So interesting to hear the ppl on an early date next to me - the young woman mentioned a toxic ex who put her down tho she found his overconfidence attractive initially - the young dude is attentive & friendly but keeps making flippant jokes that are put-downs, an odd energetic rhyme w/her past.

If some of you put “A world with only white people” on your Christmas list as a joke, it’s time to shout “JK!” They’re taking you too seriously

A haunted house for creatives where the ghosts whisper “Are you saying you’re ‘avant-garde’ when you mean ‘unsuccessful’?”

always knew he was the best character actor of his generation but this really is a remarkable transformation

Strawberry-dot-me has an eerie vibe, right?

Alarmed at how similar my cheese puffs and packing peanuts look.

Dress to express 🌟

Some songs feel like people you grew up around. Even when they’re gone, the sound still knows their shape.

I think popcorn should be sold at all events.

Comin’ in hot at my new book club

🩺🩻🧑‍⚕️

Women’s circles are the original fuzzy logic ➿➿➿

RIP Catherine the Funniest 💙

Have wondered for quite a while why we don’t call kittens “kittles”

Have never wanted this

Next show!!! 🎻🎷

Tonight I heard another script of mine read and felt the ripples of laughter reverberate the room and realized that sharing work can really bring people joy.

New to Austin activism and already being a huge bitch to get things done

Used a waterfall of decaf black coffee to thaw my hands while working today.

A pet grooming salon called “Shed”

Accidentally laughing, screaming, throwing up into a mic

Gd don’t scare me like that

I’m taking requests on what to do with my one wild and precious life

My sink is TOO GOOD. It will not drip

CAREENING OFF MY ROOF RN

One (minor in the grand scheme) aspect that bothers me about leaders in the past year who have sent emails to employees asking for a memo of what they do: it’s lazy & entitled. A good leader would do the footwork to know who’s working for them and how tf their org works. Hit that step count! Say hi!

When I realize that I’m doing something solo that other people might do with a partner, I counter the small landslide of self-judgment with “I’m not just doing this alone. I’m doing this in peace without a parasitic, annoying, ill-fit partner draining the life out of me!”

Why does “Mister Thang” sound so much worse than “Miss Thang”?

Do it for the plot.* *the plot is my stable routine

In order to maintain a 5-star rating, a hostel needs to contain at least 7 Australians at any given time. This is in honor of their seven-pointed star

Fav family group chat lately

My sleep schedule has been bizarro garbage this week (ex. I’m baking veggie buffalo wings in my oven rn), so I dunno if I’m entering my SNL sketch writer era or if I need to tell my body I love everything that she’s doing to get her to cooperate with adult life or what.

Shocked at the brevity of my new loop pedal’s manual 😯

OKAY BRITISH PEOPLE drop the accent WE KNOW YOU”RE FAKIN IT

Send to parents re: yr art

What level of cholesterol do you think this helps maintain?

My plumber seemed touched that I gave him a cranberry sparkling water on his way out. People like treats!

A reminder to people being tear-gassed by ICE, protesters in Hong Kong used leaf blowers to lessen the impact of the irritant.

I think my neighbor is going through his “I can sing like Jeff Mangum” phase, and while we are all entitled to this, it’s a little rough for me to be at home when he practices.

Soundtrack of January 2026 for some reason: A.C. Newman’s “On the Table” 🎹🎹🎹 I love songs that feel like a fête where the crowd freaks out 🎊😃

Weather makin no senze

Where were you when @musicologyduck.bsky.social was kidnapped?

I’m athletic except in the sense of like making a sphere or elliptoid do anything in particular

The only perk that makes me want to join a church is wafting carafes of coffee 👃♨️☕️

This rating people’s attractiveness by numbers has never made sense to me, because now we’re suddenly gonna act like beauty is NOT in the eye of the beholder?!

Bought the CVS brand of Castile soap with a tame label, and I kinda miss the conspiracy theorist blog vibe of Bronner’s tbh

Weirdly feeling kinship with this cat. 🫩😮‍💨

Another fun oneeeeeeeeee (what’s the sound of an extended silent e?)