Sorry for having great tits and correct opinions

One of my favourite things about this industry is hearing my friends gush about other providers they met. I love hearing about your crushes, platonic or otherwise!

I’m trying to be less of a sensitive wee flower but people farting and burping on public transport will never not be gross to me 🤢

Sheffield, I’ll arrive tomorrow afternoon and I’ll make sure to pack my toys! Who’s going to meet me there?

Question for my chic colleagues: What’s your most comfortable travel outfit? I need recommendations, especially for trousers!

Last night I dreamed about getting myself off and woke up disappointed I forgot my vibrator at home. Had to go analog (manual) 🫢

Guess what’s for dinner?

Location: Germany Arrival day & time: Wednesday, 6pm Pretzels consumed so far: 2 🥨 Döner kebabs consumed so far: 0 (I gotta do something about that)

Last tours of the year: NOVEMBER: 🩵 Sheffield | 18-21 🩵 Glasgow | 26-29 DECEMBER: 🩵 London | 3-5 🩵 Glasgow duos w @hellochelseyp | 11-13 🩵 Edinburgh | 16-18 🩵 Glasgow | 18-21

There's been a wee change to my London dates. I'm now available: Sunday 9th (tomorrow!) Monday 10th Tuesday 11th I'll leave early on Tuesday unless I have prebookings, so get in touch soon to avoid missing me! 📩 Email: [email protected] ☎️ Text/WhatsApp if you have my number

Client cancelled with extremely short notice. If anybody fancies taking his spot, I am now free between 9-10:30am. Reach out by email or text if you’ve got my number x

Can we stop it with the fireworks already? It’s torture for animals and it’s bad for the environment as well. My best friend’s dog is crouching under the dining room table in fear and can’t stop shaking, the poor thing 💔

I’ll take Mcdonald’s over Five Guys any day

Make me a proposal I can’t refuse 😉

Today!

I love my PT but the Bulgarian split squats she makes me do are going to be the death of me 💀

Glasgow, 5-8 November! That’s Wednesday to Saturday (although Saturday is already fully booked)! Who’s going to slide under the covers with me?

Sharon Olds: After Making Love in Winter

It’s November! My birthday month! Are you going to celebrate with me? If you can’t spend time with me in person this month, but still want to send me birthday wishes, you could do so online: throne.com/dannidarling 🎁✨

It’s been too long since I p!ssed on a man 💛 Where are my p!ss kink guys?!

Glasgow next week! Dates have been amended to 5-8 November. You can use the contact form on my website or send me an email if you’re keen x

That’s so considerate!

PSA: The dates of my next Glasgow tour have changed slightly. I’m now going to be in Glasgow from 5-8 November. Please use the contact form on my website if you’re interested, or text me if you’ve already got my number 💋

What is it about some regulars slowly growing resentful about having to pay? I have noticed this is more the case with men who book 4+ hours than the ones who book 1 or 2 hours at a time

I’m serious 😈

Anybody wanna go to Paris? I’ve heard the Louvre is nice 😏

It’s incalls of 2+ hours or outcalls of min. 90 minutes only for the rest of this tour, gents x

Doing a lil Ask Me Anything on Instagram! www.instagram.com/german_danni... Your chance to satisfy your curiosity! But please keep it PG 💋

Can you spot the two butts?

I went to Dublin and learned about the Salmon of Knowledge. Zero notes, 10/10

Updated London availability: Tue, 21st: FULLY BOOKED Wed, 22nd: 1:30-2:30pm Thu, 23rd: all day Fri, 24th: 8am-12pm

Halfway through October - one tour left! London, are you ready for me?!

Steamy 💦

If it was legal to bake cakes and legal to sell cakes but it was illegal to advertise cakes and illegal to buy cakes, do you think cake bakers will have a better or safer work-life? Do you think the people willing to commit a crime to buy a cake will be a safe customer?

As a historian, I can certify that we are in the bad times. But bad times eventually end. In the meantime: • Figure out a small way to help someone • Figure out a small way to fight back • Figure out a small place to find joy • Figure out a small way to grow and thrive And do it often.

Dreaming about the food I had with my friends a few weeks ago 🤍

Anybody want to take me to dinner and a play on the 23rd? Or maybe a lil afternoon tryst on the 22nd? Breakfast on the 24th?

This really sweet client used to send me lil treats every time I got my period. Deliveroo vouchers, mostly, so I could buy myself chocolate and get takeout when I’m too unwell to stand up for longer periods of time to cook/prepare food. I miss them 🥲

finally tried a tens machine last night and I have to say, I didn’t hate it (but I still had to smoke some 🍁 to help with the pain)

London availability: Tue, 21st: FULLY BOOKED Wed, 22nd: 1:30-4:30pm Thu, 23rd: all day Fri, 24th: 8am-12pm

I’m excited for my trip to London the week after next! Booked a couple of cool things already and can’t wait to see what else the city has in store for me! My availability is limited so get in touch today if you want to meet 💋

Forever torn between wanting to explore the world and wanting to stay home with my elderly cat (we’re besties and idk how much time we’ve got left together)

Unfortunately I do love: - a bandwagon - being gifted jewellery - Italian leather bags - spa dates - 5 star hotels - Michelin star restaurants - cuddling on the couch - kisses in the jacuzzi - surprise gifts from my wish list

You’ll get one more chance to see @meetchelseypeach.co.uk and me together in Glasgow this year! December 11th & 12th!

“Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain”. Thanks for coming out to see me during storm Amy, Mr P! That’s true dedication!

Thanks to one guy ghosting me when it was time to pay a deposit, my Edinburgh tour is cancelled. Sorry to the other two clients who were willing to put down deposits. Two hours are simply not enough to make going to Edinburgh worth my while!

Dinner with my girls @jo-fleur.bsky.social, @meetsummerreid.bsky.social and @amadinlondon.bsky.social. Even the least photogenic dish (the mushroom risotto) was fantastic! Only surpassed by the fabulous company 🥰

A last minute cancellation now means I have a small sliver of availability today from 12-13:30. Email me with your phone number if you’re keen! 💋

the meaning of life is having dinner with a beautiful woman

Remember September (and hello October!) 🍂