fuck it, we're listening to Rush

screw New York worms Knicks 🤝 causing problems in texas

please shut up about the 82-0 thing

*girls on film voice*

Robert Pattinson is so good when he’s playing a weird little creep

one neat difference between VGK and the Canadiens is that Vegas actually shoots the puck towards their opponent’s net in an attempt to score goals

I would have taken the gun *and* the cannolis, but I’m built different

Welp there’s no unseeing this

my man was absolutely locked in at the Nashville trucks race

who’s got three thumbs and just got out of jury duty??? I will not be taking questions at this time

STOP 👏 POSTING 👏 SHITHEADS 👏 TO 👏 THE 👏 TIMELINE 👏

*Drake ewww face* gas station viagra *Drake yay face* gas station heroin

forgot Careless Whisper was George Michael without Andrew Ridgely Whamnesia

au revoir Montréal

congrats to the Montreal High School Canadiens for getting this far. punched way above their weight for so long!

do the Canadiens know they are playing tonight

Gorilla Playing Saxophone with Balloons has dropped out of the White House concert

well a four year old just asked me if I wanted to play cars with him, so yeah you could say my Friday is going amazing

in honor of Claude Lemiuex, here's the best and most deserved sucker punch of all time youtu.be/E7J8pvG70nE?...

COUNTERPOINT: ducks love Flavor Country too

god damn the Canadian national anthem kicks ass

you gotta spend money to lose money

honestly… the end of Hook where the kids are back home safe but the mom doesn’t realize it yet

CREATING A SHIPPING LABEL IS NOT A SHIPPING UPDATE

you died with significant wealth but no plan on where the money goes? will issue

me, reacting the news of the day

you don’t ever need a thermometer to take your kid’s temperature. just see if their forehand is hot and react accordingly

that’s right, it’s homemade pickle time

free tip for the Spurs next year: win way more of your games

just met a dog named Fluffington. as advertised

the odds are long but Tottenham getting relegated would be Extremely Hilarious

not to toot my own horn but I always say “have a great day” and sometimes the clerk seems shocked to hear it

it’s a banner day for the “we really needed this rain” crowd

Too busy for his son's wedding

Ok folks: odds on Joe getting injured while waiting are -1000, place your bets now

the Merlin app is a goddamn miracle

got a trebuchet

I’ll be at the last day of the Calgary Stampede this year and may I say FUCK YES

if you see a faded sign at the side of the road that says fifteen miles to the

gonna dance on the floor hit the ground

ROOM TEMPERATURE TAKE: the way Law & Order’s Detective Ed Green answers his cellphone is ridiculously overdramatic

feels like cheating to say Modern in New Haven, but… Modern

this reminds me of when the Red Sox won their first World Series in forever, the first thing my Sox loving buddy did was call and say “fuck you bitch” to me which was hilarious! but does go to the OP’s point

I still believe arsenal can find a way to blow it

is there a cliff mode that can also be engaged

the earliest know instance of Poster's Regret

*wet blanket from a multiple-time poll worker voice* I get the urge here but this creates a lot of extra work at the polls. each write-in has to be hand-counted and adds soooo much extra time at the end of a very long day