One thing I’ve learned from reading graffiti: A lot of people can’t spell.

Met a guy who was excited cuz he heard Trump used an exec order to cut credit card rates to 10% & I said that's not a thing he can do & he's dismantling the Consumer Protection Bureau & he said I was wrong & I thought this is the fault of our education system & then found out we went to the same HS

Have any of you noticed more brussel sprouts that have mold? My human stopped buying them because she was having to discard too many.

Beautiful voice! youtu.be/gb3I13kaYv4?...

Meanwhile, in Canada...

This morning’s presentation didn’t go very well. Although the puppy photos were endearing, we didn’t know where they came from and we were in that meeting to discuss matters related to the economy. I may give up modern technology and go back to the chalkboard/typed page method.

You know you're getting old when your wife says, 'Honey, let's run upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'I can't do both.'

New Year, new me.

What do you call a horse that moves around a lot? Unstable...

Is someone grating parmesan cheese, or do I need to think about changing my socks this week?

A Great Horned Owl hoots 🔊 and its mate responds before flying out in Inwood Hill Park. 🦉 ❤️

Overheard in the drugstore: “Don’t buy that brand. Elroy had an incident with that toilet paper.” That was a few years ago, and the vague trauma suffered by the mysterious stranger, Elroy, still haunts me.

Apple News paywall #SanFrancisco apple.news/AFYpBYJ9VRHm...

Astoria the Wild Turkey perched on a planter by the Staten Island Ferry terminal Monday during her Financial District adventure. Her friends helped her across the street and safely back to The Battery. 🦃 ❤️

I know this building isn’t well insulated for sound, but do we have to hear our next door neighbor change the toilet roll? Those spring-loaded things are loud, but the sound shouldn’t travel THAT well.

I've just accidentally sent a naked photo of myself to everyone in my address book! Not only is it embarrassing, it's cost me a fortune in stamps!

The sound of sleigh bells came from my human’s phone a few minutes ago. If people who lived hundreds of years ago were here to see this stuff now, they’d say we were really weird.

While pacing the subway platform, he burped, regretting his inability to resist pickles. I’m not at liberty to say any more about this.

I sorely regret saying that you should live with zero regrets.

A Question: Where were the cows when all of these decisions were made? Miriam never would have allowed anyone to paint the walls blue. A horrible shade of blue. Cows are slowly losing their authority, and it’s a problem.

This happened on California Street between Leavenworth and Hyde. apnews.com/article/san-...

“That public restroom amplified and echoed every sound,” my human said, as she walked into the apartment tonight. “How do you know that?” I asked. Now she isn’t speaking to me.😳😖😬🤣

This morning I was standing in line at the local coffee house, and overheard an innocent exchange that’s causing me to overthink: “My dog is a gooflet and a sillypie,” someone said. “Well, she IS a puppy,” his friend replied. Maybe the conversation improved after they had coffee.

Herbst Theatre, San Francisco.

Duck jokes aren't for everyone, but they sure quack me up!

What's the best part about going out to eat with a duck? He's always stuck with the bill.

I always keep my guitar in the car now. It's good for traffic jams.

Dr. Offit is right I fear. the only way to reverse the distrust these Republicans have caused in science is for many people to start dying of preventable illnesses. RFK JR and his ilk are no better than the Taliban who caused Polio to spread by telling people vaccine caused infertility!

It’s really not that hard to be nice to others

*guy who fixes the direction the toilet paper roll faces in the bar bathroom*

My wife told me that I'd never accomplish anything in life because of my procrastination. I replied, Just you wait!

Some arrogant slob used a few vague, ill-informed literary quotes when he wanted to prove my bovine friend, Miriam, wrong. He was challenging an educated cow. I hope he didn’t have illusions of winning THAT debate, but he sure seemed confident— until he heard her reply.🤣 🐮

I know. You expected me to share this.🤣

We’re safe in our apartment. Human has to go out later, but she can walk in the other direction. #SanFrancisco www.kron4.com/news/bay-are...

Please, everyone. Please show respect for the arts. Think carefully while reading, watching or listening to something creative. Often, there’s substance you won’t find unless you look for it.

Yesterday, someone was yelling, “SILLY PUPPY ALERT! SILLY PUPPY ALERT!” while walking a young dog who was trying to run in three directions at once. I ran for my life, but in retrospect I’m wondering if that man was begging for assistance rather than issuing a public safety warning. 1/

Fire by The Ohio Players. My human was a teenager when that recording was released, and she always looked forward to the laugh.

No one will agree on the answer to this. However… Asking the question in the first place is a step in the right direction.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Lionel and I share a couch in our human’s apartment. We have our differences, but we agree on so much, too.

Evacuation Shelters: Mammoth Lakes Middle School 1600 Meridian Blvd. Mammoth Lakes, CA 93546 Tri-County Fairgrounds 475 Sierra Street Bishop, CA 93514

“I have a theory.” I’ve been told that a teddy bear can make a room go silent by saying that. I’ll try that, but will have to follow it with something really interesting to prevent disappointment. This business of being a teddy bear is not easy. So much planning involved.

As buttresses fly, I remain calm. Just kidding. I get as panicked as everyone else.