affiliation would run on the basis of “things are going really well right now” in 2025

watching Only Lovers Left Alive and i can’t stop laughing at the idea of your weird pale reclusive boss who is clearly a secret vampire getting sadder and sadder before eventually asking you to find a wooden bullet for them

i feel like i could get spike high off a one hitter and get him to agree with me that some early Vampire Weekend songs really fit his arc with buffy

vegan gritty abortion poptarts!!!!!

i FUCKING love Juno (2007)

what if they formatted ballots to just say like “not winsome earle-sears” and “not abigail spanberger”. i’m rarely excited to vote for a dem but i am happy to vote against republicans

eBay alert: Order update about your J Crew Mens Medium Cotton Crewneck Sweater me:

Watching a movie on Kanopy for free because I have a library card which is also free. Folks, if this ain’t livin

watching phantom menace for the first time ever. i truly went into this thinking everyone must be exaggerating about jarjar binks but now i feel violent any time he says anything

A review of an app called "air horn"

my sympathy to every cool fantasy author whose books have a quote comparing them to neil gaiman on the front

watching batman begins and singing “you are my dad, you’re my dad! boogie woogie woogie” every time bruce looks at alfred after he does something paternal

i love adults media i love childrens media i do not love adults going “what if we took this childrens media and made it OURS now?”

!!!!!

it seems fairly obvious to me at least that when i say i’m getting my masters degree in library science so i can be a librarian, the polite response isn’t “you need a masters to be a librarian?? why? it can’t be that hard to be a librarian”. and yet

i watched both Pretty in Pink and Sixteen Candles for the first time this week and it turns out John Hughes is simply obsessed with this trope

decks you with my big ass metal water bottle

in retrospect, elaine benes was so real for being obsessed with a big salad with lots of stuff in it. she was just simply correct

giving a thumbs down and booing quietly when we pass a tank on this drive, so the audience knows what my stance is on the american military