be careful out there guys I left two tickets to melania’s film in my car and someone broke in and left two more

MELANIA has been nominated for Best Picture, Best Actress, Best Supporting Actress, Best Screenplay, and Best Cinematography in the FIFA Oscars

Wes Streeting is a clone, from the New New Labour clone factory.

Actually felt sorry for George tonight with Ruth putting the boot into him ever getting a job with Esme. I don’t think he has done anything that has affected her family so perhaps she could give him a break? #TheArchers

Sly Dunbar - a legend. RIP now with your bass brother Robbie #RIPSlyDunbar

Fine words from US Speaker in Parliament. Empty words in context of the US being run by a crime family for their benefit and their cronies. Not sure how many times we have to roll over and then get mugged again by Trump. That State Visit doesn’t seem to have done much good!

I don’t like seeing Woodgate in a scum tracksuit. #Lufc

Anthony Gordon's dedication to recreating all of Princess Diana's iconic looks is to be admired

Huzzah! Bridge Farm gets someone to get up at dawn for minimum wage! #TheArchers

Looking forward to more extensive coverage of the civil war about to break out in our hellhole cities.

Akram is a nice bloke but a bit of a mug? He should be making loads of money as a plumber. He has a very romantic notion of UK farming. #TheArchers

Is anyone that bothered about Burns night in Ambridge? #TheArchers

I think Will needs counselling over Nic more than George does for being a criminal! #TheArchers

I’m not really bothered who biffed George with a bottle. I’m more worried that Brian is going to die. Then it’s going to be like an agricultural version of ‘Succession’ #TheArchers

This detective is a nasty piece of work. #TheArchers

George has always been a bit of a bully and prison seems to have reinforced his view that the way to influence people is to threaten and intimidate people. He has been same with Brad despite him being one of few people who put up with him! #TheArchers

Why would Rex and Alice be talking about Chris being on a dating website? Also were they ever big friends? #TheArchers

I know George is behaving terribly, but is it because he is a member of the ‘undeserving poor Grundy’ family that his outcome has to be so grim? Alice has always been a terrible, unpleasant character but she gets to be redeemed.. #TheArchers

We really should have won that 3 or 4-1. But you would have taken a point from both Brentford & Sunderland away who have 2 of best home records. Great goal for team and DCL. #LUFC

Lovely to hear Esme’s lovely Welsh/Irish/Cornish lilt. Tom still a tit. Tony still a misery guts. Pat has been great recently #TheArchers

The incredibly right Joe Lycett is still the only good guest to go on Laura Kuenssberg's show. He nearly got her fired, and she hates being reminded of it, so don't RT.

A reminder that this is the same man who has just spent the past week calling all the Jewish victims of his own horrific anti-semitic abuse liars

I find Paul really annoying as he’s always so cheerful but in an annoying and unfunny way! #TheArchers

I know George divides opinion as he is mostly unlikeable, but I do get tired of the #TheArchers writers always giving the Grundys miserable story arcs. Alice gets to be redeemed, sober potentially one day manager of a farm. George will hurt himself or someone, go back to prison or worse die.

steve smith, you scored 17 on your specialist subject, "getting hit by jofra archer"

Enjoyed last night’s episode. Tom’s still a dick as always, don’t believe the Wren dreams sorry, Helen is smitten, Finlay the ex architect, part time handsome firefighter.. and Lillian finding that her own family don’t like her. #TheArchers

This Scottish holiday is a farce. But pleased if Tom misses out as I hate his guts. #TheArchers

Cor blimey, apples & pears, wot a bloomin cheek, ello John got a new motor? #TheArchers

Where are the protests?

And I thought Esmee would just go back to Ireland after the funeral. #TheArchers

Which does Rosie prefer more? Easter with the eggs or Halloween with all those sweets? Or is it Christmas with the buckets of Quality Street? #TheArchers

Will Esmee stick around or will she have to go back to Devon/Dorset/Scotland/Wales/Yorkshire or Ireland? #TheArchers

Pip is such a mean spirited miserable whinging, spoilt brat. #TheArchers

Adam, Ruarhri and Alice sound pretty pathetic squabbling about who should take over the farm. I thought it was on its knees anyway as wasn’t Brian wanting to sell if all the farm machinery a few weeks ago? I wouldn’t put any of those three in charge of anything! #TheArchers

I’m loving the way Esmee is uniting this great country of ours as she introduces accents from Scotland, Wales and various parts of Cornwall, Devon and Norfolk. #TheArchers

I think reason Tom is upset about paying players is that he wasn’t! He would have loved to be secretly paid. Remember when he & Natasha were happy to take the modelling cash for the twins from that dodgy company? #TheArchers

Does wooden plank Adam worry that Raurhi is more capable than him of managing the farm? #TheArchers

Is Pip actually jealous of a rescue dog? Think Cleopatra is in more danger from Rosie sitting on her. #TheArchers

I worry Kenton will end up getting himself charged with conspiring to pervert the course of justice if he starts getting George’s contacts to look for Marky . #TheArchers

Again: shock.

Loved listening to Stella and Ruth bring in the harvest. They sound so much better suited than Pip and Stella. #TheArchers

Stella needs to dump Pip, she didn’t sign up to be a parent to giant toddler Roseeee #TheArchers

I cannot be arsed with the whole Marky storyline. How does Marky and his cohorts know Kenton has identified the dangerous dog bloke? Also not paying Mick! #TheArchers

If Lynda is so desperate for help with making the fete a success, why was she positively aggressive to Dane offering to do so much for free!? I know Dane is annoying but…

Oh not the Markey story again! Wish bloody Kenton had taken those pills and put us out of our misery. #TheArchers

Did Amber say that the cleaner at her parents only came once a day!? Ha ha brilliant #TheArchers

Eddie is a lying, scumbag and thief from his own community. Amber is scamming or up to something, revenge I reckon! #TheArchers

I have loved Amber and Martin Gibson in the recent episodes. #TheArchers

I cannot be arsed with the Markey story. Hope he’s not coming back as the brummie criminal baddie. #youaintseenmeright?#TheArchers