more like "pang" at the pump. well, because, yeah, that's right, i'm yearning for better times

shakily removing my gary from. my pocket for a desperately needed laugh

[ashamedly deleting all my new drafts about diarrhea] forgot yall don't like to have fun on here.... forgot yal aren't fun like this...

[hitting every syllable with an intoxicating musicality] diarrheal illness...

sneezed after eating a meatball and honestly not quite sure if what came out wasn't actually bits of my brain or something

hmm,... was completely unaware of these.... intriguing

FINALLY. gummies for us ADULTS. and i absolutely LOVE that they taste like complete SHIT and are nearly IMPOSSIBLE to chew

locked alt on twitter got a 7 day ban for a stupid reason so now i have to log onto bluesky when i want to say stupid shit like "almost crashed my car cuz i was looking at a bird" and "connor o'malley got me barking like a dog," sorry

every other week i have to go through my backlog of far side desk calendar days because i always forget to check it. i call it my gary time, the time i spend looking through my gary's. its a time to center myself, be mindful, etc.

sweater i'm knitting looks like a high visibility vest. does anyone even care ????? does anyone even care...?

not fond of this one, gary.... it doesn't tickle me

r/mildly interesting vestigial brussels sprout on my brussels sprout. the vestigial brussels sprout is usually absorbed before birth...

watching the lympics

i used to think everything was bullshit and nothing mattered and then i found a really big potato chip in the bag. like massive. and basically..... it changed my whole worldview

@mathliker.bsky.social didn't know you were in town promoting your business

AAAAHHH!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! AH! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

the 9am - 10am showings at the movie theater are for those of us movie lovers who are profoundly alone. do not show up to the 9am - 10am showings with your partners or loved ones. it is disrespectful to us loners

[little bit of costco hot dog still in my hair from earlier today] how's it hanging, big dog ? how's life ?

Stinker's #WorkSoup of the Week:

when you pick up one of those primo used book copies that's wonderfully annotated

so awesome how they fuck yoi up big time at the eye doctor and then they just let you get into your big asss car and drive yoself home

today's larson

and what is when you close your eyes really tight and imagine them kissing each other.... ?

closing my eyes and letting the calming waves of hairless homer wash over my troubled mind

a thanksgiving feast for @stinker.bsky.social 🍗

How To Get A Scare in the year 2025

kind of an optional step when making hummus but separating the chick pea soul from the chick pea makes it a little smoother

found a v large and lethargic hornet on the ground and used a paper napkin to pick it up and move it into a little flower bed. it slowly climbed onto the napkin and clung to it very cutely like it knew i was helping even tho it probably didn't. no pictures due to i was scared for my life, of course

thinking about buying a 106-count case of tater kegs off the restaurant supply website just to feel something...

yooooo.. they brought back my beautiful man.... they let him work again....

i trapped @crannyboy.bsky.social 's soul in my turnip pot pie.... muahahaha haha #evil

i'm always wanting to say shit like "yes sir" and "excellent sir" and "right away sir" that's how you know i'm fully locked in to the butler mindset

halloween pfp for my friend lil stinker and it’s actually about halloween

cat food is like: "miss bitchly's beef, Turkey, chicken, and salmon carcass melange in a thick and rich gravy liquid" dog food is like: "BLUE RIBBON: TOP PERFORMANCE dry kibble for senior living: diarrhea control" girl food is like: a small nutrient dense pellet of some sort ?

wargen, dear, wherever you are...... we need you..... we need you to stream VHS halloween for us.... we need you to join us in boneyard chat and talk shit......

awesome new feature on the youtube app....

the ophthalmologist office is like: look straight into my pain laser. don't blink. if you blink we will kill your family. ok, now i'm going to put something we call "pain drops" into your eyes. the reason is strictly to torture you...

Pilot over the intercom: uhhhhhhh we are all just flesh. We exist so briefly.

when you finally get to the small little cabbage inside the bigger larger cabbage.... like nature's russian nesting doll...

just milked this thing like an udder

all my ancient grain heads- just bought some farro at the store. no immediate plans but going to probably eat it eventually. just letting yall know!

weevil clinging to my windshield as i drive 75 mph down the highway... godspeed

some more leaves that were lost this week

some friends of mine

this was really bad :^/

this fanta gonna hit so damn hard after this week i've had

anytime i feel too tired or discouraged or afraid to go on i think of my beautiful chinese fanta. such a lovely shade of blue. i wonder what color her liquid is..?

got myself a little something to look forward to at the end of the week. a little something something to get me through. a beautiful chinese fanta, of course

twitter isn't working so i have to post this here: ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh........... OUUUUUUuuuuUuuUuuuuugh