I was mentioned in the Doofus Dispatch

I think science is fucking bullshit

This shit sucks ass dude

Viewbotting my zoom interview

I'm gonna fucking get you @jonk.bsky.social im really doing it this time

I don't give a shit!!!!!!!!!!!

What's an Australian's favorite anime? "Naur"-uto

White people are always trying to "get over the hump" on some shit

I'm going to wring you out @jonk.bsky.social

The apeman Tarzan sold me an eighth of weed this evening

My insect homie Bobby Big Bugs

They made a new fighter jet that sucks the pilot off

Basically I play this character online where I pretend to be a huge idiot

An argument is basically an irl flame war

Oscar the Gouch

Kissing Tarzan left a film in my mouth

$19 pancreas, who wants it

Unveiled our new product, Beyond Diarrhea, today. The investors were thrilled, to say the least.

I'm having dinner next week with Cedric Vacuumcleaner. We will of course be discussing business.

Professional wrestler named Rocky Rhodes and his gimmick is that he's a discourteous I've cream truck driver

There should be some shit called "Business Jerky" for snacking on during business meetings

My homeboy Victor is always getting some spoils

How different might my life had been had, in 7th grade, I never saw my friend's older brother playing Diablo 2

Batman is short for Batrid Manuel

This is total bullshit.

He looks like a little boy who went missing in 1953 that they found 20 years later mummified in a salt cave

My buddy Jeff Teriyaki inherited a fortune

Guys don't really get tossed in the slammer anymore.

More like Netanyahoo the way this guy must have lost his damn marbles

(Foghorn Leghorn on twitch) I say I say mah goose is cooked chat

How about this Windows Vista

Airborne elements of the Iranian Revolutionary Guards have begun their assault outside Bastrop, Texas

I hope Iran sends a few of those drones to Austin, Texas

There's only zero genders

Im retiring from public life

They should

Everyone want to be a bug but don't nobody want to eat garbage

There's 280 days until Thanksgiving so remember to take your 1300+ pound turkeys out of the freezer now

A Hulking Presence approaches your door. Do you offer it succor?

Local Men are always suffering some sort of grim fate

At the leftist commune I'm going to be the guy helping everyone with their retirement portfolios

I'm getting a divorce from the game

(tossing some beef jerky to my nephew) here ya go kid here's a little walkin around jerky

White boys are always drinking some shit called Wonder Juice

At the bar with the Lesbian who looks like Gucci Mane

I'm taking my girl to the Stakeholder Nighttime Walk

Come swing by the function later bro. My homeboy is going to be butlering

Having a party for all of the biggest dipshits, dummies, morons, stupids, idiots, dimwits, imbeciles, oafs, blockheads, simpletons, numbskulls, cretins, dunces, doofuses, nitwits, ignoramuses, dullards, half-wits, fatheads, clods, scatterbrains, and dopes in town

It's Free Chihuahua Day down at the Shop Rite. Spend $15 and get a free chihuaha style dog

Just took 2d4 poison damage from an email