divorcing my ai wife because her boobs aren’t bouncy enough

so hrt causes cancer in kids but not literal UV rays. okay.

liberals believe consent is a one-time deal and not an on-going conversation on boundaries and it informs their views on both sex and politics as such

the sims 3 made me believe that the newspaper just gave you a job

nobody expects a spanish mf to be inquisitive

i want liberals to know once and for all: biden did not win because of his merit, or his long history of being in politics, but because of lockdown and mail-in voting. had trump managed COVID better, or the dems ran Hillary again, he would have won in 2020 too. biden did not win by merit, full stop.

it’s funny - when we try to warn y’all we’re being reactionary and hyperbolic. when y’all realize we were right all along, you pretend like this is some revelation. rinse and repeat ad nauseam. biden let trump off, set gaza to be pummeled, backtracked COVID, & gave harris the nomination; fuck him.

i can’t imagine a worse father than elon musk

i’m high on life and fent

it’s my birthday :3

first they came for hasan piker but i not speak out for i was not a twitch stan then they came for the shitposters but i did not speak out for i was not an X user

getting IDed for a whopper combo with a large dr. pepper and onion rings (sub fries)

looksmaxxers are just cis men with gender dysphoria

jibjab was the ai slop of christmas before ai was real

me (no idea how commas work): damn do these idiots know how to use a comma?

lowkey wild how nothing happens politically until i hear about it

i declare myself king of the “new permanent underclass”

i’m so sick of hearing about trump’s balls. every day i check the news and trump’s big hairy balls are in the headlines. as if i don’t have my own problems

I am no longer accepting "we're cooked" as a position on anything. Fuck off I'm not cooked!!!

for some reason, I don’t believe the grab em by the pussy guy has “never raped anyone”

was just at the gas station, and a middle aged guy yells at me “what are you? male or female?” and i say i’m a man. he gives me the peace sign and walks off. he really called me clocky and then strolled away. what a world.

the word you’re looking for is “illegitimate” - the supreme court is not flawed, it is not “in decline,” it is non-functional. ever since its inception, the court has used its unfettered power to bolster segregation, limit necessary healthcare, maintain hegemony, and protect oligarchy; dismantle it.

the labor theory of value reigns supreme

what if remy had to tug around linguine’s balls instead of his hair in ratatouille? could he still be a chef?

travis pickle

the nazis wouldn’t have gone after pedos considering hitler fucked his underage niece but whatever

everybody says “this country sucks” but what about all those white guys who get personally offended when you say that? who’s thinking of them?

i mean… yeah? i prefer my political parties morally upright, and my nations non-apartheid. i’m not sure why you think this makes you sound like a hero?

assassination attempts will continue until morale improves

guy who makes up his own idioms: dude you are missing the penis for the balls

i don’t know how many moral panics i have left in me before i just start flinging molotov cocktails at small businesses

in case anyone cares

this was the post that killed the white house bluesky account

trump can only dodge the reaper so many times. at some point, he’s gotta face the music. god’s timing is always right.

so everything that happened after 9/11 to destroy privacy in the name of “anti-terror” has been either (1) a colossal failure, or (2) a ploy to get Americans comfortable with the panopticon, whilst offering us nothing in return. either way, the American people lost, and big tech backed terror won.

the cockroach (right before climbing in my ear and dying):

“my little johnny loves the ai stories!” your child will never be able to read above a third grade level

my SSI case has finally moved to the appeal stage. when did i file the paperwork? october of 2024. “why don’t you just get on disability if you’re disabled” bc they won’t let me.

hats off to the bolsheviks honestly i would’ve shot a nuke at the romanovs

damn i didn’t know tim was cool like that

i hate being A/B tested so fucking much. like you wanna pick my little brain to see which button elicits the maximum dopamine? i just won’t click anything. you fucking fool. you total fucking imbecile. try to get data on that, bitch.

i make twenty frausand dollars a month sports betting

“tyranny of the apps” sounds like the worst sci-fi novella ever written. like what do you even mean? you download apps yourself???

democracy means we are allowed to disagree with politicians, and we are allowed to express that disagreement via a withholding of support. your expectation that those with (understandable) reservations will support you anyway is entitlement. you think your voting bloc is beneath you - and we notice

now that ICE will be acting as police at airports and trump is killing cubans en masse can we finally come to grips with the fact that we are in the third red scare? can we finally admit the cold war never ended?

what if you woke up tomorrow and the charlie bit my finger kid was dead? what then?

can we deport jordan peterson back to canada