One of the best threads of all time. Exactly why social media should exist. Smug cat behavior will outlive me and I take comfort in knowing that.

First person that comes to mind is Chris Cornell. I truly believe that his life's goal, above any artistic or monetary pursuits, was to sing so hard that at least one person's clothes would spontaneously burst off their body

Every so often, I guess you actually do gotta hand it to cancer

New seasons of The Pitt, Primal, and Shoresy all airing at the same time is my kind of celestial alignment

I'm suddenly very invested in the long-term success of a relationship for a pair of strangers

Rewatched Mob Psycho 100 recently, and I struggle to think of a better narrative arc centered around an impossibly overpowered protagonist. It's an improvement over One Punch Man in every way and an elegant little waltz around the Superman problem.

I think about this object interaction in Resident Evil 7 way, way, way too often

… and Tiny Tim, who will NOT return in Avengers: Doomsday,

Every email I get from LinkedIn is some variation of: 13 people have seen your profile this week but we won't tell you who, and here's a list of people we suggest you could connect with: - the current Prime Minister - an infamous alt-right grifter - Ryan Reynolds

Finished watching the first season of Heated Rivalry tonight, an excellent show that also confirms what I already knew, which is that hockey is the gayest sport

Oh so that’s how it ends Anyway,

The one and only time I tried to watch The Royal Tenenbaums, I got up to the introduction of Ben Stiller and his wiener kids wearing identical track suits, thought, "I really can't do this right now," and turned it off. And now that memory is funnier to me than the actual movie could ever be.

Gonna miss having weekly episodes of Pluribus for the next 1-3 years. Vince Gilligan really knows how to make watching a show feel like an event.

Christmas time is all about sitting in a Swiss Chalet with family, googling variants of “green liquid medicine 1970s” to settle an argument

Now entering another phase of "let's see what out-of-print physical media I can find for a decent price before that window closes forever"

(me at age 6, building a house out of lego) ha ha architects are so cooked

We’re quickly approaching the time of year where being alive feels like playing a roguelite for too long, and instead of starting another calendar year right away I wouldn’t mind saving and quitting and doing something else for a bit

Looking forward to seeing the last episode of Stranger Things soon so I can go “oh so that’s how it ends” and then never think about it again

#3157 A helpful tutorial

Presenting the best utterance of the word “what” in all of film history

Showing the movie Empire Records to anyone born after the year 2000 would kill them as if they were a Victorian child

In a Crocs store for the very first time and I’ve determined that these are just Funko Pops for your feet

In 2016 I saw a player in Pokemon Go named BIGCUMMER69 and I’ve thought about that guy at least a couple times a year every year since

Five Nights at Freddy’s dares to ask the question “what if a C-tier Goosebumps episode was two hours long”

onlooker: watch out! there's a terminator after you! me: (terrified) oh god! onlooker: made by elon musk! me: (relieved) oh, haha, that's nothing

Had a dream last night about Robert Patrick opening a tea shop called Tea 1000, and then I woke up annoyed because that’s a better bit than anything my conscious brain has come up with all week

Modern wisdom is seeing a new term go viral on social media and deciding you’re okay with never finding out what it means

"you don't watch american news anymore?" nah man if I really want to see the world's biggest cunt do some more cunt things I'll just watch an episode of House

a stoned bette midler, gently, to her sandwich: 🎵 did youu everrr knowwww that you’re my gyyyyyro 🎵

I applied to a job tonight that I’m probably underqualified for, but it’s all good because I also wrote the world’s dumbest cover letter to prevent them from focusing too much on my qualifications

Change the company name to Forb and steal a bunch of office supplies on my way out

Even after all the years of hype, starting to watch Deadwood for the first time does not disappoint. Really digging it so far.

Sometimes I think about returning to libraries simply for the incomparable workplace vibe

Everyone should have a cat that looks at them like this

Selling stuff on marketplace sucks, because a lot of the time either no one wants the thing, or exactly one person wants the thing and it always feels like an extraterrestrial weirdo using the interaction with you to practice how to pretend to appear human

Now that bsky has bookmarks, I’m doing a very good job of saving a bunch of posts to look at later that I never remember to look at later

Every time someone sends me a link to an Honest Trailer vid with a runtime of n minutes, I always think it's about n-1 minutes too long

What video game do you consider perfect?

I said “no” so fast that a sonic boom blew out all my windows

I once described this show as being "the perfect amount of horny" and I continue to stand by my assessment

I won’t even say this movie doesn’t deserve the score it got. It does. It absolutely sucks and I like it anyway.

(clears throat) the cellowship

Alien: Earth feels like it has a lot of wasted potential. I keep thinking this show could be *great* and instead it’s just… it’s fine.

This is going to have some serious ramifications for how my mind will process watching anime

I want this poster as a t-shirt