“Are you fucking with me? Are you—are you fucking with me right now? Ohhh, you’re fucking with me right now.” -My Dog

That Friday meeting that everyone hopes other people cancel. “We doing this? No? Oh darn. Darn, darn, darn.”

Javier Bardem is in attendance to support his team by staring soullessly at Belgium for the entire match.

I have a strategic coffee reserve in my house which has been amassed in the event thar that fuckwit (you know who I’m talking about) manages to destroy the global supply chain.

Three incredible things happening on this planet right now: 1. Ukraine beating the wheels off of Russia, 2. World Cup, 3. Count Binface.

There is a movie on Amazon called Watch Rocky Sleep in which you watch Rocky (from Project Hail Mary) sleep. It’s is 137 minutes long.

I bet TMZ can find Mitch.

France does stuff on the field that seems impossible with the mechanics of the human body, and the laws of the universe.

I dunno who buys stuff featured in YouTube ads. I just don't know how many nose clamps or power washer nozzles the nation needs.

Hear me out...

Got my reading pile down to three books from like eleventy hundred. Resisting the urge...

Hopefully IR Japan does better in the next World Cup.

I am certain Marco Rubio believes himself an American hero in this moment.

All insanity aside, Ol’ Binny is genuinely hilarious. youtu.be/aGOmzQbRT_E?...

The problem with Gerard Butler is that nearly all his movies are terrible and by extension I invariably just want his character to die so the flick ends.

You can tell how far an international comedian/actor's career has come based on the nationality listed in their wiki: Emerging: Canadian Featuring: Canadian-American Established: American-Canadian Celebrity: American

How does economics decide who wins the World Cup?

I can see it now: America invades Greenland, loses New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts, and California to Denmark.

Dude had to be at the last game to ruin it, now he doesn’t even need to be present. He can destroy from a distance. He’s like a Professor. X of shit.

All in all, the tournament made Seattle look really good

Damn, Canada, chill.

I'm so disillusioned, I almost don't even care who gets the FIFA Peace Prize next year

BEST WC EVER!!

A slow bleeding out that crescendos into a last minute goal against 😂

That the U.S. appears to have completely visibly given up after a catastrophic own goal fuck up is a little on the nose.

Pedal down, Belgium.

BlueSky/Ronaldo

Soccer analysts and commentators spend a lot of their careers dancing around stuff in plain sight.

I’d like FIFA to take another look at the Brexit vote.

Teams not resetting quickly, bitching & moaning to the ref, then they give up a goal at 90+1. Tsk.

Balogun's gonna play for England next World Cup.

I think a lot of folks forget that at one time even the "appearance of corruption" was enough to avoid such things.

The mature thing to do now is to turn our attention from our distaste for FIFA to our distaste for Ronaldo.

This US V. Belgium match is gonna be spicy.

A fortified position’s value is a function of what it costs to hold relative to what it returns.

I used to think that corruption was just a side effect of a system, but I’ve come to learn that corruption is a terminal effect on a system.

This is a real end-of-an-era World Cup. So many legends who might be nearing the end of the road. Ronaldo. Messi. Salah. Modric. FIFA. America.

The thing about it is that teaching kids that winning at all costs is totes cool and probably never leads to anything bad happening. Probably.

Trump: “I called FIFA and then the suspension was [wink] lifted.” (Some) Americans: “The card was bullshit anyway.” Dude(tte)s - Can you walk AND chew bubblegum at the same time?

Forget songs for teams winning at World Cup. How about songs for [record scratch] politician’s tenuous situations… 🎶 Should I stay, or should I go now? Should I stay, or should I go now? If I go, there will be trouble And if I stay, it will be double So come on and let me know

Bruv, they have to play in Miami?? The two whitest nations playing in Miami in July LMAO

Oh man, putting England and Norway, our palest countries, in Miami in July feels like a cruel prank

Your song is Wonderwall? You failed nation.

He extra times needs a hydration break.

Well, now, this is a fucking sport

You know what needs to be done, Starmer.

Just described to me as Mexican Stifler.

Alireza is a great name.

And now the singing of The Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen.

Nothing against the English, but Mexico is just more likeable.