Sorry I didn’t blend up them beans

It’s our preanniversary!

I can’t be trusted in the craft store with only a *loose plan*

vinegar

Sorry I’m late, I got half a lyric stuck in my head and had to scour the internet to figure out what song it was in order to feel peace again.

ollie and I are bad at texting each other in any real capacity during the work day so our conversation is just us messaging the word “love” back and forth into eternity

Going to start chasing Ollie around the house and whacking him with a broom when he Misbehaves

I wish my new memory foam slippers a very Arrive Soon please please please god

how will people at my wedding know that I’m wearing white because I’m a little ghost not the bride

Travel scrabble related psychosis

This situation sucks so astronomically badly that I’m actually just deciding it’s awesome

From flop… to fierce

We’re all born naked and the rest is clown

Hamster dance tamping

Not sure if I have night blindness or just autistic

This month is all about z and katie

when I transferred, my assigned roommate told me she and the rest of the household didn’t want me to room with them (because they were all on crew) so loyola let me pick my roommates (awesome) and then the crew girl ended up being assigned as my physics lab partner on the first day of classes lmao

The autumn I became a certified foot surgeon

If I ever call you “just to catch up”, just know it’s psychologically the equivalent of me sawing my own leg off for you

I’m tryna win the mother frikin’ costume contest!!!

On a date with my beloved fiancé and he’s completely spaced out apparently “thinking about different types of beer”

Hate it when you’re going through something harrowing but it’s also gross so you can’t talk about it

In many cases, autism causes Tylenol

I do it to myself: subjecting myself to the triad of brokeback mountain, a separate peace, and the history of sound within a two month period

Is there anyone in the world in my life who would see mcr with me next year

Imagine receiving a party invitation from these 3 baddies

While I certainly did not appreciate getting my period 6 days late, I am thrilled that I am no longer scheduled to be starting my period on my wedding day… the lord provides

I never leave the house without my SPF (sweet potato fries)

As soon as someone points me to a reliable fabric plug, I am about to get into capes in a way you clowns are not ready for

frying my brain trying to simultaneously source my Halloween costume and wedding outfit

And there are people who forget what it’s like to be sixteen when they turn seventeen!!!!

😱

The Cosmic Weight of Chores

absolutely tickled myself pink last night by playing the justice remix of electric feel and then running around the dance floor going “I PUT THIS ON HERE FOR THE MILLENNIALS!!!”

The chores never cease

Steel wool occupies a secret third sensory space - both hellish (scraping sensation, nasty wet food bits all caught in there) and delightful (incredible and speedy cleaning)

Georgie Porgie mode

One of the only things I miss about working in person is access to a functioning printer

HBD twin towers @joe-binky.bsky.social @thankswedge.bsky.social

My very favorite fuck boy with a heart of gold, vice president of people pleasers anonymous (and sometimes fellow gaslighter), and the ancient magical entity who’s entrusted me with directing their life. Happy birthday @thankswedge.bsky.social ✨✨✨

Official world record holder for Longest Time Spent Being Twenty-Six 🏆

When we wuz sluttin’ and flexin’ @thankswedge.bsky.social

and we do be matching

They’re tough and tender, they’re wise and wacky, they’re silly and sweet, they’re 27 today!

HBD to my birthday twin!! Can’t wait to be a toxic duo with you this weekend

SOMEoomf just rose to the top of the favorite friend list!

I love lists!!!! I love checking things off my lists!!!!

For those curious

doomed to only take blurry photos of the (real this time) ring