My mum is working in Newport today. Thought Bluesky might enjoy this text exchange we just had.

I belong to quite a number of Facebook groups that revolve around sharing cute and/or funny pictures of cats, dogs and so on. They all have a really pleasant vibe. That is why it's been *so* gut-wrenching to see EVERY SINGLE ONE of them invaded by AI slop. Can we truly not have nice things any more?

I'm well aware of the strong case against Angela Rayner for prime minister. At the same time, it will be truly galling if Labour passes up *yet another* opportunity to choose a female leader in favour of *yet another* white bloke, when the Tories have been led by four women, currently one of colour.

I'd personally MUCH rather see a high-budget drama about the chicken-frying Borgias of Dublin than yet another one about the sister-fucking Borgias of Renaissance Italy. Make it happen, someone.

I feel oddly humbled when I see Ukrainians laying into Trump, because they've truly *earned* that hatred, in a way hardly anyone in the rest of the world has. (Video by @freeonis.bsky.social)

In 2012, the artist/animator Nina Paley made a short film called "This Land Is Mine", that I think deserves to be far better known than it is. While it's not strictly historically accurate, as she'd be the first to admit, it captures something eternal about the Holy Land, especially at the very end.

Just bought a jar of sliced jalapeños from my local Co-op, for £1.35, and can't help marvelling at how inconceivable every part of that transaction would have been, even just a century ago, or half a century. Reliable global supply chains may be the biggest aspect of modern life we take for granted.

I am deflating my grapefruits to the size of testicles. We are not the same.

Because I'm the age I am, a large part of me will always think of the late 1990s and early 2000s as "the present", so it's startling to be reminded that, actually, they were a very, very long time ago. I just stumbled across this Fairy Liquid ad from 1997, which has dated in fascinating ways. (1/3)

In the right context, even "Happy Birthday Mum, love from Julie" can be a six-word short story to rival "For sale: baby shoes, never worn."

I would *never* have guessed these two are forty-nine years old. "Black don't crack" is a cliché, but so many black people really do seem to age spectacularly well.

"I don't know why you're so upset that I talked about your vagina to my million Twitter followers, darling. I *did* say it's in the top 1%. You should be flattered!"

Every time there's yet another antisemitic atrocity, part of me expects some bright spark to suggest Jews all move to a specially designated part of town, surrounded by walls and armed guards. For their own protection, you understand.

Like, a house is not a souvenir. It’s a highly expensive item in short supply. No you should not just hang on to it just for the memories. Let someone else enjoy a childhood in the same house you did.

Yeah, I mean it’s annoying to get slapped with tax for a house that you didn’t buy and are just trying to get rid of - but the entire reason for the tax is to make you get rid of it pronto. Also wanting to keep your parent’s home as a second home….

"I own a second home, now I'm classed as a second-home owner" Honestly, where do they find these people?

Graham Linehan just uploaded this to Twitter/"X", voluntarily, under the title "Green Party broadcast". There comes a point at which you genuinely have to feel sorry for the man, as hateful as he is. From one of our most talented comedy writers to... this. The most excruciating thing I've ever seen.

Did you know that, in 1991, Timmy Mallett, of Wacaday and "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" fame, tried explaining apartheid to children? He absolutely did. The real plot twist is... he did a pretty superb job of it. An exceptional job, in fact. They should have shown this in schools.

@portraitinflesh.bsky.social is right, "ripx" is a horrible account and this is just bullying. As @jamesomalley.co.uk says, "biology is real, don't be an arsehole about it".

Despite everything, Twitter/"X" can still be a special place. Where else can you see two global legends in their respective fields - tennis and chess, in this case - exchange casual banter? A small thing, but worth cherishing.

The Telegraph manages to publish the worst opinions on Fleet St. With the Daily Mail still in existence and the presence of OJ & Simon Jenkins in the Guardian it’s a significant achievement.

I think I've just read the worst opinion column ever written. It's not just wrong, it's also terribly written - by a novelist! - with staggeringly feeble arguments. If I were Viktor Orbán, I'd be mortified to have defenders like this. If I were the @telegraph.co.uk, I'd be embarrassed to publish it.

I think we're being too hasty to dismiss Trump's excuse for posting that blasphemous meme. Jesus returned from the dead, saved humanity, and has been depicted by countless different actors... maybe He really IS the Doctor!

"Hi, is that the Daily Mail? I was hoping you could let the entire country know my pub is run by a horrible cow, who spies on customers and rats them out to the press for doing nothing wrong whatsoever. No, there's no need to actually *tell* people to swamp me with one-star reviews, that's implied."

The thing about Israel/Palestine is that, *even if* you 100% side with Palestine, it's ultimately just a regional conflict, involving a few million people at most. Only the febrile and fetid imagination of antisemites, right *and* left, could make it the pivot around which all global politics turns.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I've found the Artemis II mission a real tonic. The first time in years I've felt as though humanity, working collectively, can aspire to *great* things, rather than spiralling deeper and deeper into an abyss of hatred, dysfunction and insanity.

Something on Twitter/"X" made me look up Gail Platt on Wikipedia, and I had to laugh at this intro. This is what happens, when you're a soap regular for decades on end: you accumulate spouses like a Hollywood A-lister. Steve McDonald has had just as many, I believe.

Passover, more than any other holiday, revolves around the deep, ancient connection between the Jewish people and the Land of Israel. I don't see how people like Owen Jones, who regard the modern state of Israel as inherently illegitimate, can partake without experiencing heavy cognitive dissonance.

Rote condemnations of settler violence aren't enough. We have to acknowledge that outrages like these are animated by *precisely* the same sort of mindless hatred that made Gazan militants and civilians butcher and rape thousands of Jews on October 7th, 2023. There must be no hierarchy of suffering.

To paraphrase John Waters: if you go home with someone, and they undress to reveal Mr Bean underwear, don't fuck them. Make an excuse and leave.

It's interesting, and revealing, how many people who like to claim expertise in "the Talmud" have never heard of tikkun olam, or "repairing the world", a core imperative in Judaism. That's why there are so many Jewish charities; they're not part of some nefarious scheme to get one over on the goyim.

Can confirm that Saturday night in that A&E is the definition of “challenging”. And doing it keeps her in touch with reality, which many MPs manage to avoid.

If working a shift as a qualified medical doctor is now "virtue signal[ling]", then that term really has become meaningless. It was originally coined to describe purely performative actions, entailing negligible personal effort or cost, but being an A&E medic is notoriously strenuous, and stressful.

I put a steaming hot apple pie on the windowsill, and not one wolf wearing a rolled up hat and patched dungarees floated over lifted by its nose

Not only do modern houses no longer have proper mouse domiciles, but you also never see a dog running off down the street with a long string of sausages in its mouth, pursued by a red-faced butcher in a blue-and-white striped apron, *or* a cat smugly making off with an entire fish. I blame wokeness.

Someone on Twitter/"X" asked for people's favourite original songs from TV or film. Here's "Under Your Spell", from Buffy's musical episode: an erotically charged love song from one woman to another, no small thing in 2001; almost every line has a plot-related double meaning; it's just a great tune.

OK, this truly is beyond a joke, now. John Cleese is sharing outright Nazi material on Twitter/"X", alongside the increasingly paranoid, hysterical anti-Muslim material. He's such a cultural titan, it really would be good to know what's actually going on, here. He is eighty-six years old, after all.

In one of his books, Terry Pratchett describes a hammy actor as having a voice you couldn't order coal with, because it'd turn up as diamonds. You'd think such a thing couldn't exist in real life, but that would be to reckon without the legendary Matt Berry. Lovely supercut from last night's Oscars.

Jesus Christ. Not even Reform, but the party for people too racist for Reform, as endorsed by the world's most notorious white nationalist. What happened to you, John Cleese? If it really is just advanced age, then I hope someone who loves him intervenes, sooner rather than later. So painful to see.

"I only hate the vast majority of Jews" really isn't the killer comeback these people seem to think it is.

A lot of people seem to struggle with the idea of Israel having central religious, cultural and historical importance to Jews, yet can easily grasp, for instance, why Mecca and Medina are important to Muslims, or Bethlehem and Rome are to Christians. It's a very tiresome form of selective stupidity.

I ordered my mum a big Toblerone for Mother's Day (which is tomorrow, in case any of my British followers have forgotten), and I'm now worrying it might be too big, at 750g. On the other hand, is it even possible, ontologically, for a Toblerone to be *too* big? Further study is evidently called for.

I finally got around to watching I Swear. What a wonderful film. It does skate close, at times, to "plucky British underdog movie" clichés, but John Davidson's story really *is* heartwarming and inspiring, so what could they do? I'm now doubly angry with his post-BAFTAs tormentors, as should you be.

What terrifies me, about stories like this, is the fact it's even possible for one human being to enslave another, in the context of a supposedly civilized, "developed" country. How many others, at this moment, are suffering in the same purgatory as "K", or Mo Farah, or the rest?

I'm eager to try Cadbury's new (?) Creme Egg bar, but this slogan is... eyebrow-raising, no? Like it comes from a brochure for gay sex.

Awww yiss. Everything's coming up Milhouse.

I can't help feeling there might be a latent metaphor, here, for society and politics in general.

Extremely depressing how John Cleese has aged into the genuine manifestation of the caricature he played in this scene almost 60 years ago. 😞 youtu.be/rwiS3g9ouGs?...

He surely is an idiot. I remember watching a televised Trump rally on 11/11/23 and saw and heard him call some Americans vermin and promise blood in our streets. The DJT idiots behinds him in red hats cheered. We ALL heard him say he was going to be a dictator. Every vote for him was treason.

"I for one am shocked that DONALD TRUMP lied to me..."